On Tuesday, while waiting for my girl again, I talked to Sn about the man Lord is blessing me. Sn eyes open big when I said he is a younger version of H's brother. Her brother is a prominent person in TCS with nice personality. He is going through divorce because wife is too spendthrift, buying lots of diamonds and real pearl etc. This is what H said.
On hearing that my future man is a younger version of H's brother, Sn immediately said 'wah, can buy diamond!' haha...I never think of that, I am thinking more of a caring, loving man to love me. As it sounded too good to be truth, Sn asked me if I did hear correctly from the Lord. As I don't know anyone facing such case, my doubt rise a bit.
Lord, who is presence is in all his children is faithful. He get Su to think of why the moment P, my husband, told the lawyer I am from NCC, the lawyer immediately added another 2 paragraph against me. Su smsed the permanent staff in charged of the faith kidz about this. From SL, she said many New Creationers got divorced and Lord blessed them a new spouse. She said I should follow the Lord's leading and go ahead with the divorce. We were surprised that many spouses divorce their partners just because of the believe in NCC teaching. We checked with Lord and He revealed 200 of such case!
That lawyer must have handled quite a few such case and the moment New Creation Church is mentioned, he goes ah....
Looking back the past 10 years, all the problems I faced, even fear, I had to face it myself, with no support from P. The only comment from P was..my imagination!!! That is why hard to get him believe that Christ is God.
Another thing that shocked me was this: In the early part of marriage, when I find we are like 2 individuals, I did find a online marriage counsel site and asked P to go read it, as relationship is t 2 person response and not 1. I wanted to work it out with him. He rejected saying all that is there he knows. Recently I asked if he ever visited that site. He said he did read one page and it's all that he knows. But as he Thinks that I will not do it, he give up even trying. When he told me that, I was speechless. I referred him the site as I wanted to improve our relationship but he assumed that I wouldn't want to try and gave it up. I am really speechless!!!
Now that with 10 years of individual life, except financial and sexual area satisfied, there is nothing much worth mentioning. All these years is about demanding each other to satisfy the other party something. At this point I don't want to say who demand more or who submit more. It's time to call it off. I am glad that I walk this ending path with the Lord.
With prayers, He has already preserved someone since10 years ago for me. He said that if I am to meet him 10 years ago, he is not suitable for me. But with this 10 years of modification, we are just right for each other. Glory that 10 years ago, P and me, our thoughts are pretty similar and shared many areas in easy decisions. The next 100 years, with this 10 years experience, I could find another better man that suits me.
Abba father, thank You for loving me so much! By the Grace of Lord Jesus, You are giving me a man that could love me and let me bath in his love and your love. Glory Glory! Amen Amen!
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Christ the Redeemer
Yesterday, while waiting for my girl to finish her Chinese enrichment class, I was talking to her school mate's mum, Sn. Sn has a bad marriage too. In the sense she was kind of blur blur married to this husband of hers while her heart was for another. She said she has been ignoring her man all these while. We were talking about different in culture. Comparing ours and H, the blessed lady that was 60s but look around 40s if don't look carefully.
Sn was saying that for the sake of her son, she just let loveless marriage drift. H has actually separated from her husband, but under the law, they are still husband and wife. She did tell us how badly she was treated in her younger days by her husband.
I was telling Sn, in our culture, even though the marriage can be unhappy, most of us just tolerate the unhappiness and let the years drift past. For me, I am glad that I walked closely to the Lord. Through the past 9 years, there were tell tales signs that something was missing from my marriage.
The first time I flew to hubby's country to visit him, there was a company function and he let me joined them. That night, after the dinner, they were still gather around to drink, I saw hubby (was my boyfriend then) walked away to where the secretary was. He hugged and kissed her. I thought that was their culture and never think much of it.
In our early years of marriage, there was once my German girl friend dropped by to stay in our home for a couple of days. She was plump but had a sexy body. After shower, she would wrap a towel around her body and walked into her room. Hubby was very friendly towards her and neglected me. I was wondering why.
