Monday, April 30, 2012

The Righteousness shall Lives

I would like to dedicate this post to my Daddy God and to Lord Jesus and to my Holy Spirit. Without them, I don't know how shall I live. Glory to His 5 loaves and 2 fish miracle in my life. Hallelujah! Holy Holy!

It seems like, when ex went away, the attack on my end was doubled.  This time round, I found myself getting weaker and weaker. This morning, I had to pray to Lord to manifest His miracle of 5 loaves and 2 fish in my life, in my strength and in my energy, etc!

Opening a bottle of 1.5 litre drink was becoming a hard task, this is to show you how much life had devil  suck dry of me. It's was the same for Jc and my mum too. Sweeping the floor become too tedious a job. I had to exert much strength to do some of it. That was how bad I and my family had deteriorated under the attack!

Lord is Good! As I dragged myself to church, yes, with much efforts and breath, I prayed to Lord to create His Abundance miracle in my life, energy, strength, muscle, breath, blood, etc. Lord is faithful, He came strongly to strengthen me at the start of worship and continued His Strengthening throughout the whole worship session. At the end of it, He showed me a vision of the Garden of Eden. Glory Glory!

I didn't have the strength to even worship the Lord and had to pass my whole being to the Lord for Him to come in me and come through me to help me worship Abba Father! I told Him I could not come close to Him and prayed to Lord to pull me closed to Him instead. He is always a Faithful God! Glory Glory! In my weakness, He is my Strength! Amen Amen! I am strengthen up to normal again. Glory Glory!

Ex came on Friday and gave Jc 2 shirts, but one of them was cursed and of a different material. I suspect he bought it in those $2 shop to serve as this purpose. Anyway, Lord gave me wisdom to dump it away. Glory Glory! Amen Amen!

I wrote this post to remind myself of ex evilness. As I know if Lord make me young and sexy and rich again, he might want to make a u-turn. Even I have soft heart, I do not want to be fooled by him anymore! Without love, he could act loving effortlessly! Many local girls had gaga over him, his sincere looking face cheated many of them. Getting girls is not a problem for him, especially he is financially strong to use money to lure them. I don't want to fall into his soft talking voice that he used to unarm his opponents.

Lord goes through great efforts to show me how bad he is, I really appreciate Him. I am a woman that needed love and I am patiently waiting for the right moment for Lord to bring the new man to me. As I passed all my hatred, anger, regrets, hurts to Lord, I have no more evil feeling for him. But I don't want to expose myself to his tactics again. I have enough, I just want a new life without him in the picture! Glory Glory! Amen Amen!

Abba Father, I pray to You to be my Reminder. Please help me to recall his evilness so that I will not be his prey again. I pray in Jesus Name! Amen Amen!

Lord, I thank You for being so Faithful to me. I know You will continue to love me and take good care of me. I thank You from the bottom of my heart! Glory Glory! Amen Amen!

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Something out of Nothing

In this world, where people always tries to be somebody, to hold something in your hands, to have something to boast about, to become something, is all strive to be. Those that did not hit it will not feel good about it. Especially what the world lay out to be, so many things that are tempting you and all that you want with your life.

It always good to have someone who can click with you, somebody that would listen to you...who don't want an audience? None! It's hard to be alone and harder to be lonely. However bad as it is, it is not really that bad!!!

Who is the middle child? I don't know about others, but for me, it was no fun to struck in the middle of the 5 of us. It as if the elder 2 will take care of the younger 2 and I the middle, take care of my self. My mother, who shows more care and concern to the eldest and the youngest, did not help in making me feel wanted too.

I don't have the skill of socialing did not help too. What was worst is I do not like to get too close to someone. It's like 2 magnets with the same poles, they repell if you try to put them together. All these made me seeking for love more!

When ex came along, he was good in talking about what women want to hear. He knows how to convince you to make you comfortable with him. One who so good in this area, and one who not much friends to begin with, this is the disaster union so to speak!

