Yesterday, I went to Patricia King site and listen to 3 pastors talking about their fathers.
One said the father loves her so much and another said that the father told her that she could do all things she wanted. I was most touched by the man talking about his father took a suitcase and walk out of their home when he was young!
He said from that day on, the mum had to take on both the role of mother and father and he said life is never the same again.
Even though his mum and grandma loved them so much, he said there is something about the mum that was lost forever. He said at 40+ and the mum 70+, they knew something is missing from her being just a mum previously!!!
He was made fun of in school and even in church, the words that mean well was hurtful to him. He has no clue on how to be a man. He had to look at friend's father and other role model around to learn how to be a man!!!
He lost his dad from 7-14 yrs old and at 14, while playing outside the house, he saw his dad's old pickup truck drove near and stopped in front of their house, with him was his current wife.
This pastor had a burning question to ask him but never got the chance. His dad is dead now and he got no chance to ask!!!
He want to know why his dad left them. He want to know, when situation become impossible, why can't he tried work things out for the sake of the kids. He missed those time the dad spent time alone with him, he misses a dad to tell him, son, you are okay!!! The affirmation from a dad is so important to his growth!!! Till now, this part is void in him forever!!!
As I listened to him, I wondered me as a mom, being missing from Jc's life, what is the implication. What I noticed was the hook on her skirts wouldn't properly sow! And her uniform was not ironed. She was telling me it's okay but I know she appreciated that I helped her to fix her problem of loose hook!!!
Father and mother hold different role!! Dad's role is to affirm and mum's role is to nurture, to care for their needs and their comforts. Each of the role cannot take over by the other parent as man and woman are mould to be different!!!
Even though Jc said that she is used to it, apparently, she is not!!! At least, her school result is the tell tale sign that she does not have the motivation to work hard for herself. So far life is wasting away!!! It has to take a great effort for her to turn to study!!! And I am not sure she want to put in the effort when life is sucks!!! She wants to see how sucks she could go!!! That's her currently!!!
If there is anything that could break the brokenness, only Jesus and His Finished Work, His Much More Abundance of Grace and His Mercy!!!
I do care for her wellness but ex, I have no more heart to return to him!!! It's a end of path for me!!! If things going to happen, Lord has to clear everything he is unhappy with me out of me and enhance me. Lord also have to do likewise to him. Also the Love needed for the relationship to work!!!
Do I forseen such? No, I am not looking forward to it at all!!! God bless!!!
Abba, thank You for Your insight of things of family!!! I thank You for Your Teaching!!! Glory Glory!!! Amen!!! Amen!!!
Saturday, May 31, 2014
Friday, May 30, 2014
The Full Cycle of Divorce
Divorce, plainly explain, is when a couple sealed in a covenant of marriage decided to break fully this commitment to each other. But actually this commitment never fully broke even after.
The implication usually both side of the union were affected. Even for those that goes for other person. It is about guilt and to cure the guilt, defense and anger is shown!!!
For the one suffering, it's regret, pain and even depressed.
Children produced in the union are the most hurt! For their idea of a family is gone! They gone through blaming themselves for the parents problem. They went through fear, don't know who will still love them, who will still care for them and they will see where they want to trust and commit the security.
What I don't get it is why Jc reacted differently to her daddy and to me.
Her daddy, she just accept whoever come along and reacted if that person could establish a relationship with her. If yes, she could place her loyalty with her and forget totally about me!!! Maybe also she knew by default, she could turn to me as and when she needed.
However, in the recent trick played on me, when she thought I am going for someone else, her default fall back is gone and she felt betrayal and lost her trust in me and lost her hope of any reunion of her parents!! She distanced herself from me!!!!
Her decision put me in a trap!!! It's either I remain single and she happier or I find someone and totally lost her!!! Either choice, it won't make me happy!!! Why father and daughter likes to give me choice that is not a choice at all!!!
Lord leads me to see the full cycle of the divorce and I read that it had no added value to the teen for the parent to remarry as it involve them having to accept a stranger that the teen have no clue of. Also, seeing parent intimacy with the new partner and how the parent treat them now, all are new areas to look into!!!
She had told me she don't want to get marry sometime back in the early stage of the divorce!!!
Then from all these, then I understand what ex went through and why he is not into marriage!!! With so much soul wounds in him, no wonder!!!