He was looking at girls on the street and in internet, I thought that's men usual instinct and I let him too. All these while, I didn't realise that he marry me for other reason. As I meditated, Lord revealed that he marry me because I was sexy previously. Yes, I did have a good figure previously that after knowing hubby and was happy and eating much, I had grown fatter. 2 of my male colleagues told me to be careful of my body. I asked hubby then, but at that time, he said I was not fat. So, I thought he didn't bother much about my body.
I was leading my own life facing the pc nightly as he did it too. Both of us was glued to pc all these years. These was how Lord explained of our marriage breakdown:
Lord:
'After Jc was born, she stick so closely to you. P was left alone. He tried to be a good father. You 2 quarrel of disagreement. The growing years of Jc, both of you have nothing to talk. When your mental health get worst, he distanced from you. Fly was like a relief for him from this stressful home. That is why he is closed to him.
Your 3 years of disturbance, he could not understands. You into 3 years of walking with me, he lagi don't understand the lingo you talk. He lost you long ago. Too far away to patch back. That is why, I suggest you drop him for another godly man.'
In recent meditation, Lord revealed that he was only interested in my body, not me. No wonder all these years of putting other girls/friends more important than me. Lord said that in future, when He slim me down for His Glory, P might want me back again. Lord told me not to U-turn. He told me that he don't love me as ME!
Praise the Lord that I have Abba. He is finding a man that could love me as who I am for me. He even said that I am his true love and vice versa. I din know that in this world, there is still someone, who is my true love. Lord said He preserved him for me. Glory Glory! Even I had stepped into my 40, Lord did not let me go in despair. He actually preserved this man for 42 years for me. Glory Glory!
Lord revealed that we are going to be a stunting pair on our wedding. How can I not get excited? Lord is doing a big overhaul on me and I am excited to see the end result. Glory Glory! Lord has planned how am I to meet this new man, and he will be there to make sure we fall in love, have great sex and loving marriage. Lord said that this new man will love me so much that his abundance love overflow into me that I could love him back. Lord revealed that our love will be sweeter than honey. Glory Glory!
Lord Jesus, thank you that YOU are my Great Redeemer! I need not go into old age as an old hag, all because you have redeemed the curse of old age. Thank You that Lord, you are renewing my body to be 20 years old forever. Glory Glory!
PS: Praise the Lord! He opened my eyes to see my husband clearer that he never love me. All these years of giving in to him freely.
Sn was saying that for the sake of her son, she just let loveless marriage drift. H has actually separated from her husband, but under the law, they are still husband and wife. She did tell us how badly she was treated in her younger days by her husband.
I was telling Sn, in our culture, even though the marriage can be unhappy, most of us just tolerate the unhappiness and let the years drift past. For me, I am glad that I walked closely to the Lord. Through the past 9 years, there were tell tales signs that something was missing from my marriage.
The first time I flew to hubby's country to visit him, there was a company function and he let me joined them. That night, after the dinner, they were still gather around to drink, I saw hubby (was my boyfriend then) walked away to where the secretary was. He hugged and kissed her. I thought that was their culture and never think much of it.
In our early years of marriage, there was once my German girl friend dropped by to stay in our home for a couple of days. She was plump but had a sexy body. After shower, she would wrap a towel around her body and walked into her room. Hubby was very friendly towards her and neglected me. I was wondering why.
He was looking at girls on the street and in internet, I thought that's men usual instinct and I let him too. All these while, I didn't realise that he marry me for other reason. As I meditated, Lord revealed that he marry me because I was sexy previously. Yes, I did have a good figure previously that after knowing hubby and was happy and eating much, I had grown fatter. 2 of my male colleagues told me to be careful of my body. I asked hubby then, but at that time, he said I was not fat. So, I thought he didn't bother much about my body.
I was leading my own life facing the pc nightly as he did it too. Both of us was glued to pc all these years. These was how Lord explained of our marriage breakdown:
Lord:
'After Jc was born, she stick so closely to you. P was left alone. He tried to be a good father. You 2 quarrel of disagreement. The growing years of Jc, both of you have nothing to talk. When your mental health get worst, he distanced from you. Fly was like a relief for him from this stressful home. That is why he is closed to him.
