Monday, January 25, 2010

The Love of Abba

My Abba father is a very good and caring God. Sometime last year, when Abba told me that P is not worthy of me, I could not see it. As I was still loving him at the time of divorce, I was still blind to it. Many months down, I could still forgive him and still hold a feeling for him. Lord is patient to let me go through all that. Glory Glory!

He knows P is using my loving him to get things his way. All the bills he has arranged to pay through his account long ago, before the actual divorce. Even during the divorce procedure, he convinced me agree to the house to be transferred to his name only and the care and control of Jc to go to him because of the house. He said he will let me and Jc stayed in here. Of course I was happy that he is not so bad.

However, recently I asked about his rental apartment seeking. He said the conditions of those he had looked was too old, not desirable to live for long. 2nd time I asked him, he said he preferred this house and mentioned about kicking me out.

In my meditation, Lord revealed his intention too! Just last week, Lord has impressed me to build a hatch of protection around myself, Jc and P. Yesterday, over I keeping Jc's passport, he insisted that I must gave it to him, when I didn't, he terrorized me with shouts, loud threatening voice. My soul was deeply hurt. I was driven to the grave. I could not stop crying, uncontrollable sobbing, it's like the world around me had collapsed.

Praise the Lord that the day before, Lord led me to cyberanger's blog to read 'Wonderful Testimony from Joan Hunter', and I learnt about Spirit of trauma and grief were bad for the body and could harm the body. I could not get out from that cycle of saddest, my own prayer were unable to stop me. I went into my girl's room, locked it, and decided to worship Lord to rise Him up to help me pray. I used 'You Gave' worship songs and looking to the Lord, half crying half trying to concentrate. I also prayed to Lord to pour abundance of His Grace and Mercy towards me. Praise the Lord! With 3 songs of worshiping, Lord raised up and cursed the spirit of trauma and grief off me. I know it was a spiritual attack, to keep me in hell, but I refused and raised up with the help of Lord Jesus. Glory Glory!

With that I was able to quiet down and calm down. I was still crying softy. I told Lord to heal me while I sleep, from these 2 weeks sermon, Lord made woman when man slept. I on 'A Touch of His Presence' went sleeping. When I woke up a few worship songs later, I was in shalom peace. Praise the Lord!

Lord has opened my eyes to see the nastiness of this man. The one I kept giving forgiveness, how he turn back to bite me. Just like the story; Saul let go of the Amelek and was killed by one. I don't want to dwell in hatred, I asked Lord to help me forgive him. I don't know how to treat him any more. Lord told me to take him as a pathetic soul, this sound acceptable for me. Lord had led me to see him as pure, as what God had made, just that in this world he is tagged with the 7 seals of evil spirits. I could readily forgive him, but whatever cares and concern was fully gone with that terrorizing shouting at me. I prayed to Lord to help me take him as a stranger. I could have a peace of heart even when he was around. He is a chameleon, after that he was in his sweet nature again.

This man is good in talking what woman wants to hear. I was fooled by him. Last night, I was finally awaken and don't take his sweet talk anymore. Glory that Lord let me see clearly of him. Yes, I have regretted marrying this man. I praise Lord that He is a good father. He has the patience to lead me step by step to see the ugliness of him. Finally I could see clearly his ways and his methods of letting girls to fall for him and how he get the law on his side that no one can sue him. He used the law by his side to push away me. Yes, I know once my name as the main owner of this house is gone, he will surely used that to kick me out. For, he had used the care and control of Jc is under him, if I don't give him the passport, he will call police. Sad right? For a man that I gave forgiveness always, his heart is evil!

I am only glad that I have a Saviour on my end and a Provider. He will not let me be devour. Glory Glory to Lord Jesus! Amen Amen that He is a Truth Living God! Glory Glory! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Amen Amen!

PS: I received the Certificate of Making Interim Judgment Final. So the divorce is completed. Next will be the transfer of HDB. Let see the Glory of Lord Jesus!

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Update on my Divorce

Time flies, since the start of divorce in July till now that everything is over. Glory to Lord Jesus, who takes good care of His sheep! In this whole process, still I now meditating on 1 Timothy 3, finally I could see what Lord is doing in my life. Glory Glory!

Now looking back and talking to P, finally I could see Lord's hand in the whole process. On Wednesday night, P had a good talk with me after I could not draw my $90 from the jointed a/c, which is where my allowance come from all these years. After initial shock, and some sms with P, then realise his clearance of 2 cheques had let the already low amount to go down to even lower, $70. He was in some meeting and promised to top it up once could go online. Praise the Almighty God, the sweet Abba, who is working in my life.

P told me that, he actually pondering if to divorce me or not for many months. He finally decided because I called him to go find a lawyer to settle it. I had obey Lord when He told me that P wanted to divorce me and told me to call him for the divorce. That was how it got started.