Recently, with the understanding, I prayed for him to be loosen from all those soul wounds that he had been carrying all these years!!!
I thank Abba for leading me see the full cycle!!! No wonder He don't want couple to break off!!! Now I finally understands what it causes to each of the family members!!! I thank Jesus is the Redeemer and whatever the locust has stolen, he is able to restore with even better deal!!!
I thank Jesus for His Finished Work that Nothing is Impossible with Him!!! Glory Glory!!!
The implication usually both side of the union were affected. Even for those that goes for other person. It is about guilt and to cure the guilt, defense and anger is shown!!!
For the one suffering, it's regret, pain and even depressed.
Children produced in the union are the most hurt! For their idea of a family is gone! They gone through blaming themselves for the parents problem. They went through fear, don't know who will still love them, who will still care for them and they will see where they want to trust and commit the security.
What I don't get it is why Jc reacted differently to her daddy and to me.
Her daddy, she just accept whoever come along and reacted if that person could establish a relationship with her. If yes, she could place her loyalty with her and forget totally about me!!! Maybe also she knew by default, she could turn to me as and when she needed.
However, in the recent trick played on me, when she thought I am going for someone else, her default fall back is gone and she felt betrayal and lost her trust in me and lost her hope of any reunion of her parents!! She distanced herself from me!!!!
Her decision put me in a trap!!! It's either I remain single and she happier or I find someone and totally lost her!!! Either choice, it won't make me happy!!! Why father and daughter likes to give me choice that is not a choice at all!!!
Lord leads me to see the full cycle of the divorce and I read that it had no added value to the teen for the parent to remarry as it involve them having to accept a stranger that the teen have no clue of. Also, seeing parent intimacy with the new partner and how the parent treat them now, all are new areas to look into!!!
She had told me she don't want to get marry sometime back in the early stage of the divorce!!!
Then from all these, then I understand what ex went through and why he is not into marriage!!! With so much soul wounds in him, no wonder!!!
Recently, with the understanding, I prayed for him to be loosen from all those soul wounds that he had been carrying all these years!!!
I thank Abba for leading me see the full cycle!!! No wonder He don't want couple to break off!!! Now I finally understands what it causes to each of the family members!!! I thank Jesus is the Redeemer and whatever the locust has stolen, he is able to restore with even better deal!!!
I thank Jesus for His Finished Work that Nothing is Impossible with Him!!! Glory Glory!!!
Wednesday, May 28, 2014
The Coming of The Kingdom of God
Luke 17:20-21
'And having been asked by the Pharisees when the Kingdom of God is coming,
He answer them and said, "The Kingdom of God does not come by means of, or in company with, close observation, and they will not say, 'Behold it is here', 'There it is',
for behold the Kingdom of God is within you."
We, who have accepted Christ truly will have the Kingdom of God with us!!!
The days of the Son of Man
Luke 17:26-33
'And just as it was in the days of Noah, so also it will be in the Days of the Son of Man:
they will be eating, they were drinking, they were marrying, they were being given in marriage, until that day Noah entered the Ark and the flood came to kill everyone.
Likewise just as it happened in the days of Lot:
they were drinking, they were buying, they were selling, they were planting, they were building; but on the day of Lot came out from Sodom, it will rained fire and brimstone from Heaven and killed all.
It will be according to these things on the day the Son of Man is revealed.
In that Day, he who will be on the roof and his property in the house, must Not Go Down to take it, and likewise the one in the field must Not Return for the things behind.
You must Continually Remember Lot's Wife.
Whoever would seek to keep his own life safe will lose it but whoever would lose will preserve it alive. '
It is about we give our life to Christ and we will be saved. Those who refused to give his life to accept Christ will lose it!!! When saw abnormal things happening, do not go for own property but ran for life!!! Lot's wife turned and look back, aka waste time and was judged and turned into stone!
Luke 17:34-37
'I say to you, "on this night two will be in bed, the one will be taken along, and the other will be left; two women will be grinding upon the stone, the one will be taken along but the other will be left.
Two will be in the field, one will be taken and the other will be left."
And when they answered they said to Him, "When, Lord?"
And He said to them, "Where the body is, there also the Eagles will Gathered."'
Whether it is Judgement Day or Resurrection, do you notice our part is just to accept Christ!!! Then we will be able to enter the Real Ark!!! And not be suffering the Judgement!!! It is not our part to be resurrected, it is His Part!!!