Coming to Lord Jesus is also another incident encounter. If I did not have that stipid devil that causing me lots of sleepless night, I won't even think of going to Jesus for help. I was happy in my ignorance. The encounter with the Lord was a force to rather than willingly come to.

In the pride of self, Lord could mould me down to seek Him. In my insecure for Love, I went deep in to find His Love, the intensity of it. It was with such, I become stable in Him. He shook the life out of the Union of Lies, to let me get away from misery. Glory Glory!

With nothingness to self, I could trust Him in His Greatness. Maybe that's why!! I discover it pretty hard to get people to let go of who they are. Maybe, Lord led me through all this emptiness and shitty life so that I could embrace all that He have! Glory Glory! Amen Amen!

I mean, who would think He would want to bless me so much and lift me so high up??? It's something not imaginable! Plus to live so long and whole family generation after generation blessed is all beyond my imagination!!!

In these world, where everyone is chasing the rat, the rat race, Lord said there is a better way! By chasing after Jesus, to listen to Him, to read His Words, to talk to Him, I am lifted up!!! Things that is gone, could be things that is growing abundantly! Bad cannot be bad anymore as it could be good under His Hand!

The nothing in me, become the Something in Him!!! Glory Glory! Amen Amen!!!

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

The Holiness of God

The past one week that had just passed wasn't a good week. With ex out-station in Tokyo, Japan, it seemed to be an increase of attack on my ends. I was proclaiming the abundance of Grace and the Sure Mercy of David and the free gift of Righteousness and the Name of Jesus above all names to fight my battle.Glory Glory! However I learnt new knowledge in church, rather, it's old knowledge that satan had stolen. Sad....

Lord reminded me this week about the Name of Jesus above all names. This I only recalled when I played the CD, 'The Perfect Offering'. That is why I added it to my prayer. However, Lord let me recall about His Holiness on Sunday sermon. Glory to Jesus!

Finally, I am proclaiming Lord's Holiness justified me and I shall not be cursed and Jc shall not be sick. Lord is good! No matter how badly I suffered, He always come to my rescue! My prayer was affected but Lord always let me come out of it unharmed. Glory Glory!

Even I had walked away from Lord so much, He is always there for me when I turned to Him for help. Glory Glory! Amen Amen! Lord told me that He is glad that I walked back to Him. It is not the fact that I walked away, but it is about at each lead away by the devil, will I turn back to Him again. This is the important part in Christian life, even so for sinners!

At the Cross, the Love of God met the Holiness of God. In all transgressions, iniquites and sins of the human race, were melt upon the Love of God. Lord Jesus at the Cross was burnt as revealed to us from the offerings. He is our offering to God! We empty of all goodness, only have ugliness to show Him. We only have a perfect Lamb of God. The High Priest checked for all blemishes and were satisfied. The Lamb was cut and sent as a burnt offering, grain offering, peace offering, tresspass offering and sin offering to the Holiness of God. Glory Glory!

The Holiness of God was happy as His only Son willingly went to the Cross to suffer for us, His Beloved Children. Holy Fire burnt all the transgression, iniquites and sins of us that was imputed to Jesus. He took our sicknesses, stink of death and hanged on the tree to have a full redemption from all forms of curses! When all was done, He, Lord Jesus, proclaimed that 'It is Finished!' He then prayed to God, the Father to dismiss His Spirit! We are set Free Forever, Eternity!!! Glory Glory! The Holiness of God is happy with the Perfect Work! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!!!

With the claim of God Holiness completed, He opened His floodgate and pour His Righteousness of God on us who are in Christ Jesus! Amen Amen! We are set Free and have a Right standing in God, the Father's presence! Glory Glory!!!

Now, God, the Father, our Abba Father, told us to come near Him and to fellowship with Him daily. He set us free so that we could come near to Him again. Glory Glory! He opens His Floodgates and pour His Abundnce of Grace and Free gifts of Righteousness onto us. His Favour surrounded us forever! Glory Glory! Amen Amen!