P was telling me that if I obeyed him and kept Christianity to myself and not spread to Jc, he won't get mad with me and this divorce won't happen. From what I see, it's more of he could not control me any more that he was angry with. This 7 years of marriage, whatever he said, I lived around it for the peace of this family. He was happy but not me, something was lacking, which is love. But as financial wise his provision was and is still good, that's why not much a complain from my end.

Beside seeing Abba love me so much and wanted to give me a man, who will love me, I see the need of the future job in the kingdom too. 1 Timothy 3:11 'In the same way, their wives (spouses) are to be women (men) worthy of respect, not malicious talkers but temperate and trustworthy in everything.' This is the part where P cannot fulfill as till now, he is still anti-Christ.

I also see why Lord wants me to use the rod to bring Jc to obedience. 1 Timothy 3:4-5 'He must manage his own family well and see his children obey him with respect. (If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God's church)' With the rod, Jc is a lot obedience nowadays. Praise the Lord!

P has gone through a few rounds of relationships, when the girl he had was young and sexy, he was proud and the girls are demanding. But I build the hedge of protection around him and plea the blood of Jesus around it. Glory to Lord Jesus, the girls showed him their bad and P back off! Glory Glory! Now he is with the girl blessed by Lord, he is humbled and the girl even thought of buying shoes for Jc! How considerate of her. Lord told me she is a 35 years young graduate, who is very considerate. Praise the Lord!

With the 3 months chance to regret over, now we are waiting for the finalise divorce certificate to be deliver to us. Life is still as usual. He goes on with his life and me mine, even though we are still living in the same house and sleeping on the same bed, we are having our own life. Lord made me not horny these 2 months to prevent us from having any form of sex. It is a close door for me and him. Lord even said that when he up my sexual desire, I am not to turn to him but to the new man. So, I pray to Lord to only turn it on after I know the blessed man. Glory Glory!

P is on 4 days vacation with his girl friend. Me and Jc are home alone. But life is normal, we don't miss him. Praise the Lord! That's all for now between me n him. Thanks to those who cares for me. Glory Glory! May the lovely Abba bless you with peaceful life. Glory Glory! Amen Amen!

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Fellowship with God

I was listening to this Pastor Prince sermon, 30/10/05 – 'How to receive Strength to Conceive Seed' over dinner and had just finished it not long ago that Lord wants me to write this post.

Daily, how often do you fellowship with God? While I was worship Lord in church, while looking at the words to sing, at time, I looked at the audience in Rock auditorium (This is the initial when I yet fully focusing on Lord). Sometime, when I see dull face, no hand rise, or not singing, I wondered what are they doing there? Worshiping is a good way to talk to Lord about His promise to you. To thank him for all that Jesus had done for you. It's good way to use the worshiping songs to help us talk to him. But some missed the chance. Usually, I have to listen to 1 album of worship songs before worshiping starts to get myself in the flow.

What is this flow I am talking about? Lord is in the spirit realm, to get Him out to touch our bodies, for healing and blessings to flow through, we have to look to him, concentrate on him, who is there. Even though we cannot see, we have to assume He is there. This is important because, when Lord is risen in you, He sees your faith, with that, blessing, healing could flow through. That is why in the Synagogue or in a house, among so many people waiting to receive their miracle, only a certain lady or man, whom Lord saw their faith, was healed.

Ephesians 1:3 'Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ'. As this verse has said, Abba father has blessed us in Christ, yet why have you not see it? The clue is 'in Christ'. The sermons that Pastor Prince preached is about Christ. The bible is words of Christ. Meditating is fellowship with God, Himself. Worshiping is talking to Jesus.

If constantly you abide with Christ, you will realise you without notice, have flow into the spirit realm. Many a time, when I am out in a place, there is a sense that there is a spiritual enclosure around me, that set me apart from the rest. Sis, also could feel so. We spend our days talking to Lord daily. When you have close relationship with Lord, hard for him not to bless you...ought not my daughter be blessed?

I can quote you a recent blessing. Through internet, I found a Chinese tutor for Jc. She is so popular that the only time available is weekday after 6pm and Sunday also the same. I wanted a Sunday but earlier time as 6+pm is too close to Monday. I prayed to Lord to make available the time slot for me. Praise the Lord, this afternoon, the tutor told me I have a 2pm slot or 6:30pm slot to go for. Hallelujah!!!

She told me that this Sunday, she has church activity and could not make it for this particular Sunday 2pm. So suggested I go for Friday 6:30pm or Sunday. Originally I told her Friday okay. But this afternoon Su said she wanted to treat me to a dinner on Friday. I am planning to tell the tutor tomorrow about this Friday cannot. Praise the Lord, He arranged for me!!! The tutor called up this evening to tell me Sunday 4+pm is available due to a student not free for that slot!!! Praise Abba father that is so good that He arranged it for me even though I have not prayed to Him!!! Ought not my daughter be blessed, He said. Glory Glory!