Your 3 years of disturbance, he could not understands. You into 3 years of walking with me, he lagi don't understand the lingo you talk. He lost you long ago. Too far away to patch back. That is why, I suggest you drop him for another godly man.'
In recent meditation, Lord revealed that he was only interested in my body, not me. No wonder all these years of putting other girls/friends more important than me. Lord said that in future, when He slim me down for His Glory, P might want me back again. Lord told me not to U-turn. He told me that he don't love me as ME!
Praise the Lord that I have Abba. He is finding a man that could love me as who I am for me. He even said that I am his true love and vice versa. I din know that in this world, there is still someone, who is my true love. Lord said He preserved him for me. Glory Glory! Even I had stepped into my 40, Lord did not let me go in despair. He actually preserved this man for 42 years for me. Glory Glory!
Lord revealed that we are going to be a stunting pair on our wedding. How can I not get excited? Lord is doing a big overhaul on me and I am excited to see the end result. Glory Glory! Lord has planned how am I to meet this new man, and he will be there to make sure we fall in love, have great sex and loving marriage. Lord said that this new man will love me so much that his abundance love overflow into me that I could love him back. Lord revealed that our love will be sweeter than honey. Glory Glory!
Lord Jesus, thank you that YOU are my Great Redeemer! I need not go into old age as an old hag, all because you have redeemed the curse of old age. Thank You that Lord, you are renewing my body to be 20 years old forever. Glory Glory!
PS: Praise the Lord! He opened my eyes to see my husband clearer that he never love me. All these years of giving in to him freely.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
My Father
Glory Glory, My Father, Abba Father is such a caring daddy. These few days, he keeps on encouraging me and revealing me of the new guy to me. It's a comfort that he is always here for me. One thing he revealed to me was I never been loved before. I don't know what true love is. He said this new guy will surely shower me with love that I do not regret leaving P.
Yesterday, I was pondering what true love is. What I am missing out with P. I was at mum place and my siblings and most of their spouses were there. As I observed different couples, finally, I got the answer. All these years, especially those time when we had no trouble with Jc, I was thinking there was something missing from the relationship between me and P. I voiced out to P, but he didn't know what's the thing missing too.
As we both cannot pin point the area of lack, I just let this feeling drifted on. When I see, especially my eldest brother-in-law cares for his family and helping my eldest sis caring the youngest son and having his cares on each of his family members, I see the answer. All these years, if I have a problem and shared with P, surely he will provide me a solution. However, beside I approached him, the cares, emotional cares and share, was kind of missing. He is always at his corner. In front of the pc or at the rare occasion at my mum place, he would just sit there. I had to approached him to see what he wanted and what he needed.
As I see clearer and clearer of this union, I am glad that finally, it is coming to an end. Actually, P and Su's hubby, HL, were the same in this area of loving the family. They both lacks parental love in their growing years. As such, don't know how to give love. But praise the Lord! HL have Jesus and Lord has already changed him to a loving hubby. As for P, even though Lord has bring down his hardness these few years, he still strongly disbelieve in the Lord. As such, Lord could not change him at all.
In fact, Lord has revealed that he might come back to Him 20 years later. No point for me to suffer in this union for another 20 years. In fact, I asked him, if I do not ask for divorce, what would he does, he said he will separate from me for 3-4 years then get the divorce. Lord foresee it and ask me to ask him for the divorce. Glory Glory to Lord Jesus! Every step of my life he is leading me closely and blessing me in each step. Hallelujah!
Last night, as I look at P, I kind of feel he look aged, Lord revealed that since he is divorcing me, his shield of protection over him is gone. He now face the curse that is present in the ground. The blessing of renewal of age was gone. Sad...
Abba father is a very excited God. Just imagine, for this healing career, he revealed to me 2+ years ago. So it is not surprising that about my future man, He is so excited too. He has revealed about the proposal and how he wants our wedding decoration will be. He has even revealed that my next girl, Elisa, is the blessing of this new union. Abba is blessing me in the 1st year of our union. Glory Glory! Haha, such a loving Father, won't you like to know him well? Hallelujah! Amen Amen!
