Blessedness

As 2014 is coming to a close and 2015 starting soon, let this post be a Blessing to All!!!

I call Singapore blessed and prosperous and joyful for the people, the government, the land and all who dwells in it and the whole Island!!!

I call the water around Singapore blessed and clean and full of fishes and lives to provide enough good food for the people of Singapore!!!

I call forth Shalom Peace to reign in each person heart and may forgiveness be given to each other so that All could live Peacefully!!!

I call forth the Commanded Blessing of Abraham to come to me, to Singapore, to church, and to the individuals in the Heart of God!!!

I call forth the Joy of the Lord Jesus be descend upon the people of Singapore to know that He is God and He loves them!!!

I call forth married couples to Realise each other is their love, Lord let their love be restored to new!!!

I call forth Singles to find their Beloved and have a sweet married life forever!!!

I command sickness, curses, sadness, frustration and anger to leave the land and to never come back in the name of Jesus!!!

I command Goodness and Peacefulness to surround and fill up the whole of Singapore in the Name of Jesus!!!

I command Good food and Health and Wholeness to reign in each and everyone in the Name of Jesus!!!

I command eyes be opened, ears be opened and Hearts be opened to know JESUS is the Living and Loving God in the Name of JESUS!!!

I call forth Peace to reign in the Fullness in Singapore in the Name of Jesus!!!

Amen Amen!!!

Fate

不打不相识!!! I know such relationionship does happen!!!

My JC days closed friend is married happily to such a man that they used to argue with in the initial knowing of each other!!!

I might not know who come up this idea, to use this man, Seng, whom I previously no clue of, as the bait of made believe he loves me. And the follow on checking on me and the opposing voice.

It is a harmless game to play with my emotion.

In the process, I got to know there is such a person as the focal point of fun. His closed relatives chip in make it real enough!!!

But, for a relationship to be real, a woman and a man must be contacting each other, otherwise it is not true!!!

Even Lord Jesus have to give us Holy Spirit to convince us and to lead us. He did not just go back to Heaven and leave us alone!! Holy Spirit is here in the Spirit Realm, with us!!!

So, trying to sell me there is someone crazily in love with me and yet, did not do the corresponding supposed action, just show it is just a game!!!

Even so, the one device such a game will be anxious to see if his plan works!!!

Emotion on his end is also in for this project of his!!! Am I right?

The used Boy/Girl relationship is ancients tactics that cause many to fall!!!

But I am one, who keen on study of this topic!!! It's many years of reading up and looking at others relationships.

And I am tested on myself the very topic that is closest to my heart.

By this person that come up this plan to trap me emotionally.

It would be fun to see where this is leading!!!

Thank God that I have JESUS and the renewal of Youth is a promise that will happen!!! As it's the Living Word of God!!!

Eventually where the whole idea of letting me fall in love with whom they focus on, the bible said if two or more agree, JESUS is in the midst and it would be the very result that is believed!!!

As the whole team agreed to such, ok, I agree with them!!! Let see where it ends!!!

不打不相识!!!
你知, 我知, 祂也知道！
你相信, 我相信, 祂也相信!!!

JESUS in the bible says that if you say what you believe, what you have said will happen the way you said!!!

Amen Amen!!!

Love Bank

How is love between couples created?

When two persons talk to each other, they deposited their emotions into each other Love Bank and as it increases, the feeling for each other increases.

For ex, when he needs favour, he uses that soft soothing voice to talk that draws the emotions out of those he talks to.

I was wanting him to take my name out of his house and due to some reason, it was not a priority in him. As I called him, he used that soft soothing voice that wanted me to give him more time!!! This was after almost 1 year of waiting for him to get the job done!!!

I was risen up emotionally but without a man to call my own to love. This emotion consist of many other men that come to talk to me instead that one man. 

With ex soft soothing voice, for a moment I did wonder should I turn back to him. But it's more about that one man that could do to get me that is stopping me from moving ahead. 

All the questioning if I move a step unknown to him is like I am like a sheep that cannot turn left or right but straight into his sheep fold!!!

But I see no shepherd just a lot of his helper and this lead me to be longing but don't know where the end is...

As the coming year I will be transformed maybe I will give a week or two, or at most a month, then I will drop it forever!!! I am not dragging it long. 

Be it Lord has trained me for him, if he is not willing to come forth to pick up, maybe I will u-turn or look for other sheep fold. I am not letting this emotion rising up but no where to deposit. I can't be talking to his men forever!!!

This dumping of me to them to receive their deposits into my emotional bank won't help him at all. It's them who deposited and not him!!!

Sincerity cannot be replicated.

The Jews Marriage

In a Jewish Marriage, as according to Book of Esther, the girl needs to soak in spices to prepare for the marriage, while the man will go prepare their marital home and the celebration.

Even Book of Ruth, Ruth must wait and let Boaz went around to settle all the issues and to open ways for the eventual redemption could happen!!! The kinsman redemption!!!

Lord led me 8 years to get ready for Him and He prepared me 5 years to get me ready for him.

Regarding this coming year is the Jubilee Year aka the Shemitah Year!!!

Lord is starting the year with a significant event to mark the beginning of His Coming!!!

We are the bride waiting for His Return and at the same time, for his approaching me!!!

All these years, I just soak in His Words and bath by His Spirit. I just listened to Him and obey His Commandment!!!

I just know I am going to use by Him for His Glory!!! The rest I just trust to Him and don't bother much over them.

Then I got notified of the man, in this loving me is his redemption. I didn't know my 5 years of moulding down is to redeem him eventually!!!

I just follow the River and flow!!! I am being made speechless by the Goodness of God that is put forth for me!!!

In the Nature, without knowing much I have to give myself to him. It's like the traditional Chinese Marriage of not knowing much of each other but there is checking by the parents, I went through don't know how long of the checking as each time I took the cab!!!

Spiritually I am tested to the fullness too!!!

The Glory that is going to open up for me is beyond what I could say!!! It is linked to the theme of the coming year!!!

Everything is lined up for His Return!!! The Bride, me, will greatly be blessed!!!

Whatever being prepared for me, I am too shy to disclose here!!! But it will put the fake in the world to shame!!! That's how much Lord is redeeming me!!!

By obeying Him, He is redeeming so fully that even my dignity is intact!!!

I thank My Father in Heaven for the Great Plan He had for my life!!! Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!

Poles Apart

I just read a post I wrote about Ex in 2013 regarding how Lord going to place us back together!!! I then realised Lord had put both plans out for me to see clearly!!!

The solution to ex and the solution to him is still the same old topic that is dearest to the heart of man.

I remembered a chat I had with ex last year on this area of Satisfaction. I used to cannot make myself please as my fingers are weaker as compared to ex, being a man, is stronger!!!

After having enjoyed myself in that marriage, getting out of it is like dry land, I could not get him anymore and I can't fulfill myself.

Ex was saying going out there and grabbed any man, but I could not do that.

Just this letting go for him, who likes me, had already took Lord 5 years to mould down. So how to open to any man, I could not!!!

In the end, I found something that is good enough to relieve myself in time of need.

As I was telling ex of my discovery, ex said that at least I could find something that replicate the finger's pressure and motion close enough. But for him, the only way is to go for a woman!!!

At that time, my simple mind was thinking, what so difficult? Find a hole will do the work!!!

It's when I understand the pleasure of man is seeing his girl got stimulated by him that will rise his much needed vision pleasure to a higher level that I had a better understanding!!!

As I wrote the above statement, Lord gave me an impression that's why him did not enjoy at all!!! It's not about the release but about looking at the pleasure of the girl and derive the pleasure of satisfaction!!! His ex wasn't happy and gave him frustration!!! How to enjoy under such condition!!!

It's like Ps Prince described about man cannot give as good as God bless!!! A father can asked his teenage boy to order any food in a eat out but when the boy ordered an expensive steak. Even though  the father let him have it, the father will scold him for ordering such an expensive one. The boy will eat with tears running down his soured face!!!

I am feeling this was what he went through!!! So how he had 'enjoyed' and they hoped for another same kind of woman, of same family status, for him is just blow the mind!!! This is the first time I understand him better!!!

It takes only an understanding of their wholesome need that one can understand it is not just any woman or any hole that could do the job but the chemistry within.

I thank Lord for letting me see things clearly and have a proper understand of man as they are!!!

No wonder God said not good for man to be alone and created Eve!!!

Praise Jesus!!!

In Just A Few Days

I never realize I will miss such a guy, who appeared once and behind me once and that's it.

Based on his men talking, his sis and nephew appearance and a call that I didn't answer as I was elsewhere in the house. And all the whispers, I do wonder if he is real for me.

If not real, I can't explain those tracing, talking people and especially the angry face. But if he is real, why he choose to stay away?

Lord promised all that He promised will be done soon. But how should I deal with my heart? I wonder!!!

Just now look at a girl with pretty good skin, Lord said mine will even be better than her!!! I am looking forward to the new me.

Just now in church, church asked us to hug someone and this sweet girl that has sleepy eyes gave me a hug that was so warmth!!! As I spoke blessing into her life, she got so emotional that she gave me another hug!!!

Today circle 1 is cold, but the hugs from this girl warmth my heart so much and her warm sweater gave me the necessary warmth from the aircon cold!!!