In this Rest and Increase year, Lord is looking who else He could bless. Among the crowd, who is looking for blessing, do you want to be the one chosen? I am sure you do. If so, abide with the Lord so that He could pour the inheritance that Jesus had secured for you, onto you. Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!

Update (11/01/2010) : You can listen to Pastor Prince sermon 29/01/2006 'The Sure Ground for Unshakeable Peace' on simliar topic.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

The Love of Christ

This morning, I was listening to a love song that said love so hard, breakup so painful, the ups and the downs of life. I was also in the sea of turmoil long ago before accepting Christ! Life in Christ is so good. Never did I know breakup pain can last as short as a few short hours. Haha...Praise be the Lord! Glory Glory!

Long ago, Lord first let me realised that the heavy burden that I had been carrying for 3 years can be cast to Him. From then on, whatever anger, disappointment, saddest, jealousy, even forgiveness and guilt can easily cast to Lord Jesus nailed-pierced hand and let him clear it off.

Then He let me learned through a sermon from Pastor Prince that whatever devil or news from this world, anything that is from the pit of hell and not about knowledge and goodness of Jesus, I can get Holy Spirit to erase it from my mind and heart.

With this learned, for this divorce that is going to finalise this Thursday, the beginning wasn't easy at all. I was still loving P when Lord told me P wanted to divorce me and told me to call him to find a lawyer. 10 years of married life suddenly coming to an end. Before that I was trusting Lord to change P. To abort the hope and head for the end. How I deal with this turmoil?

With what I learnt, I pray to Lord to erase all about P from my mind and heart. However, emotionally still weak, I still could cry at the thought of it. So, I prayed to Lord to erase all that of P from my emotion and feelings. After praying a few times, finally I have been dwelling in the Peace of Jesus. Whatever arises in this few months of life, still with him around, I cast to Lord's nail-pierced hand or pray to Lord to erase for me. Glory Glory! Lord blessed me His Shalom Peace!

In between, P went through a few relationships. When Lord let me know the lady was not the right one for him, I pray to Lord to build a hedge of protection around P and plea the blood of Jesus over it. Glory Glory! Lord always let the lady showed her true self and P moved away. Glory Glory!

I have to make sure P goes for Lord's blessed girl because if he found a nasty future partner, my girl will surely suffer on days she is with him. So I want to make sure his future partner will be good to Jc too. Praise the Lord, when P heart was broken in those past relationship, I prayed the same casting his sadness and heart break to Lord and pray to Lord to erase all the information of the girl from his mind and heart, emotion and feeling. Glory Glory! I could see his sad eyes turned normal again. Glory to the peace of God! That's the quickest recovery from breakup I have ever seen. It's great that through prayer, Lord gave him Shalom Peace! I need not suffer his wrath when his emotion is down. Glory Glory!

Walking is Christ is great. His Shalom Peace is always so easy to attain, just a prayer away! Glory Glory! This is the life Lord Jesus promise before He went for the Cross. John 14:27 'Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your heart be troubled and do not be afraid.'

Abba knows that a lot of you don't know how to cast your turmoil in life to him, today he impressed me to share with you so that you could flow in His Peace. Glory Glory! Amen Amen!

Monday, January 4, 2010

A Life of Rest

Hi Brothers and Sisters in Christ,

Since Lord has been directing his children of God to rest in Him and let Holy Spirit direct your life, I would like to share here how Lord has been leading me. Hope you benefit from this sharing.

When I started getting to know Lord Jesus, He made me sit by His feet. Daily, I drowned in 4-5 sermons of Pastor Prince past years sermons. This seating is resting at His feet. Paying close attention to what He shared through Pastor Prince. As I wanted to know Him, Lord is willing to teach. When I understood wrongly, He would get Pastor Prince to correct me during his preaching. This carried on around a year. I found that if I did something and hear, I could not receive anything, just like a normal sermon. But when I let go of all things and concentrate listening, joy and uplifting came from believing all that He is. Glory Glory!

When I have good opinion of Abba Father and Lord Jesus, He led me to the next level, to finish reading his bible. From reading the whole bible, I could see God's nature and personality. Many see Him as a wrath giving God in the old testament. Actually, His heart is in saving, not leaving the children of Israel. It's their disbelieve that prevented Him from coming close. When they were hopeless, then the children of Israel turned to God and Abba father quickly rush in to save them. Glory Glory! You will see Abba father is a Strong and Mighty God, very protective to His Own and come strongly against the enemies. Glory Glory!

