In this world, where people always tries to be somebody, to hold something in your hands, to have something to boast about, to become something, is all strive to be. Those that did not hit it will not feel good about it. Especially what the world lay out to be, so many things that are tempting you and all that you want with your life.
It always good to have someone who can click with you, somebody that would listen to you...who don't want an audience? None! It's hard to be alone and harder to be lonely. However bad as it is, it is not really that bad!!!
Who is the middle child? I don't know about others, but for me, it was no fun to struck in the middle of the 5 of us. It as if the elder 2 will take care of the younger 2 and I the middle, take care of my self. My mother, who shows more care and concern to the eldest and the youngest, did not help in making me feel wanted too.
I don't have the skill of socialing did not help too. What was worst is I do not like to get too close to someone. It's like 2 magnets with the same poles, they repell if you try to put them together. All these made me seeking for love more!
When ex came along, he was good in talking about what women want to hear. He knows how to convince you to make you comfortable with him. One who so good in this area, and one who not much friends to begin with, this is the disaster union so to speak!
Coming to Lord Jesus is also another incident encounter. If I did not have that stipid devil that causing me lots of sleepless night, I won't even think of going to Jesus for help. I was happy in my ignorance. The encounter with the Lord was a force to rather than willingly come to.
In the pride of self, Lord could mould me down to seek Him. In my insecure for Love, I went deep in to find His Love, the intensity of it. It was with such, I become stable in Him. He shook the life out of the Union of Lies, to let me get away from misery. Glory Glory!
With nothingness to self, I could trust Him in His Greatness. Maybe that's why!! I discover it pretty hard to get people to let go of who they are. Maybe, Lord led me through all this emptiness and shitty life so that I could embrace all that He have! Glory Glory! Amen Amen!
I mean, who would think He would want to bless me so much and lift me so high up??? It's something not imaginable! Plus to live so long and whole family generation after generation blessed is all beyond my imagination!!!
In these world, where everyone is chasing the rat, the rat race, Lord said there is a better way! By chasing after Jesus, to listen to Him, to read His Words, to talk to Him, I am lifted up!!! Things that is gone, could be things that is growing abundantly! Bad cannot be bad anymore as it could be good under His Hand!
The nothing in me, become the Something in Him!!! Glory Glory! Amen Amen!!!
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