Christ the Redeemer

Yesterday, while waiting for my girl to finish her Chinese enrichment class, I was talking to her school mate's mum, Sn. Sn has a bad marriage too. In the sense she was kind of blur blur married to this husband of hers while her heart was for another. She said she has been ignoring her man all these while. We were talking about different in culture. Comparing ours and H, the blessed lady that was 60s but look around 40s if don't look carefully.

Sn was saying that for the sake of her son, she just let loveless marriage drift. H has actually separated from her husband, but under the law, they are still husband and wife. She did tell us how badly she was treated in her younger days by her husband.

I was telling Sn, in our culture, even though the marriage can be unhappy, most of us just tolerate the unhappiness and let the years drift past. For me, I am glad that I walked closely to the Lord. Through the past 9 years, there were tell tales signs that something was missing from my marriage.

The first time I flew to hubby's country to visit him, there was a company function and he let me joined them. That night, after the dinner, they were still gather around to drink, I saw hubby (was my boyfriend then) walked away to where the secretary was. He hugged and kissed her. I thought that was their culture and never think much of it.

In our early years of marriage, there was once my German girl friend dropped by to stay in our home for a couple of days. She was plump but had a sexy body. After shower, she would wrap a towel around her body and walked into her room. Hubby was very friendly towards her and neglected me. I was wondering why.

He was looking at girls on the street and in internet, I thought that's men usual instinct and I let him too. All these while, I didn't realise that he marry me for other reason. As I meditated, Lord revealed that he marry me because I was sexy previously. Yes, I did have a good figure previously that after knowing hubby and was happy and eating much, I had grown fatter. 2 of my male colleagues told me to be careful of my body. I asked hubby then, but at that time, he said I was not fat. So, I thought he didn't bother much about my body.

I was leading my own life facing the pc nightly as he did it too. Both of us was glued to pc all these years. These was how Lord explained of our marriage breakdown:

Lord:
'After Jc was born, she stick so closely to you. P was left alone. He tried to be a good father. You 2 quarrel of disagreement. The growing years of Jc, both of you have nothing to talk. When your mental health get worst, he distanced from you. Fly was like a relief for him from this stressful home. That is why he is closed to him.

Your 3 years of disturbance, he could not understands. You into 3 years of walking with me, he lagi don't understand the lingo you talk. He lost you long ago. Too far away to patch back. That is why, I suggest you drop him for another godly man.'

In recent meditation, Lord revealed that he was only interested in my body, not me. No wonder all these years of putting other girls/friends more important than me. Lord said that in future, when He slim me down for His Glory, P might want me back again. Lord told me not to U-turn. He told me that he don't love me as ME!

Praise the Lord that I have Abba. He is finding a man that could love me as who I am for me. He even said that I am his true love and vice versa. I din know that in this world, there is still someone, who is my true love. Lord said He preserved him for me. Glory Glory! Even I had stepped into my 40, Lord did not let me go in despair. He actually preserved this man for 42 years for me. Glory Glory!

Lord revealed that we are going to be a stunting pair on our wedding. How can I not get excited? Lord is doing a big overhaul on me and I am excited to see the end result. Glory Glory! Lord has planned how am I to meet this new man, and he will be there to make sure we fall in love, have great sex and loving marriage. Lord said that this new man will love me so much that his abundance love overflow into me that I could love him back. Lord revealed that our love will be sweeter than honey. Glory Glory!

Lord Jesus, thank you that YOU are my Great Redeemer! I need not go into old age as an old hag, all because you have redeemed the curse of old age. Thank You that Lord, you are renewing my body to be 20 years old forever. Glory Glory!

PS: Praise the Lord! He opened my eyes to see my husband clearer that he never love me. All these years of giving in to him freely.