Today's topic is about the glorious face that Lord is giving us in the coming year!!!

Yes, I need such a radiantly youthful face for such a guy to come into my life!!! The blessings said sons and daughters will come from afar, yes, I need that for Jc to love me again and Lord said I am going to have another 2 boys and 1 girl!!! Plus Jc would be just nice!!!

The main complaint about me is this appearance and the status!!! The so called tradition that both side of the family must of equal status for a marriage to be well matched!!!

I thank You Abba, that Your Lifting me up, whatever status will not be an issue!!! As all my siblings will all be lifted up at the same time!!! Glory Glory!!!

Today whole sermon is about this radiant face, I am glad all that being said about the prosecution is what I am experiencing currently!!! That means only part left is the blessings!! And I will be in the position to pick and choose!!! Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!

Hmmm, who should I pick? The invisible or the disbelief??? That could be fun!!!

Between the two, I enjoyed talking to his group of brothers, but the other, I didn't like the friends he mixed with.
(PS: With the Poles Apart post, now I realise choosing either man affects my level of enjoyment too!!! It just hit my mind!!!)

I thank Lord who is Almighty, is happy with me and is finally blessing me the 3 wishes!!! Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!

Passed

Glory Glory!!! Lord has said I passed the emotional test. Hallelujah!!! Glory Glory!!!

When things don't sound logic or look logical, it is better to trust The Lord than venture into the deep blue sea!!!

During this period of time, I met all the great testers and skillful drivers!!! I am really Honoured to have them driving me and testing me. Thank you very much!!!

It's good the country have you guys to take care of the internal security!!!! I am Honoured to meet you all!!!

How different am I from the average Singaporean? I give suggestions that works; from flexible working hours to don't penalize housing to divorced people that give HDB ideas to build for single to loving government leads to loving people!!! These are the few suggestions I had put in different social media and was picked up and implemented.

So I am for the government and the people. I am for the goodness of Singapore!!!

Even though I did all that, I don't claim credit!!! As long as people benefited, I am happy!!!

Life ahead is even better for the overall goodness of Singapore!!! All I can say is Fear Not, Redemption is on the way!!!

I just have the revelation if I want to walk as JESUS walk, I must not look into the past at all as the Blood of Jesus has washed whiter than snow and whom The Lord forgiven, I should forgive till see in Righteouness of God!!!

So please forgive me in those areas I did not walk as JESUS walk!!!

I thank you all for your interest in me and make an effort to appear in my presence!!! I am very very Honored!!!

God blessed you, Abundantly!!! Amen Amen!!!

The Family

I thought my Christmas Eve will be spent home alone but Abba is so Good to me!!!!

As mum went to Haven on Eve of Christmas, which is Su's spouse birthday and he minded it. But it was suggested celebrate it as Lord Jesus birthday and he was ok with it!!! Hallelujah!!!

My Family had so much happenings that this small celebration is a good Begining!!!

(PS: Last night, when Su explained Her spouse mind mum slept on his birthday, I reputed them gently!!!

The bible promised life Abundant Life, Zoe Life, how can my parents be dead having received JESUS into their lives!!!

Jesus said GOD IS the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. He did not say He Was!!! So, if Abraham that lived that long ago is still alive, so are my parents, just that they are not in their earthly body but enjoying life in Heaven, with God's love in Abundance around them!!!)

However, I didn't have the togetherness that I used to have and I wondered why? It's like there is a invisible wall which I cannot explained!!! Somehow even the food is good but seem like a missing of warmth!!!

But overall is still okay!!! Glory Glory!!!

I don't know why Su asked me to go queue for seat. She even asked if Star Vista is that closed. For me, as long as I had a seat, I am okay!!!

I could still remembered the lots of people in previous venue that I am glad to be able to secure a seat!!!

But this week I heard the train at location has power trip and the taxi home from Su place had smoke!! And Su keep asking which service I am going, plus the visitation by unexpected people, I don't feel good about this journey to church!!!

Su was suggesting I go for queue seat in future and somehow, she also asked previously why I don't go MBS!!!

Seem like the push to not booking seat and going to MBS is there!!! The behind scene I don't know what is being cooked!!!

As it is approaching Year of Shemitah, 2015, the things that is building up behind is kind of weird!!!

Abba, You are my rescue hand out of all these!!! I cast to You and I thank You for a Peaceful worship of You in church!!! I pray in the Name of Jesus!!! Amen Amen!!!

Peace to the World

Christ JESUS was born in among the animals resting and feeding area of The INN, a place that previously belongs to King David but given to a trusted friend.

Joseph and Mary were from the Royal line of King David but by then the place was ruled by Romans and a puppet King was put to rule instead.

It was under such conditions that the Grace and Truth of God came to Earth and Born was JESUS in a manger, a feeding stone box that was in the stall.

The Word of God, as written in the Book of John:

John 1:1-5
'In the Beginning was The Word,
And The Word was with God,
And The Word was God. 

He was with God in the Beginning. 

All Things came through Him,
And there was Not One Thing that 
came into Being 
Without His Participation. 

What had come in Him was Life,
And The Life was 
The Light of Mankind:

And The Light Shines into Darkness,
Nevertheless the Darkness 
Has Not Appropriate it.'

JESUS, the Almighty One, was born in such a lowly place, the Saviour of the World!!!

Who is man that we deserve His Love in coming all the way, from the God Most High to born in a stall, and put in a manger!!!

His Job was to do His Father's Will to Die for man.

GOD, The Father, in loving us, sent JESUS Christ to die our death!!!

Under the Law of God, if you fail 1 law of walking upright, in Honor God, in Loving man, you fail it all and the end result is Death!!!

God, The Father, sent Him, to die our Death and all our punishments so that we could come under His Blessings!!!

He Loves us So Much that He want us to have Good Life!!!

He Opens the Way through Christ Jesus so that those who believe what JESUS had Done and accepted His Sacrifice as our Lamb of God, received the Righteouness of GOD!!!

Those believing Jesus, will become In the Seed of Abraham and in Him, we received The Promise of God whom Promise to bless His Descendants. Glory Glory!!!

In this Season of Christmas, I pray that may those believing JESUS and walking closely with Him be Highly Blessed, Deeply Love and may the Prince of Peace, His Shalom Peace reign in you. In the Name of Jesus, by His Grace, I prayed.

Merry Christmas and a Happy 2015!!!

The Price of Meat

Lord, my Comforter, the Signs and Miracle Worker in me, is letting me know what man is looking for in a woman.

Basically, they wants their needs to be meet and their Hormones produces by the thousands daily!!! This is what keep them as man and interested in woman. While woman is the Emotional being that wants the man to want her, to love her!!!

What I faced lately is yawning with legs opened or those who commented the old meat, nothing interesting. They only looked at me like a piece of meat!!!

But, man to woman there is a relationship that bond the togetherness too!!! It is the soul mate or crashes when two talked to each other, if the thoughts of things flows in the same agreement!!!

Frankly, if 5 years ago, I am to meet a high frequency man, I would say, "Oh, No!!!". That was the first time Lord told me my future man needs is high!!!

I did question Him on why put us together? He said, "No Problem!!!"

Yes, He is Faithful God!!! I have become one!!! That's what He has tuned me up lately!!!

I know in the sex market, 20s are the in demand and after that, they are considered old!!!

But I Praise Jesus for what He had done on the Cross!!! He died young at 33 so that I could have His Youthfulness!!!

Lord promised to restore me to 30 when I meet him and 20 when I receive the fullness of the Abraham Blessing!!!

He is the One that bless me and him as One. So of course He must make sure all our desires are met!!! After all, He is the God of Abundance, El Shaddai!!!

The last cab driver was telling me none of his girlfriends could take his needs. 

But, with a Almighty God, why not???

He asked me to try him!!! As if this is a game!!! I am not a loose woman and I won't go for just anybody that comes along that says they want. It's for him and him alone!!!

By Grace, it shall be Done!!!

I believe in the Miracle Worker!!! Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!

The End of Path

After almost a year of staying here and waiting upon The Lord, today finally get the news the Name Transfer to my eldest sis for this apartment to put on sale is on as at Today, 22/12/2014.

It means I being put here to be tested is coming to an end too. Time for me to shift to another home soon.

I have told sis to give me sometime to think over how should I move ahead!!!

Surprisingly when I am feeling sad, because sis said you should know long ago, that such a day is coming!!! Well, what I didn't know is Lord Promises dragged so long!!

He saw me sad and told me if He didn't answer me, He will be a Ku Ku, His Joke made me laugh again!!! I just love Him, My Comforter!!! Glory!!! Glory!!!

I know He will not forsakes me after I had trusted Him so long!!!

I told sis that give me to mid January 2015 to think how should I move and she agreed!!!

My Abba, You said when I ask, You will give, You are better than our earthly father!!! I ask You to deliver me out of This home to the Blessed Home!!! I pray in the Name of JESUS!!!! Amen Amen!!!

The Invisible Hand

This weekend taking my meal and buying my weekly Grocery, like there is a invisible hand helping me!!!

With the extraction of my discharge to make into curse, I am facing a harder time being myself but there is a helping hand out there taking good care of me!!!

I saw a sugar cane stall and I decided to order a cup. Usually I would add lemon into it but due to the great disturbance on my head, I have forgotten about it!!!

