The Love of Abba

My Abba father is a very good and caring God. Sometime last year, when Abba told me that P is not worthy of me, I could not see it. As I was still loving him at the time of divorce, I was still blind to it. Many months down, I could still forgive him and still hold a feeling for him. Lord is patient to let me go through all that. Glory Glory!

He knows P is using my loving him to get things his way. All the bills he has arranged to pay through his account long ago, before the actual divorce. Even during the divorce procedure, he convinced me agree to the house to be transferred to his name only and the care and control of Jc to go to him because of the house. He said he will let me and Jc stayed in here. Of course I was happy that he is not so bad.

However, recently I asked about his rental apartment seeking. He said the conditions of those he had looked was too old, not desirable to live for long. 2nd time I asked him, he said he preferred this house and mentioned about kicking me out.

In my meditation, Lord revealed his intention too! Just last week, Lord has impressed me to build a hatch of protection around myself, Jc and P. Yesterday, over I keeping Jc's passport, he insisted that I must gave it to him, when I didn't, he terrorized me with shouts, loud threatening voice. My soul was deeply hurt. I was driven to the grave. I could not stop crying, uncontrollable sobbing, it's like the world around me had collapsed.

Praise the Lord that the day before, Lord led me to cyberanger's blog to read 'Wonderful Testimony from Joan Hunter', and I learnt about Spirit of trauma and grief were bad for the body and could harm the body. I could not get out from that cycle of saddest, my own prayer were unable to stop me. I went into my girl's room, locked it, and decided to worship Lord to rise Him up to help me pray. I used 'You Gave' worship songs and looking to the Lord, half crying half trying to concentrate. I also prayed to Lord to pour abundance of His Grace and Mercy towards me. Praise the Lord! With 3 songs of worshiping, Lord raised up and cursed the spirit of trauma and grief off me. I know it was a spiritual attack, to keep me in hell, but I refused and raised up with the help of Lord Jesus. Glory Glory!

With that I was able to quiet down and calm down. I was still crying softy. I told Lord to heal me while I sleep, from these 2 weeks sermon, Lord made woman when man slept. I on 'A Touch of His Presence' went sleeping. When I woke up a few worship songs later, I was in shalom peace. Praise the Lord!

Lord has opened my eyes to see the nastiness of this man. The one I kept giving forgiveness, how he turn back to bite me. Just like the story; Saul let go of the Amelek and was killed by one. I don't want to dwell in hatred, I asked Lord to help me forgive him. I don't know how to treat him any more. Lord told me to take him as a pathetic soul, this sound acceptable for me. Lord had led me to see him as pure, as what God had made, just that in this world he is tagged with the 7 seals of evil spirits. I could readily forgive him, but whatever cares and concern was fully gone with that terrorizing shouting at me. I prayed to Lord to help me take him as a stranger. I could have a peace of heart even when he was around. He is a chameleon, after that he was in his sweet nature again.

This man is good in talking what woman wants to hear. I was fooled by him. Last night, I was finally awaken and don't take his sweet talk anymore. Glory that Lord let me see clearly of him. Yes, I have regretted marrying this man. I praise Lord that He is a good father. He has the patience to lead me step by step to see the ugliness of him. Finally I could see clearly his ways and his methods of letting girls to fall for him and how he get the law on his side that no one can sue him. He used the law by his side to push away me. Yes, I know once my name as the main owner of this house is gone, he will surely used that to kick me out. For, he had used the care and control of Jc is under him, if I don't give him the passport, he will call police. Sad right? For a man that I gave forgiveness always, his heart is evil!

I am only glad that I have a Saviour on my end and a Provider. He will not let me be devour. Glory Glory to Lord Jesus! Amen Amen that He is a Truth Living God! Glory Glory! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Amen Amen!

PS: I received the Certificate of Making Interim Judgment Final. So the divorce is completed. Next will be the transfer of HDB. Let see the Glory of Lord Jesus!