I thank Lord that I will not be around to see the Judgement on this earth!!! But as Lord promised that He will not flood the earth again, that means this time round the judgement is by fire!!!
So, have you receive Christ or are you waiting for the Judgement to come first before you regret??? Maybe by then no more Christ for you to accept!!! The 1500 years He give for His Grace to be around for men to come back to God in the bible is Now!!! Do not wait!!!
'And having been asked by the Pharisees when the Kingdom of God is coming,
He answer them and said, "The Kingdom of God does not come by means of, or in company with, close observation, and they will not say, 'Behold it is here', 'There it is',
for behold the Kingdom of God is within you."
We, who have accepted Christ truly will have the Kingdom of God with us!!!
The days of the Son of Man
Luke 17:26-33
'And just as it was in the days of Noah, so also it will be in the Days of the Son of Man:
they will be eating, they were drinking, they were marrying, they were being given in marriage, until that day Noah entered the Ark and the flood came to kill everyone.
Likewise just as it happened in the days of Lot:
they were drinking, they were buying, they were selling, they were planting, they were building; but on the day of Lot came out from Sodom, it will rained fire and brimstone from Heaven and killed all.
It will be according to these things on the day the Son of Man is revealed.
In that Day, he who will be on the roof and his property in the house, must Not Go Down to take it, and likewise the one in the field must Not Return for the things behind.
You must Continually Remember Lot's Wife.
Whoever would seek to keep his own life safe will lose it but whoever would lose will preserve it alive. '
It is about we give our life to Christ and we will be saved. Those who refused to give his life to accept Christ will lose it!!! When saw abnormal things happening, do not go for own property but ran for life!!! Lot's wife turned and look back, aka waste time and was judged and turned into stone!
Luke 17:34-37
'I say to you, "on this night two will be in bed, the one will be taken along, and the other will be left; two women will be grinding upon the stone, the one will be taken along but the other will be left.
Two will be in the field, one will be taken and the other will be left."
And when they answered they said to Him, "When, Lord?"
And He said to them, "Where the body is, there also the Eagles will Gathered."'
Whether it is Judgement Day or Resurrection, do you notice our part is just to accept Christ!!! Then we will be able to enter the Real Ark!!! And not be suffering the Judgement!!! It is not our part to be resurrected, it is His Part!!!
I thank Lord that I will not be around to see the Judgement on this earth!!! But as Lord promised that He will not flood the earth again, that means this time round the judgement is by fire!!!
So, have you receive Christ or are you waiting for the Judgement to come first before you regret??? Maybe by then no more Christ for you to accept!!! The 1500 years He give for His Grace to be around for men to come back to God in the bible is Now!!! Do not wait!!!
Monday, May 26, 2014
A Peep into Hell
This view of Hell given by Lord Jesus is the same as those who posted in YouTube regarding their hell experiences!
The story of the Rich man and Lazarus:
Luke 16:19-31
'And there was a certain wealthy man, and he dressed in purple garment and fine linen, enjoying himself splendidly day after day.
And some poor man named Lazarus, covered with sores, had been lying at his gate desiring to be fed from the things that fell from the table of the wealthy one; but even the dogs that came were licking his sores.
And it happened the poor man died and was carried away by angels to the bosom of Abraham (a par taker of the same blessedness as Abraham in Paradise);
And the Rich man died and was buried. And in Hades, as he Was In Torment, when he lifted his eyes he saw Abraham afar and Lazarus in front of him.
Then he called out he said, "Father Abraham, you must immediately have mercy on me and you must now send Lazarus so that he could dip the tip of his finger in water and it would cool my tongue, because I am suffering in this flame."
But Abraham said, "Child, you must remember that you took good things in your life, and Lazarus likewise the bad things; but now here he is comforted, and you are in Great Pain.
And in all these distances between us and you, a Great Chasm has been established, so that those who wish to crossover from here to you Would Not Able, and they Could Not Cross from there to us."
And he said, "Then I ask you, Father, that you would send him to my father's house, for I have five brothers, so that he could warn them, so that they would not come into this place of torture. "
But Abraham said, "They have Moses and the Prophets; they must listen to them now."
But he said, "No, Father Abraham, but if someone from the dead would go to them they will repent."