Midst of waiting for the juice, a teenage girl ran from behind me into the stall and when my juice was delivered to me, I could taste the lemon in it.

For a moment, I was wondering how did the lemon get in there since I didn't tell the stall holder but guess, he sent someone to take care of it!!! Sweet!!! ;)

I had gone around look for a week supply of banana but most were to many for me. One stall I went refused to cut into half for me but the other stall even bother to cut into my requirements!!!!

I saw a lady seem to appear where I was and I saw she had a list of something written on a small piece of paper!!! I wondered what was it for?

I got a good scolding last night!!! Talking about I don't have the money nor the youth. Practically is talking I am not worthy.

They even tried to listen to my thoughts and gave me great displeasure as emotional need rise and if really he is there somewhere and yet choose to stay away,

I take it as mind my appearance and this is what I do not want him to be!!! It really catching in the air!!!

I told Lord after my transformation and he still hiding, then I am going to forget all about it. I can't play hide and seek forever!!!

At the same time, I do wonder if I will like him if one day he appear before me!!!

But Lord assured I will. So let see!!!

After having frozen but not fresh chicken from a supermarket, I do wary about the meat I bought yesterday!!! But thank God! They are fresh!!!

So yesterday I had sweet moment and also angry witches shouting downstairs in the early of the morning!!! Guess their love portion didn't work and got a scolding from their boss!!!

Basically, they had a hard time convincing the guy to love the girl while me here was saying things like if he mind my appearance, then it's better for him to go for the girl, who has the youth and the fire!!!

I am having my displeasure due to the emotional need rising and dealing with it!!!

But I know it's stupid reasoning as he won't hold on to me if he really mind!!! He want me to be his pride, according to what was told to me.

But I don't like it everybody knows him but I don't!

There was once I back to ex home; mainly to deliver the phone cover to my girl and to charge my iPhone and filled my water and to take a rest talking to my girl and the 2 boys that were talking with her!!!

But I was questioned of my intentions of going there!!! Was ex around? Was I moving back there??? I was wondering why the cab driver asked me all these personal questions??? Only last night then Lord revealed it was him wanting to know!!!!

Lord said He blocked my view of his face so I would not run to him before the time mature!!! Deep!!! Only He knows him!!! Maybe nature of his job!! Do a good investigation first before committing!!! He need to be sure whom he is getting!!!

My God!!! My Abba!!!

Wife vs Sex Professional

Yesterday while eating my lunch, it was peaceful originally. Then half way through, it's like a team of people was being set up to watch me eat.

Right in front of me, was a man with his legs spread widely opened. Why would a man with a sound mind did that to a stranger me is out right obscene!!! I quickly finished my meal and went off.

Long time ago, while I was still staying at ex place, there was once the train officer did that to me too.  I was in my nap and as I woke up upon destination, when I opened my eyes, there was he doing the offensive act!!!

I might talk about service to man but what I am referring to is within a marriage relationship and not any Tom, Dav and Henry!!!

Why my thought was formulated so?

When I was growing up, I read the 'Agony Aunty' columns and I understand some men goes after other girls or sex professional for their services and the marriage suffered!!!

I also understand wife is not the same as them.

I also understand from Mark Gungor that if not for sex, man won't even come into a marriage!!! True, there are people that could provide clean a house or even cooked food.

Also from him, I learned that man are sexually active all the way into old age. Their needs only decline in sicknesses but once over, they are as good as young in their need!!! That's why old man still go looking even though they have a wife at home!!!

So practically, if a wife still rejects the husband, why have her around just to tolerate her emotional displeasure?! Hehe, talking from a man perspective!!!!

Man could go for mistress too!!!

So, as a female and would be marry one day, I did hope I am able to provide so that my man stay with me!!!

And who best to learn from except those service provider???

So I went to Sammyboy and other similar sites to learn what they did with the man!!!

I hope to gather as much knowledge so that my man benefit and remain with me and love me!!! It just a simple thought of keeping my man happy!!!

Of course now, I learn that no matter what a wife did, there are those that likes to taste wild meat!!! I won't want to end with one, I prayed!!!

Otherwise, in a healthy relationionship, God the Father let His Kids enjoy His Love and the greatest joy is to come together as one in loving of each other!!!

I learn as much as I could as I want a healthy love relationship and that include a healthy sexual life with the one I love too!!!

I still believe that if he is happy, he will love me.

Yesterday church asked us to hug each other and I saw a couple in front of me that felt awkward hugging each other and they didn't in the end. The mother was friendlier to her daughter than her man!!! It is a sad stage of marriage to see couple distant from each other!!!

For me and ex, he still hugged me during divorce to calm me down from the high emotional event. His heart might be elsewhere but that hug did calm me down.

But yesterday hugging with a stranger lady that sat beside me is kind of weird as there wasn't any emotion involved.

I am just mould in such a way and with interest in human relationships with man and with God!!! Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!

PS: If a lady, not keen at all about who her man is and what is his needs and how to satisfy each other, why go into a marriage expecting to be pampered but care nothing about the dearest that is pampering you? It goes both ways!!!

The Love Portion

Guess the Last Spiritual test from the devil is the test of Love/Lust!!!

It comes in the form of my house got a electricity trip and the whole house was down. An electrician had to be called in and I called the Town Council for help. The electrician, Mr C came an hour later!!!

Thank God that he offered to help even though it is not supposed to as it was a problem in the house. As I have no one to call, he helped me tracked the problem.

The thing is, I answered a call with no caller Id and I got the curse!!!

The Feeling is like Mr C became like a well related friend. There is no restrictions and the feeling is like having a good relationship with him and I didn't know why I laughed a lot and practically following him around the house!!!

He found a switch was spoiled and went down to get a new one to replace. Somehow, I busy with my Ironing and didn't bother about he coming back in, somehow broke the curse and I wasn't laughing anymore and didn't follow him anymore!!!

But it was after he left that I prayed to the Lord to remove it. Lately, the added test is about men hinting about sex to me!!!

Now I can tell through the last few years, the different plays, I know those that he was not involved, most likely, wasn't even from him. His way is mild as compared to them, whom hinted either with eyes looking or put in a conversation directly or indirectly!!!

Guess, Lord using this to train me for the eventual Glory, where I am young again!!!

I can't imagine what temptation that renewal will have.

But this feeling of wanting a man is back to tempt me again and I do wish ...!!!

Endurance!!! Endurance!!!

The 5 Years of Grace

Listen to the sermon on the Detoks Year of Grace for 2009 at the end of 2008, it's like my walk of this Time Flame accelerate to a brand new level of new beginnings and new challenges and new mountains to climb.

The sermon is as exciting as what I went through by the Grace of JESUS. Each step is leading higher to a brand new level of tests that looking back at those events that I had been through, it was a big Wow!!! All Glory to Lord is with me at each step of the way!!!

Also from the shaky walk out of a divorce, through the many other tests that build me up to be stable again. 

From don't know where all these curses and tracing are from to know more about the behind scenes!

I really thank the Lord that did not forewarn me but let me face it as it comes!!! Many of the victories, if without him, it is not possible!!! All Glory goes to Him. He is the One who path my ways. Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!

I Really Thank Him that He is the Way and whatever is hidden He brings to clarity as He Lights the Way!!!

I would be lost if He did not hold my Hand and walk through each step with me!!!

How would I know ancient story still on play and we don't know and don't care don't mean others don't. His Light shines on it and everything become clear!!!

Counterfeit cannot always remain as real forever and the truth will be out!!!

How Ancient friends could still be friends today is truly amazing!!!

Only by the Grace of JESUS that everything is made possible!!!

I Thank Lord Jesus for leading me to walk Your Path of Righteousness for Your Name Sake!!!

Glory Glory!!!

人在江湖身不由己，

只有耶稣基督能够让我走得快乐有趣！

The Trusted Friend

I till this day, is still not sure why so much curses came upon us. I used to think the most powerful could do all that he want to do, after all, all Authorities are given to him.

It was till Today, as I read the book of Esther as was told, I finally see a better picture!!!!

You see, the King loves Esther, it was Haman, who was the Jews ancient enemy that was out to harm them. He is just using the King's means to get his job done!!!

So my previous understanding is not accurated!!!

I guess, if my ancient great grandfather could believed this man so much that he trusted all his wealth to him while he was busy with politics; helping and funding, this man must be someone whom was so closed as like a brother!!! 

Otherwise, which man in his sensible mind would do that???

This was the story that passed from my grandma to my mum. But who this guy was, we have no clue and don't be bothered. We are peaceful people that mum taught us well, to depend on our own means to work and earn. 

I sitting at home to wait upon the Lord is also a work onto Him as directed by Him. 

Lord is good that whatever the locusts had stolen, He is restoring back to my family!!! Glory Glory!!! And it will benefit he, who is being used too. As what the bible shows!!! Glory Glory!!!

I don't know how the man, whom the Lord recommended is related to the whole thing but as I am put to wary to touch him, make it more than the usual normal conditions!!!

Anyway, I have the Lord and He choose to call me from Ancient to be born for such a purpose and He decided to pour so much on me, till now I have no clue how much it is going to be, but I don't care!!! Money is not my concern!!!