Yesterday, I was pondering what true love is. What I am missing out with P. I was at mum place and my siblings and most of their spouses were there. As I observed different couples, finally, I got the answer. All these years, especially those time when we had no trouble with Jc, I was thinking there was something missing from the relationship between me and P. I voiced out to P, but he didn't know what's the thing missing too.
As we both cannot pin point the area of lack, I just let this feeling drifted on. When I see, especially my eldest brother-in-law cares for his family and helping my eldest sis caring the youngest son and having his cares on each of his family members, I see the answer. All these years, if I have a problem and shared with P, surely he will provide me a solution. However, beside I approached him, the cares, emotional cares and share, was kind of missing. He is always at his corner. In front of the pc or at the rare occasion at my mum place, he would just sit there. I had to approached him to see what he wanted and what he needed.
As I see clearer and clearer of this union, I am glad that finally, it is coming to an end. Actually, P and Su's hubby, HL, were the same in this area of loving the family. They both lacks parental love in their growing years. As such, don't know how to give love. But praise the Lord! HL have Jesus and Lord has already changed him to a loving hubby. As for P, even though Lord has bring down his hardness these few years, he still strongly disbelieve in the Lord. As such, Lord could not change him at all.
In fact, Lord has revealed that he might come back to Him 20 years later. No point for me to suffer in this union for another 20 years. In fact, I asked him, if I do not ask for divorce, what would he does, he said he will separate from me for 3-4 years then get the divorce. Lord foresee it and ask me to ask him for the divorce. Glory Glory to Lord Jesus! Every step of my life he is leading me closely and blessing me in each step. Hallelujah!
Last night, as I look at P, I kind of feel he look aged, Lord revealed that since he is divorcing me, his shield of protection over him is gone. He now face the curse that is present in the ground. The blessing of renewal of age was gone. Sad...
Abba father is a very excited God. Just imagine, for this healing career, he revealed to me 2+ years ago. So it is not surprising that about my future man, He is so excited too. He has revealed about the proposal and how he wants our wedding decoration will be. He has even revealed that my next girl, Elisa, is the blessing of this new union. Abba is blessing me in the 1st year of our union. Glory Glory! Haha, such a loving Father, won't you like to know him well? Hallelujah! Amen Amen!
Friday, July 17, 2009
The Living God
I am so glad to be found by Abba. Without him, I don't know how am I going to go through this divorce. Abba is such a great God in me. When P were into his night outing, led by Fly, and hurting P, and I am in my anger over it, Lord shared my anger and he is Exodus 23:22 'I will be an enemy to your enemies and will oppose those who oppose you'. Amen Amen!
When P walk out of this marriage, Lord told me of his intended divorce to get me prepared months ahead. I went through a few rounds of cry, but each round of despair, I grew stronger in the Lord that this final round, I was only very sad yesterday. I prayed to Abba to clear my brain and my heart of everything about hubby. Last night, all of those night out of hubby was out of my memory. I could hug him over the neck and talk to him peacefully. I still have some desire for him that I was hugging him and caressing him.
This morning, upon awake, I prayed to Lord to remove all my feelings, emotions from my heart and memory. Early days of knowing him thoughts flew into me as I started my prayer walk. Upon reaching the end of the road, before u-turn back, I felt as if I had walked out this marriage bondage, all of it was as if have left behind me forever. I am now in my peace in the Lord.
Abba is very good. He does not let me despair about the future. He revealed that he is blessing me the man of my dream, one that would match me nicely. He is someone of high position and has good features. Wow, Lord Jesus redemption is always better than the original. Lord revealed he has higher income and have good nature. Surely I will like him. Such a good temptation from the Lord, I am happy with the life he planned for me. Lord promised that this man will walk with me this 100 years with the Lord. Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
Initially, Lord revealed that hubby will die of Aids 5 years down the road from current activities. I felt pity for hubby. He is such a nice guy after all. We might have mismatch marriage, but he always provides me with good life in material sense. I have no lack living with him. Glory to the Goodness of Lord Jesus.
