Recently, through Lord's leading, I realised that I must give up my focus in love. To me, life is about love, without love, nothing matters. This is why through the Grace of Jesus, I do not focus on power and status. But love, it's an area I hold on tightly.
I am a middle child among the 5 of us. Young time, I felt that my 2 elder sisters took care of my younger sister and brother. Me in the middle, nobody cares. This great desired to be love was satisfied by hubby when he came into my life 10 yrs ago. Just past my wedding anniversary. About 3 years ago, when I came to know Abba father, I desired so strongly to know his love too. I was seeking and seeking and one day, by the Grace of Lord Jesus, Abba father opened his heaven to show me that mighty power of Love. That morning, as I laze in bed upon woke up, I was meditating on his love and WOW, that was so wonderful! that even now, I still wanting to hold on to that love.
Thank you Abba father for stabling me in His love. He leads me to cast my focus of love to Lord Jesus' nail pierced hand. Then Lord revealed all about hubby to me. Through this meditation, whatever Lord told me, I did go and questioned hubby. As there are no physical proof, it's hard to argue with him. He always said that it's all imagination from my head!
He has all his documents locked up. Lord led him to did not lock the drawer once, but I did nothing. Recently, Lord led me to check on all his visa statements. From there, I gather whatever Lord told me is the truth! Praise the Lord!
When things are not proven, it's harder to believe it's real. The reality hit me hard, very hard indeed. All these months of trusting in hubby and what he had done, I could not forgive him, nor could I forgive myself for believing in him so much. By the Grace of Lord Jesus, Lord told me to look at him as the Righteousness of God in Christ and all his sins were washed by the blood of Jesus.
For others, I had no problem seeing so, but for my husband, involving my trust in him and his doing become reality, I had a hard time seeing pass his sins to Lord's Righteousness....more of I could not believe I believe so much in him.
Last night, Lord led me into a long talk with him. Even into revealing how a wife miss out in serving the husband as Lord is. This talk let me understand how the professionals could capture men heart to return to them again and again. It's about service, about attentiveness, about willingness. This become an enriching learning experience for me instead of condemning him.
This morning service, Pastor Mark preached about the society lots of influence on sex, bombarding in daily life. If love not shown at home, kids goes elsewhere to find love. It leads me to think of hubby and how much I had neglected him. With that, I forgiven myself and Lord told me to tell him that I had forgiven him of all that he had done. I gave him a tight hug and told him that I forgive him and he is still my beloved husband. Praise the Lord!
Do I still feel bitter? No, I am now flowing in the peace of Lord! Glory to Lord Jesus in leading me in this marriage turmoil. He is the Redeemer for my marriage and for my relationship with hubby. Glory to Lord Jesus! Forever and ever! Amen and Amen!
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Lord, the Healer
This morning, Lord's presence in the 1st service was very strong. Firstly, Lord impressed Pastor Prince to get those with lower back problem to stand up and get one old uncle to the front for healing prayer. Glory Glory! After that he could bent down a lot more. Hallelujah! Amen Amen!
After the back healing, Lord's presence was super strong that Lord told us to lay hand on our neighbour and I decided to lay hand on the auntie that sat next to me. Today is a special day! Usually for Sunday service, I would attend the service with Su's family. But today Su's family wanted to attend the 2nd service but Jc wanted to go for her 1st service Jkidz. No choice, have to give priority to my girl and I went alone to church.
This auntie come later, 2 seats still available up front. She sat 2 seats away from me. She told me later that usually she won't come to the front to sit. Today, Lord impressed her to come to sit beside me. By the Grace of Jesus, no one sit between us. Praise the Lord! After worship, I decided to move next to her for better view of the screen. Hallelujah!
This auntie was telling me that her knee is painful, she walked with the help of a walking stick that has 4 legs. I asked her if okay for me to lay hand, she said okay. As I put my both hands on each of her knees, she told me only the left knee cap. As Pastor Prince starts, Lord prayed in the spirit quietly. He came very strong and told me to lay one hand on her head. After service, Lord told her that he was creating the soft bone for her and told her to keep believing. At that moment, she still walks with the help of the walking stick.
Jc was hungry and wanted egg tart. As I queued up for my serving, the auntie approached me and told me that her knee cap pain is gone. Praise the Lord! She walked off carrying the walking stick in her hands, she look as if Lord renewed her youth. Glory Glory! It was fun to see her walk steadily without the help of the walking stick but carry it in her hand instead. Glory Glory to the miracle of Lord Jesus! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Amen Amen!
After the back healing, Lord's presence was super strong that Lord told us to lay hand on our neighbour and I decided to lay hand on the auntie that sat next to me. Today is a special day! Usually for Sunday service, I would attend the service with Su's family. But today Su's family wanted to attend the 2nd service but Jc wanted to go for her 1st service Jkidz. No choice, have to give priority to my girl and I went alone to church.