The funny thing is if we are left to live our lives, we won't be wondering too!!! But things happenened to me so much that I am forced to come out of my sleep to wonder why things are being shown to me so much that I don't know what to expect next!!!

But I won't lost sleep over it as usual. What concern those who concerned of all that was related to me, is not my problem!!!

We are just peaceful living people caring about our own life. But of course for me, now is not about me anymore but my Lord. This body is a sacrifice to Him for His Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!

The joke of the day was eldest sis called a meeting last week to ask about the prayer thingy for our ancestors as she heard of didn't do properly, our future will be affected!!!

The thing is, none of us bothers, we not even know where mum had placed them!!! The 2 stoned photos of our ancestors, none of us want them!!!

But in Christ, blessedness come from JESUS Completed Work at the Cross that blessed us, what can man do?

Our soul is contested by God and Devil. God uses love while devil uses all the ills that he called fun to tempt man. Whom we choose in this life time, will decide where we are heading in the after life. Whom you give your soul to.

Either your soul go to Heaven, if Holy Spirit is with you, or your soul head down to hell!!!

Now I finally understand why we need the Holy Spirit to be with us!!! As devil will come to tempt the soul to the path of Hell, Holy Spirit will direct us, who accepted Jesus to the Tunnel of Light up to Heaven!!!

So ancestors has no way of blessing us!!! But more of what we do in this world!!! The Heavenly Law for those that has not received JESUS freely given Redemption from sin!!!

I do hope your listening Ears and hearing Heart is opened!!! Glory Glory!!!

Government of the World

I just woke up from a dream and a spiritual talk. I think I have something to explain.

When government sees that I so keen on people, I think they believe I am like those oppositions that tried to grab the position out of them. But their thoughts on my intention are Wrong!!!

I like to look at how people goes about their daily life, I like to see how politicians use their powers to the effect of the people and the surroundings.

But my intention is Not to become one of them!!!!

Abba Father send me to this World is not to control but to help. My Anointing is not of Government Anointing but my Anointing is of the Spiritual side of man's life!!!

He rising me up to let man knows more about Him, God the Father through Christ Jesus!!!

In man's daily life, those who don't know Jesus thought that by offering joss sticks, fruits and animals sacrifices, they thought they had pleased the God!!! There are people who thought by killing people, they are pleasing the God!!!

In Genesis 4:3-5,
'...Cain brought An Offering to The Lord 
from the Fruit of the ground. 
And Abel also brought 
from the Firstlings of his Flock and from its fat. 

And The Lord Turned to Abel and his offering,
But He Did Not Turn to Cain and to his offering. 

And Cain was very, very angry.'

Genesis 4:10-11
'And He said, "What have you done?
The Voice of your brother's blood cries to ME from the Ground.'

Hebrew 9:8-14
'Although the Holy Spirit made this clear, 
The way into the Holy of Holies 
Had Not Yet been Revealed 
While the First Tabernacle 
Was Still standing, 

Which was a Symbol for the Present Time, 
According to which both 
Gifts and Sacrifice were Brought 
Which Were Not Able to Perfect 
The Conscience of the Worshipper,

They were only Regulations of Flesh on 
Food and Drink 
and Different Immersions,
Imposed Until the Time of the New Order. 

But when Messiah Appeared as High Priest 
Of the Things that were of a Higher Order 
Through the Greater and More Complete Tabernacle,

That was Not Made by Human Hands, 
That is Not of this Creation,
And Not Entering by the Blood of Goats and Calves,

But Through His Own Blood,
He Entered Once into the Holy of Holies,
Finding Eternal Redemption for us. 

For if the Blood of Goats and Bulls 
and the Sprinkling of the Ashes of a Heifer
Sanctify those who had been defiled, 
Making their Flesh Clean,

How Much More the Blood of The Messiah,
Who through the Eternal Spirit 
Presented Himself Blameless as an Offering to GOD,
Cleanses our Conscience 
from dead works in Service to the Living God.'

So you see, only Through JESUS, our Lamb of God, the True Sacrifice that through His Blood, bring to us, His Eternal Redemption. Hallelujah!!! Amen Amen!!

The Crown

I just finished listening to the sermon God's Promised the Transfer of Weath as impressed by the Lord!!!

I listened to this sermon a few times through the years and I never know I am related to it!!!

Before becoming a believer, I always thought Christian got their English names when they become Christians.

And thus when I become one and even going to baptize soon, I asked the Lord to give me a name!!!

I used to call myself Sunny as I got out of my depression by taking a lesson of encouragement from the sun.

But Lord did not give me one till a few months later!!! So those who previously know me, even in church care groups that I joined previously know me by the name of Sunny.

I was wondering why Lord named me Stephanie as it means The Crown!!!

It was when Pastor said blessing is at the Crown of Joseph that Lord impressed me of it!!!

You see, Joseph typifies JESUS in the bible and thus by believing JESUS, He is my Joseph and Lord called me, Stephanie, the Crown, to typify blessing is in me!!!! Glory Glory!!!

The sermon was in 2009-2010, as the friend whom created this MP3 sermon didn't put the date. But it was said Israel discovered the Gas and now we know oil also and it overflows recently!!! One of it worst kind!!!

When I was in Israel in 2009, there was lack of rain but this December, Israel is complaining about raining a lot and even flooding, and Gaza was facing the flooding too!!!

Rain typified blessings in the bible!!!

And since it overflowing all the way to Gaza, Gaza people complained the flood came from Israel!!!

One Israel ex PM also compared Gaza land size to that of Singapore!!!

So it is going to be a overflowing blessing with Spilled over to another country/ City effects!!!

What a Sign for me!!! As I know Singapore and Israel are highly blessed!!! Glory Glory!!!

The time like this that the incidents happened and I waiting for my blessing is like first Israel and then the World. ;)

And like what the bible says, people is questioning where is the blessing???

And Lord says it is near!!!

In that sermon also talked about renewal of youth, from corruptible to non corruptible, from mortality to non mortality!!!

Surely this is coming in this Jubilee/ Shemitah year, 2015!!!

I am surely looking forward to its coming!!! Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!

Lord is With Me

At this point in time, I am like Christ, hanging on the Cross.

Heaven says cannot die, Earth says please die!

Siblings dare not open door to me, friends dare not talk the truth to me!

Asked ex if after restoration, will he consider me, he replied, 'No, Move On!'

The spiritual voice that was checking on me make sure that whomever men I am not supposed to have.

In the midst of all these I was put to sleep a few times this evening and yet to take dinner!!!

I am really like Christ, hanging in the midst of no where!!!

But God says look to Him, Lord Jesus had hung for me, He is holding my hand and whatever I believe and ask will be given.

Don't look to the world nor to self but to Him!!!

I left Nothing but Him!!!

In this emptiness, Lord wants me to put my trust on Him! To exercise my muscle of Faith. He said I just need a mustard seed Faith and He will do the rest!!!

This Christmas is special that it is in the middle of the week that church has 2 celebrations the Sunday before and the Sunday after!!!

And we are all stepping into the Year of Shemitah, where all situations are going to change!!! For Israel and for those against it!!!

I Know my Future is bright no matter how devil likes to show me otherwise!!!

I Know everything will turn around!!! My Emptiness will be filled and my aloneness will come to an end.

I Know the Plan of The Lord for me is good!!! And JESUS is my Aleph Tav!!!

And He speaks of Good Things and there is Nothing bad in Him!!! Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!

Hearts

While I was writing those posts, Lord, the Holy Spirit hovered around to see the hearts of local men that might match me and He saw Nothing!!!

So He said eventually when I am restored, He will reconcile me with ex. He will give him Heart of Love to love me again!!!

He said ex looked most promising among all. Glory Glory!!!

He let me shift my focus away so that He could change him. He said he is almost there!!! Glory Glory!!!

After looking around, I also think so too!!!

Thank You, Abba Father, Lord Jesus and the Holy Spirit!!! Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!

Hiazz

As I was feeling shitty over what I have written, Lord revealed to me that whatever He tested me, Devil made a shitty story to shame me!!!

No wonder the one whom Lord first sent to lead me, said that sometimes after Lord Test, devil will continue with his set of 'tests'

This is another around of that same old stuff!!!

Lord JESUS, I need your decerning power to tell the difference!!!

Lord Help me!!!

The Last Curse

One of the question raised from this last call with my friend was why I went to ex to test Lord's restoration of me sexually.

That day was the day of Hoping he would want me again was scattered to pieces!!!

As he concluded there were better choice out there and even this problem that he used to mind about me was gone, he after a evening of deep thoughts, decided to give me up totally!!!

We all know if a child is rejected totally, the effect on that child. But when a man, when even the very problem was solved and yet chose to walk off by saying greener pastures out there!!! The degree of impact on me was that damaging!!!

That's why I always wanted him to have me again, it's like unconsciously I needed him to validate my usefulness again!!! 

I mean the job of a woman is to provide for the man. So I need to restore my confidence of my usefulness.

That is why no matter which guy who came along all these years, I always asked why you want this body?

That is why I always hope to get a restored body first before going for another man.

That is why I keep running away, as I was not confident of my ability to provide!

I always hope that a man would come and confirm wanting me so that I could be confident of my usefulness.

So I will not be going to man but want him, who hinted, to say he really want me and need me!!!

