Wednesday, November 5, 2014

The Field of Flowers

Last Sunday as I walked towards the SMRT station, I saw the field in front of Star Vista grow with Purple Morning Glory in the foreground and tiny yellow flowers in the back ground!!! This is of Great significant to me.

When I was young, living in a rented land property, this Morning Glory was the 1st flower that I ever know and took notice. Then ever since my family shifted because of one of my uncle, there wasn't any of such flowers anymore.

Even the flowers grown at my previous marital home, the joy of seeing the flower didn't bring me as much a joy as to see a big area of the field covers with it and somehow it brought joy to me.

In the back ground I saw the yellow flower, it reminded me of Israel. I was complaining to Lord of why He did not bless me with beautifully blossom big flowers but those tiny yellow one!!!

I was there early of Spring years ago!!! But now I saw it again, it brought me joy of my Israel trip years ago!!! Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!

I guess the time of manifestation is ripe and even the flowers smiles!!!

I was so joyful that I shared a little blessing with the old lady sitting by the path selling tissue!!!

I used to like yellow rose years ago. But guess it means my relationship with ex didn't last!!!

Now my mood has shifted and I like the lilies more now!!!

It's 6:07am now. I have been awoken since 3:30am by all those things that disturb my sleep!!! But Lord is Faithful!!! Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!

I know my life will turn for the better!!! Be it whichever ways it turns!!!

Life is good!!! I am a sheep and my shepherd will leads me. I am the Glory of the man that will have me!!! I come from man, his rib, with the connection it will be home again!!!

I miss the hugs on the side of man. Ex used to give good comforting one even though his heart might be far far away!!! He sees signs of unhappiness he will get me to his side and give a tight warming hugs that quiet down the soul!

He knows how to calm his woman down to submit to him!!! He never let an unhappiness stays in argument !!! He will always end with a love making to show he is still in power!!!

One thing, for him who do not believe in Jesus, he reject condemnation as the bible said. There is therefore now no condemnation in Christ Jesus!!!

I guess this is a good point for men to pick up even in disagreement!!! Whatever unhappiness will be gone after the makeout!!!

That's why even in this loveless marriage, that's how he kept me in my place!!!

Why Sex is important to me is because of him!!! Even though I didn't get the fully enjoyment that I crave for, be it I horny or not, or feel like it or not, he used his god given authority to take on me and give me pleasure that I will not deny him.

Even those years the relationship breaking down, he will surely take me on at least once a month. That's why I took 2-3 yrs to finally let go of him fully!!! For he knows how to hug to give comfort even when facing divorce and I was in great unhappiness.

That's why I said he played his game well!!! That's why I need a God to tell me I did not experience true love!!! And need to have His Great Hugs to know ex emptiness.

It was a great learning journey for me!!! From the Great Pretender!!!

I would turn back to him as I know all these comforts but all the rest of what he had done is putting the stop. Yes, with the new body if he happy with it, and change his mind to wanting me, I need strong open eyes of The Lord to lead me away. Otherwise, I would be suck right back to him again.

As he knows how to comfort woman!!!! And I am craving for it!!!

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