Now that we are parting, I don't want him to waste his life dying in a foreign country. I pray to Lord to let this overflowing Abraham blessing flow to him, to bless him with a good lady so that he could enjoy his life after this divorce. Abba agrees and is blessing him a matching lady for him to lead a happy life too. Abba is so good, His Grace and Mercy is so abundance! Amen Amen!
I am grateful that Abba take such good care of me, hubby and Jc. He make sure our life is good, even after divorce. He said Jc will have 2 set of parents to shower her with love. Glory Glory! Life with Lord is so wonderful. Even in mistakes, Lord makes it flourish and makes it good.
Abba, my abba, you are the BEST father I desire. I am so pleased to have you in my life. Glory Glory! Amen Amen!
When P walk out of this marriage, Lord told me of his intended divorce to get me prepared months ahead. I went through a few rounds of cry, but each round of despair, I grew stronger in the Lord that this final round, I was only very sad yesterday. I prayed to Abba to clear my brain and my heart of everything about hubby. Last night, all of those night out of hubby was out of my memory. I could hug him over the neck and talk to him peacefully. I still have some desire for him that I was hugging him and caressing him.
This morning, upon awake, I prayed to Lord to remove all my feelings, emotions from my heart and memory. Early days of knowing him thoughts flew into me as I started my prayer walk. Upon reaching the end of the road, before u-turn back, I felt as if I had walked out this marriage bondage, all of it was as if have left behind me forever. I am now in my peace in the Lord.
Abba is very good. He does not let me despair about the future. He revealed that he is blessing me the man of my dream, one that would match me nicely. He is someone of high position and has good features. Wow, Lord Jesus redemption is always better than the original. Lord revealed he has higher income and have good nature. Surely I will like him. Such a good temptation from the Lord, I am happy with the life he planned for me. Lord promised that this man will walk with me this 100 years with the Lord. Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
Initially, Lord revealed that hubby will die of Aids 5 years down the road from current activities. I felt pity for hubby. He is such a nice guy after all. We might have mismatch marriage, but he always provides me with good life in material sense. I have no lack living with him. Glory to the Goodness of Lord Jesus.
Now that we are parting, I don't want him to waste his life dying in a foreign country. I pray to Lord to let this overflowing Abraham blessing flow to him, to bless him with a good lady so that he could enjoy his life after this divorce. Abba agrees and is blessing him a matching lady for him to lead a happy life too. Abba is so good, His Grace and Mercy is so abundance! Amen Amen!
I am grateful that Abba take such good care of me, hubby and Jc. He make sure our life is good, even after divorce. He said Jc will have 2 set of parents to shower her with love. Glory Glory! Life with Lord is so wonderful. Even in mistakes, Lord makes it flourish and makes it good.
Abba, my abba, you are the BEST father I desire. I am so pleased to have you in my life. Glory Glory! Amen Amen!
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
The Glory of Lord Jesus II
In these 9 months of training, walking through darkness and see him waving his muscles at me. Yes, I cried, I was despaired, I was sad, very sad, very heart broken.
Then I remembered I am a Child of God, why should I let devil lead me to such despair! I then come back to Lord, to stand on his words, to believe in his deliverance.
As I stand on the words of Jesus and meditated and worshiped Lord to get my peace, devil dipped hubby from one pot of dirty pit to another. Each stage to want me to fall into his trap and look to his evilness. Purposely, I did not want to bother about him. Purposely, I come against him with the words of Christ and looking to Christ, on what Lord Jesus had completed for me and not to the dirt of devil
As I stand stronger on the word of Christ, devil dipped hubby into dirtier pit. It's a spiritual warfare, between me standing strong on words of Christ, believing him and devil lead hubby by the nose to more mess. Main purpose to hit me down. Purposely, I refuse to give up hope. I decided to look even stronger on Jesus finished work at the cross and the risen Christ sitting at throne in Heaven.
Glory Glory! Lord give me his Peace, His Prince of Peace stays with me and uphold me. Hallelujah!