This is why by telling me he is there loving me out there don't confirm anything for me to feel secured!!!

Plus it's like people finger pointing at me, looking at me with a 'knowing' of something is all affecting me in the wanting too as I see myself not worthy enough!!!!

So with all that, I need Lord to show me where should I move from here!!!

Esther and the Prosecution of Jews really gives me the strength needed to stand strong to face the challenges I have foresaw!!!

Also, the ownership of this love, needed strong confidence of myself to accept it and to own it!!!

As long as I don't own it, I have no right to speak into his life!!!

Even though through the story told by my friend, I know this guy quarreled 4 years with his dad over something/someone that the last ridiculous accusation had made the father lost hope for the son!!!

It's by the Grace of JESUS that joined the pieces of the story together to get a clearer picture that they tried to put forth!!! And the strong anxiety that they presented, let me realised it has something to do with me!!!

And finally through the revelation as I wrote, the issue about the dad wanted him to accept the arrangement of marriage had led them quarreled for 4 years!!!

(PS: if they had 4 years of disagreement, means the quarrel started in 2011, Lord said he encountered my blog in 2008 and went back to read 2007, practically he is with me, unknowingly, all along!!! And by the end of 2008, things started to happen to ex and then to me!!! Wow!!!)

Through the quarrel, his deep love for me and wanted me so much was revealed! That's why many knows about I am the topic of the disagreement to the extend of sexually was talked and their views of me was a rotten woman!!!

The degree that the rest griefed about he wanting me is what made me realize the degree of his believe in all that I have written through the years!!!

I was having no confidence of myself but this man holds so tight on me that the jealousy of me by the rest is presented to me loud and clear!!!!

But before I realized it, I was wondering why are they treating me that way when I have done nothing!!!!

But when the Truth is out, with the help of Lord, then I am amazed in the trust he has committed to me!!!! Suddenly as I took responsibility on this love, I am able to speak into his life to redeem the contention and bring Peace to the situation.

I thank Lord for being the inbetween!!! Without Him, I won't be able to know what is the behind scene when I was not involved nor know about it. 

My friend uses her family to paint the picture of the contention about marriage cert witnesses name about brother getting uncle to sign but she forced brother to let dad sign because it rightfully should be so but the marriage cert bearing the uncle's name and had to be altered etc!!! 

How to link that to me??? Only the Lord could!!!

Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen

My Destiny

I was pretty troubled with all that was revealed to me through my friend and the called back to check was lagi more headache!!!

Through meditation I don't know how much more should I believe.

And for a man that yet to present himself, should I continue to trust any further!

With all these questions, and a unsettled heart, I prayed to Lord to speak to me, especially through the pastor as I attended church today!!!

Lord revealed this morning how he come to know about me and fall in love with me, when I was still married and he found comfort in his moment of sadness! He saw through me and gone through the single and young. But still prefers me.

Even he has yet to approach me but he has given enough clue about himself. Lord reminded me to trust him based on his efforts!!!

As Ps Lawerance preached about the book of Esther, their race has been under prosecution but what it made them is more resilient to look after themselves.

Lord reminded me whatever He planned for me, there is a purpose and a destination!!! I shall not shy from it!!!

I was asked a question if the open door of Lord is going to be another 3-5 years, what should I do?

Basically Lord raised me so long for what purpose? It is still about His Calling, of course I will wait!!!

What about the Love that is known but yet to see!!! I shall take responsibility on it!!! I shall not run away!!! At least, to honor the efforts he put in all these years!!! To pull me to him!!! I will wait patiently till the day the door is open!!!

One thing I learnt from that spiritual encounter about him was, whenever I was in doubt of his reality, I sensed sadness from his end!!!

I used to see my body but if he still wants me despite all that, I will honour him!!!

It's a boat I got up out of curiosity and my emotions was tied in too!!! I could feel his pain!!!

But could I recommend you to calm down? Quarrels or run to gain support from uncle, won't help in mending the relationship to the one that is dearest to you!!! After all, he is your father, without him, you won't be here in this world.

Lord wants us to Honour our parents!!! At least your dad is still with you!!! Treasure him before it is too late!!! Don't disregard him in your action!!!

He does love you!!! He thinks his choice is a better one for you!!! You should at least thank him for bother to help you find a partner!! Whether you like her or not is secondary!!! But at least thank him for his efforts in doing it!!!

Especially if it was a marriage agreement, to go back to the girl's family to say sorry, is also a humiliation he had to take!!! You, as the son, you should appreciate him for all that he was doing in loving you!!!

You cannot fault him for not knowing your choice of interest!!! After all he is not you!!! I think marriage arrangement is the women's job as women are more sensitive emotionally!!!

But since your mum has passed away, he tried his limited efforts to do the job for you, at least you should appreciate and thank him. You want to accept or not is a different issue!!! You cannot fault him for not loving you!!!

If a person don't love, he couldn't be bother to do anything for you!!!

I hope this can get into your listening ears and hearing heart!!!

I hope you could apologise of your disrespectful to him, being your parent, worked hard all those years to keep you in school, get all the good food and now earning a good salary!!! Without his hardwork to put you through, where will you be today!!!

He is a old man now and you are old enough to know he did sweat for you!!!

I hope you will not blame me for being busybody!!! But I was told I did nothing about it but just enjoying your love!!!! How I wish it is the truth!!! ;)

May the Lord Bless you with Shalom Peace to handle the situation peacefully!!! Amen Amen!!!

What I went through

Knowing how good the Lord is, all the while I am trusting Him for a marriage break through of restoration of the brokenness of the marriage!!!

But due to His leading and testing and talking, He changed my heart to look forward. However, it is not as rosy as it should be!!! In fact, fire, brimstone are approaching!!!

All because a man believed in all that Lord has promised me while ex just laughed it off!!!

From a lonely, loveless marriage to lots of curses, to privacy invaded, to food supply being altered, to daily clothes being cut, to many traces and next will be the thunderstorm.

I don't know what gone through the other end! But the hotter the battle is, the greater the hostility towards me!!! I am being drawn into it being the other woman!!!

In a way, I do hope he just accept his father's arrangement and live with it as that's their practice! But I know he would be sad. Just like Prince Charles, the world love Princess Diana but his heart is elsewhere!!! Thank God he is happy now!!!

For me, as I yet to really see him, giving up is not that difficult!!! But Lord told me the challenge is on and I will have to face everything that is coming on!!!

This is the Path my Daddy God has chosen even though He knows what is ahead!!!

My mind is more of waiting for the Lord to open His Door for me to start work and throw that aside!!! But I sense the urgency of the situation!!!

I am not a confrontation person and I don't like to face such!!! But guess no choice have to settle once for all!!!

Abba, I don't know if I should thank You for putting me through this!!! My heart is not settled, I sense something in the air!!!

Thank You Jesus, you are my Begining and my Ending!!!

God's Way

All the while through these 8 years of leading and testing, I thought I am to receive a youth restoration and be highly blessed then look for a man.

But seem like Lord has other plan!!!

Yes, I know blessed family life come before the rest, but I am currently single and alone how to have that family life first?

Today He made me feel like calling someone to talk, so called a old colleague cum friend and my Aunty. End up my friend returned call talked about my previous marriage in certain aspect of it. It was an after thought that I realise it was a test!!!

Lord told me today a blessed day and it end up is a blessed test!!! Oh my Abba!!!

Now is already the 2nd week of December and think the name transfer of this house will complete by January and this house will be put on sale!!!

Suddenly I got a panic attack!!! 2nd sis said her home no room for me and eldest sis said so too!!!

If Lord blessed home didn't come in time, I do have to look for an alternative home to stay!!!

My Father, My Father, I passed this problem to Lord Jesus nail pierced hand and You help me settle!!!

Don't put me in a helpless situation when my Trust in You and hold whatsoever You promise faithfully!!! Do not let Your Beloved be savage by this problem!!!

Lord, should I look for a rented room or go apply for those 1 room HDB? Do guide me!!! I pray in the Name of Jesus!!!! Amen Amen!!!

Ex still yet to release my name from the last apartment!! Aiyoh HDB option is out!!!

Praise the Lord, He sent a friend to tell me after sale of flat still have 4 month leap time!!! So no need to panick!!! ;)

The Nature of God

If you see your situation getting bleak, rejoice!!! The worst situation and almost hopeless it is, rejoice!!!

Why I say rejoice?

Look at Moses, when he was a prince in the palace, God could not use him. It was when he ran away to the desert (area of hopelessness) taking care of sheep, weak and old and could not even speak properly that Lord God finally went to look for him and didn't allow him to reject the calling but allow him to have Alan, his brother, to help Him!!!

The children of Israel was in slavery and groaning in pain and in hardship that Lord finally came for them.

Peter was proud of himself and Lord cannot use him. But he went through shame for denying JESUS with cursing and swearing that when JESUS looked at him, he was so remorseful that he cried!!! Lord restored him when He resurrected from dead that he became a bold preacher!!!

Personally, I am at a state that I am glad that I have Lord with me!!! Devil would like to put me paralyzed and dead but many a time, Lord prayed on my behalf and wake me up!!!

I thank Him He is my Emmanuel, God in me!!! Glory Glory!!!

That is why if He wants me to live, if God is for me, who can come against me???