After I finished reading the bible, Lord led me to start my meditation of His Words. In Psalms, I got a good assurance of He is for me. In Proverbs, it is His Wisdom. All the pit falls and the consequence of human are explained. Glory Glory!

Then Lord lead me through Romans, Acts, then Hebrews, 1 & 2 Corinthians, then to Galatians. When I finished Galatians, Lord said that all that I need to know about Jesus is completed. The rest is reaffirming what I have known. From there I proceeded to Ephesians, and now in Philippians, from knowing Jesus personally to now know from Paul.

Jesus is the source of blessings. All that you need to know is in Him. How to move Him from the spirit realm to enrich your soul? This siting at His feet, let your heart be a good ground, grab hold of all that is shared about your rich inheritance. Then from the bible, have a good opinion of God and know Him well. Then communicate with Him through meditation. Let Lord fills your heart. The more closer you soak yourself in him, the more He can come out to help you and lift you up.

Once you are so full in Him, whatever your needs and wants, Lord satisfies. You will find your life gets better and better, even though you have done nothing, but just looking towards Jesus. This is how His sheep gaze around the hills of Righteousness and let the shepherd leads. Overtime, you become a good sheep that He could move freely in you. It will be time of serving Him and letting His blessings come through. That is why this year is the year of Rest and Increase. By not resting in him, nothing will happen. Glory Glory!

Lord is moving mightily in this end time, He wants to rise up soldiers, He wants to expand His Kingdom. Are you keen to move with Him?

Abba Father, by the Grace of Lord Jesus, may you manifest your Lord's hand into the veils that is covering your children of God, bind the satan that is covering their eyes and throw it down to hell, to the lake of fire. Let them wake up to their sense and the goodness of you. Lord Jesus, may you be their focus and concentration in You In the Name of Jesus Amen Amen!

Friday, January 1, 2010

The Feeding of the Spirit Man

It has been quite a while that Lord instructed Su and I to daily wake up at 7:30am to meditate then shower then worship him and follow by more meditation, listening to sermon etc. Lately, I just feel tired in the day. Yes, I am guilty of late night sleep too. I don't denial.

Today being the first day of 2010, I was feeling tired and don't feel like waking up early. I asked Lord for later wake up at 8am. But as alarm rang, I was still tired. I thank Lord and continued sleeping till my mum called for prayer because her right back was very painful.

I tried to call Su for combine prayer but she was none contactable. I was thinking, yet to feed the spirit man and yet to worship for the spirit man to rise. Should I pray? Mum said she was in great pain! Then out of concern for my mum, I decided to trust the Grace and Mercy of Lord to pray. Somehow, the anointing is different. I did not feel much mightiness of Lord as I used to when prayer with Su. I did not receive any spirit flying off or died off vision.

As I was still in my prayer, Su called, I was able to combine prayer with her, but Lord open my vision to see a big bottle-cap like creature clinging to her. Upon peeling it off, many small cap was clinging all over my mum's back under the big shell. Lord let me peel it one by one. Finally, all was gone from mum. Praise the Lord!

It was when prayer over then I started feeding my spirit man. I was guilty for not coming to Lord first, but has prayed that through Jesus finished work at the cross and His blood, there is therefore no condemnation. The following was what Lord revealed to me and I guess it would benefit you too. Lord asked me to post it here. So this is it:

Lord:

'My beloved, my love, abba is glad that you pray for your mum. Glory Glory! As you can see, 1 person praying and 2 persons praying is different. Surely there is greater power in the combination of 2. And with me fully dwell in you, the effect is different too. I let you see it. Glory Glory! Amen Amen'

'My love, abba is glad that you come close to me. Glory Glory! My love, abba is glad that you realise this feeding of spirit man is very important! Yes, when you feed me, I could do a lot more! Glory Glory! But don't worry, your mum is healed. Glory Glory! Amen Amen!'

'My love, abba is very pleased that you believe n Christ Jesus perfect work. Abba is pleased that you walk back. Glory Glory! Yes, it is important to wake up early to walk with me. You never know what is needed of you. So waking up early to feed me and get ready will make sure all things flow well. Glory Glory!'

'My beloved, highly blessed are you. Abba is glad you are willing to learn from your mistake. This is what I need in my child; willing to learn and move on believing. I do not need you to argue. I am glad you know your mistake and walk back fully. Glory Glory! Amen Amen!'

'My beloved, yes, you have move in what is pleasing in my eyes. Human do have some disobedience as the world is negative. When you sleep, you are back to the darkness. That is why when you wake up, you come back to me immediately, so that I could work through you. This will ensure your day time always flow with me. Glory Glory! Amen Amen!'

May you receive this revelation and walk closely to Lord Jesus too. Glory Glory! Amen Amen! Blessed 2010!