Devil thought that by revealing what most wife fear, I would kowtow to him. Haha...he did not know I know the Almighty God, my Abba Father is the BIG Mountain behind me. Surely he will save me from fowler's snare and deadly pestilence. His Faithfulness is my shield and rampart.
Last night, I asked Lord, 'why hubby so shitty and you still want me to keep him?'. Through this, I could see the spiritual warfare clearly. Main purpose of devil work is to break this family and bring me down so that I could not serve Abba Father.
Abba Father blessings is for all his children to have love, joy and peace family unit. If I leave hubby, it means devil win this battle. I let him affects me. With this understanding, finally, I could look at the spiritual warfare clearly!
Man is weak, whatever devil dumped on them they themselves have no ability to get out. But Lord Jesus done a Perfect Work at the Cross and His Blood cleanses away all of devil shit. His cleansing is so good that men are made whiter than snow! Glory Glory!
With this, in the midst of morning praying in the spirit, Lord showed me a very clean and neat hubby. Glory Glory! I know this final deliverance is just as good. Jesus work is always good. Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Amen Amen!
Update 16/7/09:
Since hubby expressed great hatred for Christianity, Lord said there is no way to bring him back to him. As such, it's the end of our relationship. Lord is blessing me a godly man after the divorce. Yet to start the divorce process though.
Then I remembered I am a Child of God, why should I let devil lead me to such despair! I then come back to Lord, to stand on his words, to believe in his deliverance.
As I stand on the words of Jesus and meditated and worshiped Lord to get my peace, devil dipped hubby from one pot of dirty pit to another. Each stage to want me to fall into his trap and look to his evilness. Purposely, I did not want to bother about him. Purposely, I come against him with the words of Christ and looking to Christ, on what Lord Jesus had completed for me and not to the dirt of devil
As I stand stronger on the word of Christ, devil dipped hubby into dirtier pit. It's a spiritual warfare, between me standing strong on words of Christ, believing him and devil lead hubby by the nose to more mess. Main purpose to hit me down. Purposely, I refuse to give up hope. I decided to look even stronger on Jesus finished work at the cross and the risen Christ sitting at throne in Heaven.
Glory Glory! Lord give me his Peace, His Prince of Peace stays with me and uphold me. Hallelujah!
Devil thought that by revealing what most wife fear, I would kowtow to him. Haha...he did not know I know the Almighty God, my Abba Father is the BIG Mountain behind me. Surely he will save me from fowler's snare and deadly pestilence. His Faithfulness is my shield and rampart.
Last night, I asked Lord, 'why hubby so shitty and you still want me to keep him?'. Through this, I could see the spiritual warfare clearly. Main purpose of devil work is to break this family and bring me down so that I could not serve Abba Father.
Abba Father blessings is for all his children to have love, joy and peace family unit. If I leave hubby, it means devil win this battle. I let him affects me. With this understanding, finally, I could look at the spiritual warfare clearly!
Man is weak, whatever devil dumped on them they themselves have no ability to get out. But Lord Jesus done a Perfect Work at the Cross and His Blood cleanses away all of devil shit. His cleansing is so good that men are made whiter than snow! Glory Glory!
With this, in the midst of morning praying in the spirit, Lord showed me a very clean and neat hubby. Glory Glory! I know this final deliverance is just as good. Jesus work is always good. Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Amen Amen!
Update 16/7/09:
Since hubby expressed great hatred for Christianity, Lord said there is no way to bring him back to him. As such, it's the end of our relationship. Lord is blessing me a godly man after the divorce. Yet to start the divorce process though.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
The Life of Christ
Recently, through Lord's leading, I realised that I must give up my focus in love. To me, life is about love, without love, nothing matters. This is why through the Grace of Jesus, I do not focus on power and status. But love, it's an area I hold on tightly.