He just let me experience this weakness Maybe I could understand others in similar situations in future healing service!!!

And you, if you didn't see me anymore, don't despair! It just a temporary missing in action!!!

After Lord told me so much about you, plus that spirit who impersonated you, I do feel for you for some reason!!! Take care!!!

(PS: Actually, there were 2 events that confirmed about you, Hagah and Sarah, plus a Big Bang above my ceiling just now, it's a triple confirmation of your love!!!)

Lord is the Master of the Whole Universe and in the Right Time, Right Moment, we shall meet again!!! Praise Jesus!!!

It's about Him and not about us!!! Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!

The Butterfly

I thank Lord Jesus, Messiah Y'shua, for the Finished Work He had Done on the Cross!!! Hallelujah!!! Amen Amen!!!

I might not know the moments and the things needed. But led by Him, He revealed the needful that whatsoever is needed will be completed!!! Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!

I might be ignorant to the hours but in His Completion, it shall be Done!!!

We, who accepted Christ, is already the Butterfly, fully transformed by the Resurrection Power in us and our Part is to agree and stand in line with the Word that said so!!! I am redeemed of the Lord!!!

The Glory of JESUS shall shine High!!! Hallelujah!!! Amen Amen!!! And I shall walk in the Fullness of Him!!! Hallelujah!!! Amen Amen!!!

Surely the World in Christ shall be blessed!!! Hallelujah!!!! Amen Amen!!!

The Birth of Christ had manifested in The Fullness of His Glory and the Transformation shall be Completed in Him!!! Hallelujah!!! Amen Amen!!!

A Thousand fall at the Side and 10 Thousands on His Right Hand and Nothing shall come near Him!!! Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!

Age between Spouse

Why would I originally called him old?

Recently looking at all my siblings, 2 married the same age spouse, I previously 1 year older, Su husband is 2 years older aka my age and only 2nd sis spouse is 4 years, the most senior among all of us!!!

That's why, when Lord 1st mentioned one that is over 50, it's not a norm among us!!! Also, all our ages are not so far apart, so when Lord mentioned one that is older than most of my brother-in-laws, I am clueless!!!

And the joke of it all was a cab driver that said he is 50 plus when he doesn't look that young to me!!! I take my 2nd brother-in-law as the marking for early 50s and he wasn't that old!!!

That is why there is an adjustment needed in my heart to accept such a man.

But in born, I am always craving for love and a equal or a slightly older would not cut it as they are equally needed that attention.

I knew a colleague whom previously had a older age American loving her. But as he looked much older than she wished to have, she married a local that ill-treated her. She was even too scared of leaving him!!!

Her church friend had to help her get out of him as this cold blooded man terrorised her so much that she was so afraid he might be out to get her!!!

With help, they finally divorced and she then cherished the love provided by the American!!! After so many years apart, he was still single and thinking about her!!!

She found him through the web and they were married many years now and I managed to call her once and she was so happy to be love by the man whom love her!!!

In the natural, I know to step into that path is a Big No No!!! From all those around him.

If anything is to happen, it's the Grace of God!!! For me to like an older man and for those around to agree to it!!! For him to move forward to reveal his love.

For me to turn back, I too need the Grace of God, to repair his emotional hurt so that he could open his heart to love again and for me to see through all that he had hurt me, and believe he won't do it all over again!!!

So both paths are equally hard for me to go ahead!!! So, let's see!!!

Thinking Aloud - Renewal

I was just complaining on this blog about how my ex did't appreciate me and what Lord promised to do on me that he disbelieved and went out to find younger women.

I didn't know that when he disbelieved and didn't even bother, it would capture another man's heart!!! Strong enough to do something about it!!!

Guess one man's poison is another man delicacy!!!

Through that spirit that talked to me, girls that were supplied in abundance to ex was from him!!! I guess there was a certain percentage of its truth as ex was supplied with so many that I was tired of praying delivance and gave up on him!!!

According to Lord, he saw the crack and took advantage of it!!!

What would I say?

In a way, I am glad to be out of that union. It's when I am out that I could see clearer than ever!!! It was a mismatch anyway!!!

In a way, it was a favour from him to his advantage eventually!!! He hoped so, I guess!!! But it was the Lord advice that I would take!!!

I'm kind of disappointed in that I believe characters should be the thing to look for but Lord said all men are eyeballs King!!! So no choice, I guess!!'

I don't know what kind of life had he been through that he thinks this married before woman is a lot better than those single and young!!! He rather wait for my renewal!!! Isn't this amazing!!!

I guess, he must have believed in Abraham's wife, Sarah's renewal that at 65 and 90, 2 Kings were attracted to her!!!

To let 2 kings forgot their queens and their kingdoms of girls, it must be quite a stunning renewal!!!

And this is happening to me!!! He rather awaits for the renewal even though I married before!!!

What Great Faith he has in this renewal!!! And he don't even bother he is getting old in the process!!!

In a way, I do admire his Great Faith in this Sarah's renewal!!! But at the same time, I rather he chooses me because of personality!!!

But whatever it is, Lord's healing through me is about renewal of youth too, so no problem about he getting old as he will be renewed to be young again if he really is a Christian in my church!!! Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!

At this point, I am not saying that the priority will be given to him!!! I am just saying, let's see!!!

Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!

To be Like Christ

If Lord trained me to be like Christ for 8 years and today I still run after money or power or status, Lord has failed in His Anointing!!!

Recently in the cab or in the other spirit, the temptation is about wealth and property and Authorities!!! If I mind all that, that means I am holding them more important than the Lord!!!

If till today I am still after all these things, Lord training in me is useless!!!

I guess those who are wondering why I like the one Lord picked for me. I trust by His Grace, the One He picked will match me perfectly and we will live together in Shalom Peace!!! This is my only Hope and Nothing else!!!

I don't know how wealthy or high position this person holds. The only reason I could think if He bless me such a person, then it's about he will not gone crazy over what Lord would bless me!!!

As I have been wondering if my partner to be is not trained and stretched like me, how is he able to remain saint in the Richness of Glory that He is blessing me?

But if what the spirit that test me about Wealth and Power revealed is what he is, then I will not need to worry about he will go crazy over money!!! Hallelujah!!!! Amen Amen!!!

Whatever it is, I believe Lord know what He is doing!!!!

It might not look Promising at this moment as my turning point has yet to come and the Door has yet to Open.

When everything is in place, it will leave nothing to guessing and everything will become clear!!!!

Till that day come, let's Rest in His Shalom Peace and not guess anymore!!!

Thank You Abba Father!!! Whatever You lead me through is surely Good!!!

Put Through Fire

How did God test man? He tested man by putting them through Fire!!! Seasons of Unfavorable conditions!!!

Why He needs to do that? Man, in good time you cannot see their real nature!!! The pleasantries cover their face!!!

It's how they reacted under pressure that the real nature of man is revealed!!!

I'm Glad that Lord let me see both their reactions and with that it's up to me what kind of treatment I choose to have with this different in personality when situation arise for an argument!!!

I am comfortable with both in good times!!! It's the choice of if argument arises, what kind of feedback I prefer!!! Glory Glory!!!

No wonder Lord told me it's not about one is better than the other as under the restored body, both will have no problem loving me!!!

I talked to both and surely both suits me perfectly in this area but one have an edge over the other!!!

So it's about knowing the other guy in reality to see the bigger picture of him!!!

In the resurrected body, I will make my choice carefully!!! Glory Glory!!!! Amen Amen!!!!

The Choice

Lord let me experienced spiritual communication with him whom love me these 2 days. The feeling is totally different from the Lord.

With Him, He always comforting and uplifting that I just need to receive!!! No wonder I feel something missing from here for me!!!

Now I know why Lord God creates woman for man. When woman comforts man, virtue is drawn out of her that she feels her role as a provider of comforts. She stands the role of comforter and uplifter.

No wonder God felt a lacking in Adam and created Eve for him!!! And through this love giving and responding, the desire of the body for need of each other is created.

This feeling of love and need to respond was never exited inbetween me and ex!!!

Ex was and still is a good provider of financial need. But without the need to give love and feel a need to draw from me, the emotional end is missing. The role of me as a woman for comforting and uplifting wasn't needed!!!

He hardly broke down as he is able to draw strength from himself to stay strong!!! The occasion of weakness in his life with me was even short lived!!!

I need not comfort him much in his fall and as such, the role of me as a provider of comfort and uplifting is not needed and no bodily desire was created!!!

Interesting that that's how God created man and woman to fall in love!!! There is power to draw from each other as Lord wanted us to learn to draw from Him!!!

Even financially well provided by ex, the self sufficient of himself made woman kind of redundant in his life!!! But he wants the end of the enjoyment without drawing the need of the woman!!!

As such, the body does not react the way he wanted. And the came together as man and wife became mechanic!!!

Interesting that this is the way Lord provides for man and woman to love each other!!!

That's why when couple over long periods of time get so used to their partner and no more drawing the need from each other, their sex life suffered!!!

I thank the Lord for this beautiful experience!!!

If and only if ex don't feel so strong and so self sufficiency, then returning to him will make the love cycle complete. But until that day comes, it is practically impossible to return to him. The need of me is not there!!!