This auntie come later, 2 seats still available up front. She sat 2 seats away from me. She told me later that usually she won't come to the front to sit. Today, Lord impressed her to come to sit beside me. By the Grace of Jesus, no one sit between us. Praise the Lord! After worship, I decided to move next to her for better view of the screen. Hallelujah!
This auntie was telling me that her knee is painful, she walked with the help of a walking stick that has 4 legs. I asked her if okay for me to lay hand, she said okay. As I put my both hands on each of her knees, she told me only the left knee cap. As Pastor Prince starts, Lord prayed in the spirit quietly. He came very strong and told me to lay one hand on her head. After service, Lord told her that he was creating the soft bone for her and told her to keep believing. At that moment, she still walks with the help of the walking stick.
Jc was hungry and wanted egg tart. As I queued up for my serving, the auntie approached me and told me that her knee cap pain is gone. Praise the Lord! She walked off carrying the walking stick in her hands, she look as if Lord renewed her youth. Glory Glory! It was fun to see her walk steadily without the help of the walking stick but carry it in her hand instead. Glory Glory to the miracle of Lord Jesus! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Amen Amen!
Monday, June 29, 2009
Nothingness!
In the bible, no matter you are rich or poor, you are just a breath in the hand of the Almighty God. Recently, in my walk with the Lord, it has reached the point where he showed me that I am just a breath. The whole of my physical self is all His, only that small breath is myself. Glory Glory!
I went for my morning walk on Friday and Lord asked me this. If I wanted to submit the whole of me to Him fully, every inner self and outer self. All of me except that breath. Was that easy? No, how could I be nothing but just a breath. It sent shiver into my whole being.
As I had my morning walk and prayer, on the way home, Lord prompted me again if I wanted to submit the whole of myself to him. This was from the start when I walked in Christ, he first told me to submit all glory of me to Him. We all like to be praise and self glorify in our good works. None want nothing attribute to their goodness. This is how the society works. Prove your worth and get you rewards.
As a young Christian of 1-3 months old, Lord told me that as I submitted all my glory to Him, my glory stays in heaven, indestructible. It sounded good to me. It was the start of my walk where I point all glory to Him and nothing to my self.
Now walking towards the 3rd year in Christ, Lord lead me to pass the whole being of me, the whole existence of me to him, it still shivered me. However, from this long walk with Lord, I know He is all good and I am all bad. In Him I am made perfect. As such, there is nothing to loose to totally submit my being to Him. So, I told Abba that okay, you could have my whole beings, spirit, soul and body. Nothing about me belongs to me, just that breath. As I submitted to him, He comes stronger in me. Glory Glory!
After having me submit to Him, Abba also lead me to teach Su about Nothingness and get her to submit to Lord. Haha, last Saturday, Su said it so funny to be Nothingness. In her real self, when sons did something that she dislike, she will surely shout at them. But after become Nothingness, she said that it's like a noisy gong making noise out there and inner self felt calm, the usual anger self was gone!!! Praise the Lord!
As we walk inner and inner into Christ, He comes out more and more to lead us. Glory Glory! Abba, thank you for your leading of me and Su. Glory Glory! Your Presence will surely change our life! Glory Glory! Hallelujah!
I went for my morning walk on Friday and Lord asked me this. If I wanted to submit the whole of me to Him fully, every inner self and outer self. All of me except that breath. Was that easy? No, how could I be nothing but just a breath. It sent shiver into my whole being.
As I had my morning walk and prayer, on the way home, Lord prompted me again if I wanted to submit the whole of myself to him. This was from the start when I walked in Christ, he first told me to submit all glory of me to Him. We all like to be praise and self glorify in our good works. None want nothing attribute to their goodness. This is how the society works. Prove your worth and get you rewards.
As a young Christian of 1-3 months old, Lord told me that as I submitted all my glory to Him, my glory stays in heaven, indestructible. It sounded good to me. It was the start of my walk where I point all glory to Him and nothing to my self.
Now walking towards the 3rd year in Christ, Lord lead me to pass the whole being of me, the whole existence of me to him, it still shivered me. However, from this long walk with Lord, I know He is all good and I am all bad. In Him I am made perfect. As such, there is nothing to loose to totally submit my being to Him. So, I told Abba that okay, you could have my whole beings, spirit, soul and body. Nothing about me belongs to me, just that breath. As I submitted to him, He comes stronger in me. Glory Glory!
After having me submit to Him, Abba also lead me to teach Su about Nothingness and get her to submit to Lord. Haha, last Saturday, Su said it so funny to be Nothingness. In her real self, when sons did something that she dislike, she will surely shout at them. But after become Nothingness, she said that it's like a noisy gong making noise out there and inner self felt calm, the usual anger self was gone!!! Praise the Lord!
As we walk inner and inner into Christ, He comes out more and more to lead us. Glory Glory! Abba, thank you for your leading of me and Su. Glory Glory! Your Presence will surely change our life! Glory Glory! Hallelujah!
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