Forever, we can turn back to Lord even when devil led us away. Just a prayer for Lord's Abundance of Grace and Sure Mercy of David to help us in area of needs and the Holiness of God to justify us forever that no satan nor demons could withstand Him. Glory Glory! Amen Amen!

Monday, April 16, 2012

Receiving the Grace of Jesus!

Abba is a very Good Daddy! He takes good care of me even though I have reduced my time talking to Him. To such a point that I am thinking that I am not worthly to receive any of His Goodness. But, the Grace and Mercy that come from the Finished Work of Jesus is a lot Mightier than what I could undo. Glory Glory! Amen Amen!

Due to spending time with Lord a lot, I did not have any friend on a day to day basis. This is part of the preparation for my future work where my good friend is supposed to be my future spouse. I was thinking that I have no one to talk to; kind of fred over it somewhat.

Then I don't know when I was exposed to American Idol and then to Jessica Sanchez. Lord had revealed things to me to lift her up in the contest as the judges alway praise her but did not give constructive remark. As I posted more into her facebook, I become follower of American Idol each week. The way Jessica Sanchez's singing is very 'addictive' that I follow closely the development of each week!!! To such an extent that I neglect Daddy God.

I still meditate some verse, I still worship Jesus, I still take Holy Comm daily, but I did not meditate as many as I should and I take a long time before worshipping Jesus, sometime even till midnight!!! So, all in all, I feel bad towards Abba Father. Thank Goodness He did not condemn me at all!!!

I was thinking I have moved away from Lord and not worthly anymore to receive His Promise!!! I heard a sermon that if did not hold tight to Lord, darkness still could go to Lord to harass me and I believe it. But Lord did not give up on me.

Come Sunday, He got Pastor Prince to preach about Hebrews 6:

Hebrews 6:13-14
'For when God made [His] promise to Abraham, He swore by Himself, since He has no one greater by whom to swear, saying, Blessing I certainly will bless you and multiplying I will multiply you.

Me: Hehe, He let me know He has sworn to me that surely His Promised Blessing will come. Glory Glory!

Hebrews 6:15
'And so it was that he [Abraham], having waited long and endured patiently, realized and obtained [in the birth of Isaac as a pledge of what was to come] what God had promised him.'

Me: Lord told me through this that I will surely receive His Abraham blessing. Glory Glory!

John 10:27-30 (NKJV)
27 My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me. 28 And I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; neither shall anyone snatch them out of My hand. 29 My Father, who has given them to Me, is greater than all; and no one is able to snatch them out of My Father’s hand. 30 I and My Father are one.”

Through  this, I know Lord Jesus and Abba Father has enclosed me in their hands and there is no way I could be snatch out of their hands. With this revelation, I am pleased. Glory Glory! Amen Amen!

Abba Father, thank You for leading me back to You! You are so Good! Thank You for sending Lord Jesus to the Cross that I could have His Grace and Mercy in abundance! Without them, don't know how will I live?!!! Thank You, Lord Jesus! Amen Amen!

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

How did I start My Walk of This Destiny

I come from an idol worshipping family and my father was even helping out at a Chinese temple ever since I was borned. Mum was critically ill after giving birth to me and for 2 years, she was reduced to skin and bone. Doctors could not tell what's wrong with her but Lord saved her in the end. This led to my dad faithfully served that temple till near his death some years back! That's their first understanding of the spiritual world!

For me, Lord has been leading me all these years. With a reality talking to Him to an inner voice guiding me. But I do not know it was Him then. Through the growing years, I prayed to this idol for answers, even for protection! However, time and time again, I did not get my answer, so in the end, after a spiritual attack in my teens year, I decided that idol is not god! How can it be god when my parents prayed to it daily at home, burning joss sticks and dad serving it for so long and yet, I was attacked in my sleep and it in my house, could do nothing about it.

Even so, I did declare to ex in the early of the marriage that man problem, look to man for answer, but spirit problem, must look to spirit for answer! I said this before knowing Jesus! Unknowingly, I led devil into my house to attack me years later that led me seeking for the God that could give me the answer!!! Glory Glory!!!