Where else, when the need is there in the right portion of everything concern, the person made an overall attractiveness!!! And this does not mean appearance is that important!!! Appearance is secondary over the ability to provide the comfort and the uplifting!!!

I finally can see it clearly!!! Glory Glory!!!! Amen Amen!!!

No wonder we have to be vulnerable to be hurt to find Love!!!! Hallelujah!!! Amen Amen!!!

Forgiveness

I was asked this question recently that I think it is good to write about it here!!!

Paul was jealous for God and he Thought he was doing God's work when he went around Jerusalem rounding up the Christians, jailing them and killing them, just like what ISIS and the like had been doing to the innocent people. How to reconcile them to God?

Philippians 2:5-8
'For you must live in Harmony with yourselves, 
who are also in Messiah Y'shua,
Who was in Form of God, 
Yet Did Not Think Equality with God
Was to eagerly Clung to or Retained, 
But Emptied Himself of His own Equality,

Taking the form of a Servant,
When He came in a Likeness of men:
And when He was found as 
A Manner of Life as a Man,

He Humbled Himself, 
becoming Obedient until Death
Even of a Death of the Cross!' 

Philippians 2:12-16
'..you must continually work out your own Salvation
With Fear and Trembling (for the Awesome of God):

For God is the One who Works in you,
Both to Determine and to Work,
For His Good Pleasure. 

You must continually do everything 
without Grumbling or Argument,
So that you Would Become Blameless and Pure,
Children of God who cannot be censured in
Midst of a Crooked and Perverted Generation,

Among whom you Are to Shine like Stars in the World,
Presenting as a Message of Life,
For my Boasting in Day of Messiah, 

That I will not run in vain and I did not labor in vain.'

Lord Jesus was born as a baby to redeem man from birth! When we accepted JESUS, all our Sin is Rolled back to Adam, just as Johua led the Ark and the Israeli into the River Jodan, the water rolled back to town Adam!!!

There is No unforgiveness Sin in Christ Jesus!!! His Work at the Cross is Perfectly Finished and it is Completed!!! There is nothing more for man to work it out or carry the Burden of Sin and Destruction as He was Judged, Burned, Stripped for our Sake by the Judgment of God and the Holiness of God was Satisfied that He Sworn that He Would Not be Angry with you nor rebuke you!!!

So when you have accepted Christ Jesus, He has washed you with His Precious Blood of Jesus and This Sacrificing Lamb of God has washed you Whiter than Snow!!! Whom He has made Whole shall be Whole indeed!!! Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!

Look Over The Fence

I like to thank you for the second encounter!!! You did not know what effect it had on me!!!

Previously, as I looked to self, looking at my history, many a time, when I was letting my mind wonder and thinking about my future, I was thinking that of all situations, going back to ex and let the family reunited again might be the best solution!!!

As by this decision I won't have a bad record as everything is back to previous.

The image of being divorced and having a daughter, even though she is not under my care and control is not easy to carry!!!

Each time I walked up the counter, being addressed as my girl's mother, and knowing you were watching me from behind, it was like all the bad feelings I had for being a divorcée, was washed away layers by layers!!!

It was like the lady whom laid on her back to earn her 1 year salary to buy that perfume to pour on Lord Jesus!!! As she anointed Lord Jesus for His Eventual Burial, her sins were being washed away!!!

It has a purifying effect on me!!! All my guilt of the divorce status was eventually cleared away fully!!! Glory Glory!!!

Based on the service guy asking me to stand on a certain position and even when I sent only my daughter but he wanted me to be there, I know he got his instructions from someone behind me.

The fact that you enjoyed me gives me the confidence I need to walk out of that fence that trapped me!!! That's why I said it's not about what others mind or not. But if you mind!!!

I don't know eventually we will be together or not, but at this point in time, I just want to say, Thank you!!!

That Look

Two Sunday ago, the man that freezed into eternity, looking at me for about a good 10 seconds of his precious time, I was clueless and my mind was blank as I looked at him.

It was not exactly anger nor unhappy!!! But that look produced lots of question marks in me. What have I done???

If I by not doing anything consciously can caused something to happen, was it my fault???

I had been clueless and cast it aside as I don't understand.

Today, Lord revealed the behind scenes to me!!!

Frankly, looking at them from afar, they and me are world apart!!! We have no business with each other at all!!!

But, this man from their brotherhood, has an effect on me. That could only happens by the Grace of The Lord!!! Nothing I do can cause anything!!! It's All His Plan, not me!!! I don't even know him!!!

By giving me that look, in a way he is Honouring me unintentionally!!! But it is not a welcome thingy!!! I do not appreciate it!!! The fault is not mine to pick!!!

But I appreciate the man for thinking highly of me!!! This also by the Grace of The Lord!!! Not that I deserve it!!!

It could only happen when The Lord lifts me up and give me a new Platform to stand on and restored my Youth to that of compatibility. Even so it is still by the Grace of The Lord.

For it is true I was married once and I do have a daughter!!! This is part of the History of my Life and it cannot be deny!!!

It's just like Ruth and Boaz, everything is permissible but if it is Good? This, Time will tell!!!

At this point, I am not making any decision how the 2 Paths ahead of me, which would I take in the End!!! Even though Lord has point the Way!

When the Time is ripe, we shall see!!! Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!

Filth

I was just into finding out what Jolien Blanc and the like was doing out there that I watch a few of the YouTube videos on this topic.

God commanded man to have fun, reproduce and fill the world but looking at what they did is down right ugly and filthy!!!

They are rise by the devil to confuse girl's intellectual and to talk their talk so as to get them at themselves and make a fool out of them either emotionally or physically!!! It is down right from the pit of hell!!!

As the End Time is almost here, devil is trying all sorts of ways to destroy the concept of couples, family unit!!! Their aim is to destroy girls in their game and supremacy!!! And they called that their achievements and even took video of them doing it to show to people that pay to listen to their filth!!!

There are YouTube videos that shows young man going out to play a trick and get a kiss from girls but at least they asked the girls and it's a more straight forward request!!!

But what JB and the likes are doing is about stealing a physical connection from the girls without their consent!!! It's a disrespect to the female spies!!!

Jesus is returning and I hope all these evil will come to an end!!!

Good that Singapore and other countries are blocking them from entering the country!!! Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!

Love

No wonder Lord, The God of Love, told me that I do not know what is True Love!!!

Based on the 2 encounters I had with him, it is definitely a total different kind of feeling!!!

The initial meeting of ex, there won't even have the slightness of Shyness in me at all!!! It was like a pretty normal meeting with someone that I could get along. There was happiness but not a bit of excitement at all. Pretty normal!!!

But the first meeting with him, where out of sudden Lord mentioned 'Your Husband', I was so embarrassed that I hope to find a place to hide and immediately after service I tried to run.

The 2nd meeting, there was an element of excitement or anxiety that I suppressed so as to behave normal. It a knowing that someone is looking but at the same time tried to ignore it!!!

Somehow what transmitted from his heart led me to react in that way emotionally!!! Even physically no visual impact for me!!!

It is so different when someone express the feeling from the heart that talks!!! No wonder in Heaven the talking is heart to heart with a knowing and not from opening the mouth from those who visited.

A heart who talks differs from one that is dead and void, which talked nothing!!!

Interesting!!!

Wealth

When I checked my most viewed posting, it is the post on Blessing of Deuteronomy 28 that got the highest view, about 1000 more views on it than the next popular post!

So I guess a lot of people wants to be wealthy!!! Especially Lord has given King Solomon so much till he said they are chaff in the wind!!! Meaningless!!!

My Beloved Father in Heaven is a very rich God!!! The path in Heaven is built with Gold and the river is Crystal River!!! He planted diamonds, precious stones, gold and silver and all kinds of treasure for us to seek, He is rich!!!

If He is so rich, why Christians are not as rich as Abraham or even Isaac and so on?

You just need to go to the bible to find the answer!!!

Did King Solomon, Abraham or even Isaac looking for wealth??? No, they won't!!! Their heart is with God and God blessed them!!!

We see that wherever Lord Jesus went, plentiful is created!!! So Lord Jesus is the Miracle Creator through the Holy Spirit in Unlimited!!!

How can we be like Him???

It's very simple! Get to know Jesus through sermons revealing Him and get to know how Good God is!!!

When you have Good Opinion of Him and want to know Him, Lord, the Holy Spirit will lead you through a journey to know Him!!!

Just like the journey to Emmaus,
Luke 24:27
'And Beginning with Moses and with All the Prophets, He explained to them with All the Writings concerning Himself.'

I was just an ordinary housewife when I heard about Lord want to bless us. We are to walk with Him and to agree with Him on His Plan to Glorify His Son Lord Jesus!!!

So I prayed for the Name of Jesus to be Glorified to the 4 corners of the World, North, South, East West!!!

I just agreed with What was preached through Pastor Prince and Lord blessed me sermons from last 14 years for me to swallow all of them and believe fully.

Then when He knows my belly is full from the consumption of Him, He asked me to finish the bible and then to meditate verse by verse, the full bible.

As I obey His Commandment and by His Grace empowerment, I finished reading The Bible and got to know Him better. Then I started this Personal relationship with Him through meditating the bible and let Him train me step by step.

The building up of me is to letting go of me step by step till He take over Me and Be Me!!!!