I am a middle child among the 5 of us. Young time, I felt that my 2 elder sisters took care of my younger sister and brother. Me in the middle, nobody cares. This great desired to be love was satisfied by hubby when he came into my life 10 yrs ago. Just past my wedding anniversary. About 3 years ago, when I came to know Abba father, I desired so strongly to know his love too. I was seeking and seeking and one day, by the Grace of Lord Jesus, Abba father opened his heaven to show me that mighty power of Love. That morning, as I laze in bed upon woke up, I was meditating on his love and WOW, that was so wonderful! that even now, I still wanting to hold on to that love.
Thank you Abba father for stabling me in His love. He leads me to cast my focus of love to Lord Jesus' nail pierced hand. Then Lord revealed all about hubby to me. Through this meditation, whatever Lord told me, I did go and questioned hubby. As there are no physical proof, it's hard to argue with him. He always said that it's all imagination from my head!
He has all his documents locked up. Lord led him to did not lock the drawer once, but I did nothing. Recently, Lord led me to check on all his visa statements. From there, I gather whatever Lord told me is the truth! Praise the Lord!
When things are not proven, it's harder to believe it's real. The reality hit me hard, very hard indeed. All these months of trusting in hubby and what he had done, I could not forgive him, nor could I forgive myself for believing in him so much. By the Grace of Lord Jesus, Lord told me to look at him as the Righteousness of God in Christ and all his sins were washed by the blood of Jesus.
For others, I had no problem seeing so, but for my husband, involving my trust in him and his doing become reality, I had a hard time seeing pass his sins to Lord's Righteousness....more of I could not believe I believe so much in him.
Last night, Lord led me into a long talk with him. Even into revealing how a wife miss out in serving the husband as Lord is. This talk let me understand how the professionals could capture men heart to return to them again and again. It's about service, about attentiveness, about willingness. This become an enriching learning experience for me instead of condemning him.
This morning service, Pastor Mark preached about the society lots of influence on sex, bombarding in daily life. If love not shown at home, kids goes elsewhere to find love. It leads me to think of hubby and how much I had neglected him. With that, I forgiven myself and Lord told me to tell him that I had forgiven him of all that he had done. I gave him a tight hug and told him that I forgive him and he is still my beloved husband. Praise the Lord!
Do I still feel bitter? No, I am now flowing in the peace of Lord! Glory to Lord Jesus in leading me in this marriage turmoil. He is the Redeemer for my marriage and for my relationship with hubby. Glory to Lord Jesus! Forever and ever! Amen and Amen!
I am a middle child among the 5 of us. Young time, I felt that my 2 elder sisters took care of my younger sister and brother. Me in the middle, nobody cares. This great desired to be love was satisfied by hubby when he came into my life 10 yrs ago. Just past my wedding anniversary. About 3 years ago, when I came to know Abba father, I desired so strongly to know his love too. I was seeking and seeking and one day, by the Grace of Lord Jesus, Abba father opened his heaven to show me that mighty power of Love. That morning, as I laze in bed upon woke up, I was meditating on his love and WOW, that was so wonderful! that even now, I still wanting to hold on to that love.
Thank you Abba father for stabling me in His love. He leads me to cast my focus of love to Lord Jesus' nail pierced hand. Then Lord revealed all about hubby to me. Through this meditation, whatever Lord told me, I did go and questioned hubby. As there are no physical proof, it's hard to argue with him. He always said that it's all imagination from my head!
He has all his documents locked up. Lord led him to did not lock the drawer once, but I did nothing. Recently, Lord led me to check on all his visa statements. From there, I gather whatever Lord told me is the truth! Praise the Lord!
When things are not proven, it's harder to believe it's real. The reality hit me hard, very hard indeed. All these months of trusting in hubby and what he had done, I could not forgive him, nor could I forgive myself for believing in him so much. By the Grace of Lord Jesus, Lord told me to look at him as the Righteousness of God in Christ and all his sins were washed by the blood of Jesus.
For others, I had no problem seeing so, but for my husband, involving my trust in him and his doing become reality, I had a hard time seeing pass his sins to Lord's Righteousness....more of I could not believe I believe so much in him.