When I first stepped into New Creation Church, Singapore, I was overwhelmed by Lord's promise that all that I want, His Answer is 'YES' and 'AMEN'. This was first time I heard of such promises. I was so absorbed by Lord's Goodness that I hungered for His Words through the preaching. Partly, I wanted to shake off the satan that was 'chasing' me, pushed me even more eager to get nearer to Lord; to absorb more and more of Him so that I could get away from darkness.

As I joy in the Lord and His Goodness through the preaching of Jesus in NCC, Lord led me to borrow more sermon CDs to listen. I got a good bath from His Words through listening attentively to ALL His Promises!!! It was in this Joy of the Lord that Lord give me an urge to access His Resurrected Power that Pastor Prince and Pastor Mark explained is very dynamic! I had an urgency to know this power.

Then I learnt that it is through Lord's anointing that come about the power. Lord also let me grabbed onto the verse that as long as I seek His Righteousness and His Kingdom first (Lord gave me an understanding that it's about knowing Jesus), so I continued to go to every Sunday service and also the bible study during the weekday to learn about Jesus!!! Glory Glory!!!

Beside this power, Lord also led me by His Blessing. I learnt that whatever I want, Lord could bless, so I just continued believing. Glory Glory! With this Joy for the Lord, it led to an overflow that Lord led people to me for me to share to them about Jesus! Wherever I went, there will be people approaching me with problems and I would share that they could get their answer through Jesus! Glory Glory! Of course, Lord has been faithfully healing me, blessing me that I could talk the Truth! Glory Glory! Amen Amen!

It is clinging to His Promises and He showing me that they are the Truth that I continue to walk in it. That's when He led me to start reading about Him in His Words. From listening, go into reading His Words. I wanted to obey but the weekly anxiousness about getting into Rock auditorium to hear Him and to chop the seats for Su and WK, took away my time to start reading.

In 25th May 2007, when bible study was finally stopped that I found my days free, my mind not occupied. Out of the free time, finally I picked up the bible and read wherever I went. Even in waiting for my girl in her Chinese enrichment class or waiting for my driving lesson to start, you will find me always reading the bible. Glory Glory!

From listening to reading, after reading the bible and I could see God, the Father's heart clearly; His Heart is always for His People!!! even in the Old Testament!!! I also see His Mightiness, that I know it's better to stand on His Side than on the enemy side!!! Glory Glory!!!

Then He sent Rev Joe Purcell to preach about meditating the seed and Pastor Prince to preach about meditation that I starting talking to Lord personally. As I get to know Him on a personal level, slowly, as my faith to His Goodness grow, He come closer to talk to me. It is through always looking at Jesus and His Finished Work that Lord walked closer and closer to me till He come in me so strongly that I know it's about Him and not about me.

Through yielding for Gifts of His Spirit, I realised that it's about looking at Jesus and His Finished Work at the Cross that Lord will come in me and come through me to do all the Work of the Spirit, all His Gifts. It's Him at Work and Not me at work!!! Glory Glory!!!

So, forget I said about meditation or about reading the bible. It's about Joy in the Lord that leads to all these fruits of the Spirit!!! As what He talks in 1 Corinthians 11 onwards....as I was watching in Youtube on Pastor Prince preaching to the leadership camp about 'Moving by Grace in the Holy Spirit's Gifts' that Lord put in me this post!!! Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!

Monday, April 9, 2012

The Arrival of Jesus

Looking at the time table of the world, it seem like it is getting darker and darker. I even see weird demonic activities here in Singapore.

Recently, quite near my hometown, a public bus drove right into a 66 years old lady as she was crossing the road. The traffic light was green man. She was on the 2nd part of the road crossing when a bus turn right into her path without noticing her and dragged her along. Motorist had to signal the driver before he stopped the bus. The lady died on the spot! Poor her!

