Monday, February 25, 2013

Love Renewed

I was packing my drawer when I saw this print out of a photo taken when ex first came to Singapore and we went to a National Park in Malaysia to have an outing together.

This was discovered when I first thought I am leaving this home. Looking at the picture, I could see ex smiling eyes!!! This is the evident of love that was once there. This was taken about 14 years ago!!!

He did tell me about he ever loved me. That time our relationship is souring and I could not believe him!!! That's how bad our relationship has turned. I was helpless and did not know how to improve it. He turned to outside to look for love and the many lies hardened my heart to whatever he said. I don't know what come out of his mouth is true and I chosen to disbelieve him.

Looking at all the photos he took with Rosy, I could not sense the deep love he had with her. Looking at this photo, I saw the pure love that was once there! I was stunned that it was there and I was blinded.

He said he a mistake once, will not make it again for him and Rosy, when I asked about their marriage!!!

I actually given him up long ago and each time Lord bring him back in hope, I always have this bitter unwanting feeling for him. However, looking at this photo some weeks back, I was stunned how loving we were in the beginning!!!

I just completed meditation of the book of Proverbs again. In the last of last on the Virtuous Woman, Lord revealed that He is restoring our marriage. This is one of the 3 wishes He told me to write for my 2013 wishes. Even though I obeyed, I disbelieve the restoration is with ex!!!

However, Lord told me in the latest meditation that He is bringing him back!!! Just now at the gate, I was standing opposite him. I told him that my blessing won't be so soon and have to stay here longer. He said he already know that. He said he know there won't be one!!!

There is no more enmity between me and him. It's normal talking!!! Lord told me the only thing blocking him from returning is the blessing. He disbelieve that this is true. In fact, he disbelieved so much about Jesus to get me to choose between him and Jesus long ago!!! It was his fear of losing me, according to YC revelation long ago.

Whatever it is, Lord said He is restoring him back to my life. I actually do not want this plan, but looking at this photo, my heart melt!!! I melt so much to post this photo here to talk; revealing my previous self and him!!! We have aged and the appearance is not that similiar to this photo, especially in me, I could not recognise the old me in the current me. (Lord has told me to remove the photo!)

Anyway, I will see Lord Grace following through. In Jc's heart, she is still questioning why her daddy, me and the institute of law, why we allowed this divorce to go through!!! In her heart, she still want us together!!! She might be accepting Rosy but she knows only mummy could love her unconditionally. She saw Rosy nasty scolding on her sons, so this area is her fear.

When Lord revealed about bringing him back, my head is really still at stress about it. But I trust Jesus for His Finished Work at the Cross and this is not exactly impossible for Jesus is the God of I AM Possible in this impossible!!! I M Possible!!! This is His Imprint!!!!

After gone through 7 years of training with the initial few years deep in the spirit realm, so much thing had happened and he also had gone through many rounds of relationship with other girls. Lord said He used his relationship with other girls to train him. When he return again, he will be a loving man!!!

At this point, I don't know!!! I know He is a God of Restoration. Whatever the locusts had taken, Lord could restore them back!!! Looking at his stunned look when he thought my blessing was here the other time, I guess he will be floored when the actual blessing arrived!!!

If Lord said so, let it be so!!! I am not fighting Him. Also, Lord let me see most couples remain with their partner even when they aged. I saw they have their best choice and stick with it. I have such thought because the man next to me wasn't up to the standard of my requirement. ;PPP

If Lord could and will restore us together and renewed our youth, surely this relationship will last a long time and Jc would be happy again. All these years of her fear and her acceptance of those fear, is molding her. Looking at her younger days photos, I am glad she is a lot sensible now!!!

I don't know how ex and me will end up together again. All these have to depend on the Grace of Jesus!!! After all, for the past 10 months, they, Rosy n ex, have worked much of putting the relationship, with the kids, altogether since last July. It was with this that Jc grew to accept the relationship. But guess she does not like to be toss between daddy and mummy.

At this point of time, I am not even looking to ex nor any future man. I have given up all of it to let Lord bring whoever He has in mind to me. Be it ex or not, time will tell!!!

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