Just like the River as you get deeper, you could only trust The Lord to finish the walk for you!!! As the current that come against is just too much to handle!!!

But He promise end of the path is the pot of Gold that many hope to get Without the training!!!

Why Lord need me to be nothingness in Him? Many things in the world wants self, ego, pride to go for it but it is empty promises!!!!

Even if one landed with large amount of money but without training, this amount come easy and go easy!!! Proven by the British girl that inherit millions from her parents!!! It was gone in a couple of years!!!

We cannot afford to go crazy with money!!!

The only way is to be humbled in The Lord and let Him shines and leads. As money has no hold on you, no matter how big the amount is, you won't have much concern and money loose it control over you!!!

It is with this that one can remain cool and collect, as normal as one is. And live a blessed life with nothing to hold you hostage and be free and Peaceful!!! Glory Glory!!!

Ambition

Man with ego and pride would like their Name to reign even after they are gone. But, in God's economy, it's the simple things that speaks for ages!!!

Who would think by sitting at Jesus feet listening to Him would let Mary be praised by Lord Jesus and be written in the bible that every nations that got the bible will read about SHE, did the One Thing needful!!!!

It's the Grace and Mercy of God that her Praises was recorded as an Honour of Lord Jesus!!! As she Honour Him, she was Honoured by Him forever!!! Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!

The old lady that gave all that she had, the one coin, was used to challenge everyone of us who is proud of own effort, would you do any better than her? The 100% tithing.

Even the 10%, there are those who would use the bible to say not applicable to Today's World or in the Old but not in the New Testament!!!

I, myself, was once convicted by her to open my heart and be willing and gladly tithe!!!!

Lord has been Faithful in return!!!

There are men and women of God ever since Christianity is started with the Crucifixion of Jesus at the Cross, throughout the centuries! Those who dare to trust in The Lord and let Him used their body as His Temple of God, till today church history, their life story still the talk of churches!!!

People can tried to make a Name for themselves, but it those who trust in The Lord and let the Holy Spirit lead them to do the Work of The Lord by His Supply of Abundance of Grace, are those that remain in the mouth of preachers even after they were long gone!!!

Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!

Salvation

Many a time, I do hope Lord Jesus will show to those who disbelieve that He is real but I guess, He knows who needs what to bring them close to Him!!!

Lord led me to watch Kim Clement service, which they did flashback on prophesies he had done on the past months!!!

I am glad the 7 years of lack is ending on Thanks Giving 2014. He said next will be the 7 years of Harvest, just like Joseph story in Egypt in the bible!!!

Another interest phophesy by him is ISIS. He said they are going to have a Darmascus experience just like Paul in the Bible.

Paul went around Ancient Israel killing Christians and jailing them. He was on his Way to capture more Christian when Lord Jesus appeared to question him why he was killing His People!!! Lord promised to do the same to ISIS and I am happy.

I also watched Perry Stone Blood Moon sermon that he said what to look out to see if this is a normal cycle or there is more to it!!! Supposed to have water from the sea and from the sky aka disasters to know it is the pain of the final moment of the pregnancy and if signs is happening frequently, then it is about Jesus returning!!! Glory Glory!!' Amen Amen!!!

After these 2 sermons, I am sure Lord Jesus coming again is very near!!! Hallelujah!!! Amen Amen!!!

Peace!

Glory Glory!!! Hallelujah!!!! All these confessing here is good to my soul!!!

I am now at peace with myself and not looking for any man to fill my soul anymore!!! What I let go Lord really removed from my heart and it is Peace in my Heart!!!

All the Turmoil of who should I have eventually is thrown away for good!!! Hallelujah!!!!

The disposal that I did here for both, really good to me internally!!! I don't care if I will be alone or not!!! Practically I am comfortable with myself just as I am now. Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!

All the excess baggage Lord totally cleared fully off my Head and my Mind that I am at Peace with Him!!! Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!

I will concentrate on doing His Will and that's all I will focus from now on. Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!!

Abused?

This evening mediate is the saddest for me.

There was once my mum ever told me, "you were the happiest kid when you were young, but now it's not with you anymore!!!" After I heard it, I didn't know how to answer her too!!!

I looked at my younger days photo and I always had a smile on my face but looking at myself, that smile is gone!!!

Tonight, Lord reveal the years of tolerating to ex, has mould me down to nothingness!!! It's like for the sake of peace, I let him had his way and in the process, I lost myself till I don't know how to get that smile back to my life!!!

Tonight, Lord reveal that even his mum he also took advantage, other woman, he won't respect much, too selfish for me to take him back!

Yes, in this quietness of living for 10 months, without Jc coming here and thus not seeing him and talking to him, I found stressed and super negative feeling when I encountered him at his home and the recent 2 communications. It was so negative that I felt like vomit blood talking to him!!!

This quietness let me experience the difference!!! Previously I was so used to the way he talk that I did not feel so!!!

It seem like a lot undoing need to be done!!! Oh My Abba!!!!!

In this end of test, Lord is finally talking about my life more clearly!!!

He said He will send a man to lead me back to my natural self again!!!

I thank Abba is such a Kind and Loving God!!! Without Him, I don't know how lost I am. I thank Holy Spirit for taking Good Care of me!!! I thank Lord Jesus for the Finished Work that surely through Him, all my lacks will be fully be restored again!!! Amen Amen!!!

I thank Lord for letting me think He is reconciling me with ex to surface all those negative feeling out from the deepest of my heart!!! Glory to Jesus!!! Amen Amen!!!

Reconcilation

After a Big Hoo Haa of I am with who and who, the High Wave of excitement, all for the purpose of test, Holy Spirit finally quiet down to tell me that He is bringing me back to ex!!!

I was looking for someone who could really love me and Holy Spirit is saying back to P, My Grace is enough to make it work!!!

Without all those curses and women, the relationship with him is already bad enough. With those added things, his heart automatically discard me for others!!! I experienced that when a man doesn't love anymore, no amount of words can convince him.

But Lord, My Father in Heaven, is saying go back to him, thing will work out for you!!! Even though I know His Miracle Hand, somehow, I am not interested!!! But if He said so, I will not say no!!!

In a way, it was a disappointed answer I had, trusting Him for a Fresh New Life, away from him but in the end, no more hope to hold on. That's how disappointed I am.

Especially after what I had been through with him, is like Lord must do a 180 deg change in P that he will become so in love with me!!!

What Holy Spirit holds me to him is a feeling I had for his mother, his family!!! This is the part Lord never let me let go!!!

Every time he went back, his mum will let him have her bed and her room. She herself slept by the sofa chair!!! This is her love for this precious son that hardly visited her!!! But he does call her a couple of times around the year.

He knows she loves him but he planned for university in the far north and told her only a day before departure!!!

She continued to show love by sending his Favourite meatballs to him. Then he move further East ward and eventually to Singapore!!! He said Sweden too cold!!! Zero deg Celcius is normal day and winter is harshest  -40 deg.

Lord said He is going to redeem all these situation that the mum will get to see him more!!!

He impressed me to build a house, when I am blessed so eventual return need not take her room anymore!!!

I like his mum in a weird way! Maybe because she never interfere in her sons relationships!!! She has enough respect to their life that this is not seen here!!! Where wife complaints about mother-in-law problem!!!

Being a mother, I understands her better and could understand why she loves her son so much!!!

Anyway, I look forward to meeting her again. Surely things will work out and everything will be good again!!! Hallelujah!!! Amen Amen!!!

An Apology

This post is an apology to all the men I wrote in this blog!!! I sincerely apologise to the emotional ups and downs you went through while reading this blog!!! I am Sorry!!!

Lord Knows that I trusted Him fully and He has used various persons to test me to my core limits!!! And this is possible only with man if it is to affect my emotional level to the core of it all!!!

At the point of Tests, I really really believed He was pairing me with someone out there!!! Even in the reality of the persons to make the story believeable by me!!! I was so convinced and thus have to make a decision of myself. This is the part of the test that He, My Lord, is aiming!!!

With each Tests, my life is refined to be more Nothingness of myself and Full of Trusting to Him alone!!! He is Pleasing that I Listened to His Commandment and Believe in All that He had for me and my Willingness to accomplish the given task!!!

In the process, I guess you saw it and you believe too!!! Especially you have seen me, many of you!!! Will think what craziness gone through this plain, nothing to talk about lady!!! I apologized that your emotion was affected!!! I pray for the Shalom Peace that comes from the Prince of Peace to be with you in the Name of Jesus!!!

At each stage of the turn of the River, I just walk in Faith and let Him Light the Way for me.

I am at this point, every Glory I give to Him and I do not partake of the Glory!!! It belongs to the Lamb of God and His Grace and Mercy pushing me along!!!

It had many hard decisions to make especially the most trying test and I did stress over the decision I have to make even it was a clear path to choose!!!

That's why you saw a humble me walking around most of the time!!! I am without self but Full of The Lord that in that condition you touches me, a shudder happened because it was The Lord you are touching!!!

Well, tests is never easy but it wasn't that difficult too!!! Most of the time is a decision to make and a willingness to commit!!!

At this point of emptiness, I like to thank you all who walk with me through the test!!! Many of you I know by sight but I don't know who you are!!! But you played a great part in my tests and I thank you very much!!!!

Hallelujah!!! Amen Amen