Here in Singapore, in recent months, there were regular people that went to a reservoir to commit suicide. That same spot had around 8 cases if I didn't remember wrongly. I just up my firefox and the yahoo news reported another drowning at the newly created river around here.

Just last week, a married man lied to a girl that he was divorced and even proposed to her after a short trip out. The following day, she found out all his lies and she was killed by him, eyes dug out and body cut into 40 parts in total and threw downstairs!!! Policemen were searching for her body parts on the greens downstairs! Really demonic activities!!!

Pastor Prince returned from 2 weeks off to enjoy his newly born baby boy, Justin David Prince. He is a cute little one. Glory to Jesus! This week is the Passover Festival in Israel and Pastor Prince was back to preach on Resurrection Sunday! From the scripture, he showed us all sins were dealth with at the Cross and Lord  went down to Paradise to preach to the old saints, like Abraham, David etc and to bring them up. He did not go down hell to be judged. All that done at the Cross was enough! Glory Glory!

The Bible shows that when He come again, He is giving us salvation for our physical body. This is in line with what Lord revealed to me. He is coming to bring healing to the nations and to make people whole again. Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!

At this point, ex has not giving up on cursing me. Even I have promised him that I will move out by end next year, he is still not happy. Whatsoever he promised me on divorce, he is taking back. First the allowance and now the house! House price had risen to more than double the cost price. He is greedily looking at it. Even though I promised not to fight for a share of the profit but guess he does not believe me. He even tried to test my response on Sunday!

He had wanted me to transfer my name out of the ownership of this house. I was bitten once when I give him Jc's care and control and he had used police to threaten me once. I do not want to put myself in unfavourable ground again. I could give him all that profit to this house but I could not let him use the law to chase me out!!!

He thought I had forgotten that last bite. I still remember I was crying very sadly with him roaring at me like a lion and had to pray many times to Lord to take away my sadness before I could stop that cry!!! I know he is a ruthless man and I am not giving him chance to bite me again. He is not happy with it. I know Lord will protect me so I am not afraid.

I know Jesus is coming and Lord is moving me out of here soon! Glory Glory! Amen Amen! Thank You, Abba!!!

Monday, April 2, 2012

The Trap of the Devil


Many a time, when someone came out of physically abused or violence, people always asked why they did not run away. This is what those who never experience it will never able to understand the fear that associate with this trap is very real.

I just watched from youtube about a girl being abducted at 11 years old for 18 years and gave birth to 2 of the aductor's children. I am glad that finally she is being set free.

Years ago, I encountered a colleague. She is smart and good in her work. I was so happy to see that she found her 'love' and got married. But that was the start of fearful marriage. Her ex terrorised her emotionally, she had to obey him. She told me after the run away!

Even at the coldest of the cold war, her ex could just came to her to have sex for baby. He took her just as a baby producing machine and disregarded her emotionally. Church pastor had couselled each of them and the pastor could see the ex had no heart and very cold hearted towards her. They could sensed her fear of him. They advised her to separate with her ex but she was so fearful that he could came after her.

One day, with the help of church members, she took her 1st step and had to sneak away. That was how fearful she became that she dare not run. Fear trapped her, but her church friends encouraged and even helped her physically to move out of that house! Glory to Jesus! She is now married to someone who loved her very much and had waited for her for years! Glory to Jesus!

Last night, ex asked me, why I do not want to move out of this house. He expected me to be scare of those curses and run to mum's house. I told him that it's for Jc's school distance. He then said that's not far away. Well, 10-15mins by car is not the same have to wait up to 30mins sometime for the bus and then another 25-30mins for the journey back here. Also, waking up early is a problem for Jc currently, I told him.

He reminded me that I must leave by end of next year, when Jc completed her Primary school eduation. I told him that when Jc goes to Secondary, no problem for me to leave here. He asked if I fearful that I had only 1 year 9 months left.

If without Jesus, I would be worrying what is coming to me next. But Praise Jesus that I have Him to depend on. I know Abba will not let me suffer any lacks. This is what Psalm 23 said, 'the Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not lack!' He has been faithful so far, so I know He will continue to be faithful, for what was done at the Cross 2000 years ago cannot be undone! Glory Glory! Amen Amen!

