The Trap of the Devil

Many a time, when someone came out of physically abused or violence, people always asked why they did not run away. This is what those who never experience it will never able to understand the fear that associate with this trap is very real.

I just watched from youtube about a girl being abducted at 11 years old for 18 years and gave birth to 2 of the aductor's children. I am glad that finally she is being set free.

Years ago, I encountered a colleague. She is smart and good in her work. I was so happy to see that she found her 'love' and got married. But that was the start of fearful marriage. Her ex terrorised her emotionally, she had to obey him. She told me after the run away!

Even at the coldest of the cold war, her ex could just came to her to have sex for baby. He took her just as a baby producing machine and disregarded her emotionally. Church pastor had couselled each of them and the pastor could see the ex had no heart and very cold hearted towards her. They could sensed her fear of him. They advised her to separate with her ex but she was so fearful that he could came after her.

One day, with the help of church members, she took her 1st step and had to sneak away. That was how fearful she became that she dare not run. Fear trapped her, but her church friends encouraged and even helped her physically to move out of that house! Glory to Jesus! She is now married to someone who loved her very much and had waited for her for years! Glory to Jesus!

Last night, ex asked me, why I do not want to move out of this house. He expected me to be scare of those curses and run to mum's house. I told him that it's for Jc's school distance. He then said that's not far away. Well, 10-15mins by car is not the same have to wait up to 30mins sometime for the bus and then another 25-30mins for the journey back here. Also, waking up early is a problem for Jc currently, I told him.

He reminded me that I must leave by end of next year, when Jc completed her Primary school eduation. I told him that when Jc goes to Secondary, no problem for me to leave here. He asked if I fearful that I had only 1 year 9 months left.

If without Jesus, I would be worrying what is coming to me next. But Praise Jesus that I have Him to depend on. I know Abba will not let me suffer any lacks. This is what Psalm 23 said, 'the Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not lack!' He has been faithful so far, so I know He will continue to be faithful, for what was done at the Cross 2000 years ago cannot be undone! Glory Glory! Amen Amen!

In a way, after hearing ex demands for so many years and to conform to his ways to reduce all the unhappiness is what women could do. For peace of home, change the way of life or expectation. Inner soul could be hurt or unhappy, but life still goes on. As this become 'normal', one get so used to this life that if nothing great to shake this routine, one could just live on this life in this sub-normalcy. This is call adaptation.

At first ex was happy that I could lean on Jesus for comfort instead of complaining to him about devil disturbing all the time. Yes, when I first encountered it, Jc was about 1-2years old. Ex refused to move away from the rented apartment, he said it's my imagination! Now thinking back, I realise he didn't care about my well being at all. So love was not there even when we were 2-3 years into marriage.

It was when I realised who I am in Christ and growing strong in Christ that he realised he could not put me under control anymore. That was why in my 1st year in Christ, he threatened me to choose between Christ or him. This was the start of the downfall that eventually led to the divorce. Glory Glory!

When I was living in my sub-normalcy and I did not know that I was in it, Lord rescued me out of it. Now, 2 full year after everything is over, finally I could see a clear picture of everything. It was a cold heart case, just that mine was an invisible trap. To know that he does not care a tiny bit about me and does not mind to easily remove my existence from this earth is just hard to understand.

Blessed that I have Jesus with me that I need not look to devil but to Lord's wonderful work at the Cross. In His Beauty and Excellency, He has made my life complete in His Glory!!! I am just glad that I am alive and still kicking and my future will be even better than now. Do I hate him? No, emotion of the devil I will not dwell in them. I choose to look to Jesus and remain in His Shalom Peace! He has given me His Peace long ago and I shall dwell in them. Glory Glory! Amen Amen!