Last night, Lord led me into a long talk with him. Even into revealing how a wife miss out in serving the husband as Lord is. This talk let me understand how the professionals could capture men heart to return to them again and again. It's about service, about attentiveness, about willingness. This become an enriching learning experience for me instead of condemning him.
This morning service, Pastor Mark preached about the society lots of influence on sex, bombarding in daily life. If love not shown at home, kids goes elsewhere to find love. It leads me to think of hubby and how much I had neglected him. With that, I forgiven myself and Lord told me to tell him that I had forgiven him of all that he had done. I gave him a tight hug and told him that I forgive him and he is still my beloved husband. Praise the Lord!
Do I still feel bitter? No, I am now flowing in the peace of Lord! Glory to Lord Jesus in leading me in this marriage turmoil. He is the Redeemer for my marriage and for my relationship with hubby. Glory to Lord Jesus! Forever and ever! Amen and Amen!
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Lord, the Healer
This morning, Lord's presence in the 1st service was very strong. Firstly, Lord impressed Pastor Prince to get those with lower back problem to stand up and get one old uncle to the front for healing prayer. Glory Glory! After that he could bent down a lot more. Hallelujah! Amen Amen!
After the back healing, Lord's presence was super strong that Lord told us to lay hand on our neighbour and I decided to lay hand on the auntie that sat next to me. Today is a special day! Usually for Sunday service, I would attend the service with Su's family. But today Su's family wanted to attend the 2nd service but Jc wanted to go for her 1st service Jkidz. No choice, have to give priority to my girl and I went alone to church.
This auntie come later, 2 seats still available up front. She sat 2 seats away from me. She told me later that usually she won't come to the front to sit. Today, Lord impressed her to come to sit beside me. By the Grace of Jesus, no one sit between us. Praise the Lord! After worship, I decided to move next to her for better view of the screen. Hallelujah!
This auntie was telling me that her knee is painful, she walked with the help of a walking stick that has 4 legs. I asked her if okay for me to lay hand, she said okay. As I put my both hands on each of her knees, she told me only the left knee cap. As Pastor Prince starts, Lord prayed in the spirit quietly. He came very strong and told me to lay one hand on her head. After service, Lord told her that he was creating the soft bone for her and told her to keep believing. At that moment, she still walks with the help of the walking stick.
Jc was hungry and wanted egg tart. As I queued up for my serving, the auntie approached me and told me that her knee cap pain is gone. Praise the Lord! She walked off carrying the walking stick in her hands, she look as if Lord renewed her youth. Glory Glory! It was fun to see her walk steadily without the help of the walking stick but carry it in her hand instead. Glory Glory to the miracle of Lord Jesus! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Amen Amen!
After the back healing, Lord's presence was super strong that Lord told us to lay hand on our neighbour and I decided to lay hand on the auntie that sat next to me. Today is a special day! Usually for Sunday service, I would attend the service with Su's family. But today Su's family wanted to attend the 2nd service but Jc wanted to go for her 1st service Jkidz. No choice, have to give priority to my girl and I went alone to church.
This auntie come later, 2 seats still available up front. She sat 2 seats away from me. She told me later that usually she won't come to the front to sit. Today, Lord impressed her to come to sit beside me. By the Grace of Jesus, no one sit between us. Praise the Lord! After worship, I decided to move next to her for better view of the screen. Hallelujah!
This auntie was telling me that her knee is painful, she walked with the help of a walking stick that has 4 legs. I asked her if okay for me to lay hand, she said okay. As I put my both hands on each of her knees, she told me only the left knee cap. As Pastor Prince starts, Lord prayed in the spirit quietly. He came very strong and told me to lay one hand on her head. After service, Lord told her that he was creating the soft bone for her and told her to keep believing. At that moment, she still walks with the help of the walking stick.
Jc was hungry and wanted egg tart. As I queued up for my serving, the auntie approached me and told me that her knee cap pain is gone. Praise the Lord! She walked off carrying the walking stick in her hands, she look as if Lord renewed her youth. Glory Glory! It was fun to see her walk steadily without the help of the walking stick but carry it in her hand instead. Glory Glory to the miracle of Lord Jesus! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Amen Amen!
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