In a way, after hearing ex demands for so many years and to conform to his ways to reduce all the unhappiness is what women could do. For peace of home, change the way of life or expectation. Inner soul could be hurt or unhappy, but life still goes on. As this become 'normal', one get so used to this life that if nothing great to shake this routine, one could just live on this life in this sub-normalcy. This is call adaptation.

At first ex was happy that I could lean on Jesus for comfort instead of complaining to him about devil disturbing all the time. Yes, when I first encountered it, Jc was about 1-2years old. Ex refused to move away from the rented apartment, he said it's my imagination! Now thinking back, I realise he didn't care about my well being at all. So love was not there even when we were 2-3 years into marriage.

It was when I realised who I am in Christ and growing strong in Christ that he realised he could not put me under control anymore. That was why in my 1st year in Christ, he threatened me to choose between Christ or him. This was the start of the downfall that eventually led to the divorce. Glory Glory!

When I was living in my sub-normalcy and I did not know that I was in it, Lord rescued me out of it. Now, 2 full year after everything is over, finally I could see a clear picture of everything. It was a cold heart case, just that mine was an invisible trap. To know that he does not care a tiny bit about me and does not mind to easily remove my existence from this earth is just hard to understand.

Blessed that I have Jesus with me that I need not look to devil but to Lord's wonderful work at the Cross. In His Beauty and Excellency, He has made my life complete in His Glory!!! I am just glad that I am alive and still kicking and my future will be even better than now. Do I hate him? No, emotion of the devil I will not dwell in them. I choose to look to Jesus and remain in His Shalom Peace! He has given me His Peace long ago and I shall dwell in them. Glory Glory! Amen Amen!

The New Life

I have a chat with ex just now on things that is still outstanding, about my moving out mainly. This is the last issue that is still hanging between us. The rest are completed. Lines are clearly drawn. Glory Glory!

I am so thankful to Lord Jesus for going to the Cross! He opened the way for My Daddy to love me so much. Glory Glory! Amen Amen! Without what He done 2000 years ago, I don't know where will I be?! Maybe will be still living in a deceivableness marriage!

I am so glad that Daddy God, My Abba is so good that He doesn't want me to live in a lie and shake this marriage for me and then show me the facts. Yes, it's an ugly can of worms and I am glad that I am out of that! Glory to Jesus! Amen Amen!

Tonight, I finally realised that the curses I had experienced all these years come mainly because of ex. It is no more a disappointment but more of this person I want no more in my life. Glory Glory! Amen Amen! I thank You, Lord, when I couldn't see clearly, You told me ex is unworthly and want me to cast him out.

I obeyed You because I know whatever You asked me to do is for my good. You have proven beyond doubt all his ugliness. I could see so clearly now and somehow, feel sad for those girls that fall into his trap! 'Ang Mo' like any other races, there are good and bad. Singapore girls! Open your eyes to see clearly!!!

Lord, I thank You for shaking my mum's financial life. She has notified Ad, my eldest sis about going to clear that deposits and sis is telling her not to. Mum yesterday told me that what she did had lost her trust on her forever!!! Mum was sad about it. But it is a necessary step to prevent sis from falling deeper into it.

What a joke, with the money at stake, she told mum she is unable to handle my mum's property transaction after mum is gone. Really, when one is so obsessed with money, they lost their sense of reasoning that cracks are even seen more clearly!!! Glory to Jesus for the shaking!

I thank You, Lord, for shaking Jc's study. Now she see that she must work hard to get good results. Glory Glory! Lord let her see the feeling of getting top result and then the feeling of getting botherline result. Guess she now realise she need to study and work hard to keep it up! Glory Glory! Amen Amen!

Thank You, Jesus! Abba Father, I am glad to walk closely with Jesus so that things that are not conform to Jesus way could be shaken to straighten. Glory Glory! Amen Amen!