But he said to him, "If they do not listen to Moses and the Prophets, then they will not be persuaded if someone would rise from the dead."'
Today, all your sins and lawlessness were judged in the Body of Jesus and He said, "It is Finished!". Are you willing to accept Jesus into your life so that you can avoid hell and enjoy Heaven instead?
The prayer is very simple! You could ask Jesus to save you or ask Him to come into your life and be your God!!! When you pray, do not doubt in your heart and God the Father surely hears you!!! Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!
If you think properly, I am not your problem!!! Your problem is sin and lawlessness!!! If I go away or die is a solution, then why my parents death have totally no effect of improving your situation??? Think Think!!!
I prayed that your veil is washed by the blood of Jesus to see clearly!!! Amen Amen!!!
The story of the Rich man and Lazarus:
Luke 16:19-31
'And there was a certain wealthy man, and he dressed in purple garment and fine linen, enjoying himself splendidly day after day.
And some poor man named Lazarus, covered with sores, had been lying at his gate desiring to be fed from the things that fell from the table of the wealthy one; but even the dogs that came were licking his sores.
And it happened the poor man died and was carried away by angels to the bosom of Abraham (a par taker of the same blessedness as Abraham in Paradise);
And the Rich man died and was buried. And in Hades, as he Was In Torment, when he lifted his eyes he saw Abraham afar and Lazarus in front of him.
Then he called out he said, "Father Abraham, you must immediately have mercy on me and you must now send Lazarus so that he could dip the tip of his finger in water and it would cool my tongue, because I am suffering in this flame."
But Abraham said, "Child, you must remember that you took good things in your life, and Lazarus likewise the bad things; but now here he is comforted, and you are in Great Pain.
And in all these distances between us and you, a Great Chasm has been established, so that those who wish to crossover from here to you Would Not Able, and they Could Not Cross from there to us."
And he said, "Then I ask you, Father, that you would send him to my father's house, for I have five brothers, so that he could warn them, so that they would not come into this place of torture. "
But Abraham said, "They have Moses and the Prophets; they must listen to them now."
But he said, "No, Father Abraham, but if someone from the dead would go to them they will repent."
But he said to him, "If they do not listen to Moses and the Prophets, then they will not be persuaded if someone would rise from the dead."'
Today, all your sins and lawlessness were judged in the Body of Jesus and He said, "It is Finished!". Are you willing to accept Jesus into your life so that you can avoid hell and enjoy Heaven instead?
The prayer is very simple! You could ask Jesus to save you or ask Him to come into your life and be your God!!! When you pray, do not doubt in your heart and God the Father surely hears you!!! Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!
If you think properly, I am not your problem!!! Your problem is sin and lawlessness!!! If I go away or die is a solution, then why my parents death have totally no effect of improving your situation??? Think Think!!!
I prayed that your veil is washed by the blood of Jesus to see clearly!!! Amen Amen!!!
Sunday, May 25, 2014
The Lion Den
Today, Lord told a story of Daniel and the Lion Den to tell me what will happen to those who send me to the Lion Den. The devil goes around roaring like a Lion - he pretended to be Lord Jesus to judge His Children. Lord Jesus is the Lion of Judah!!! Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!
For no reason, these 8 years, I was being thrown to the Lion Den but each time Lord delivered me. Praise Jesus!!! He is telling me the time is coming for them to face the Lion too!!! Glory Glory!!!
This is what I shared in Traditional Chinese Learning, about what one punch out, they will receive the equal forces punch back at them!!! Many teachers in the Traditional Chinese Teaching told the testimonies of what they went through and it really, no more and no less!!!! Hallelujah!!! Amen Amen!!!
In Daniel 6, those that did not like Daniel got the King to passed a law that if anyone prayed to deity or man, instead of the King, they had to be thrown into the Lion Den!!!
The King loved Daniel much but had no choice but to throw him into the Lion Den.
Daniel 6:20-28
'Then the King rose very early in the morning and went in haste to the Den of the Lions.
And when He came to the Den, he cried with a lamentable voice to Daniel:
The King spoke and said to Daniel, "O Daniel, servant of the Living God, is your God, whom you serve continually, able to deliver you from the Lions?"
Then Daniel said to the King, "O King, live forever! My God has sent His Angel and has shut the Lions' mouths, so they have not hurt me: for as much as Innocence Was Found in me before Him and also before you, O King, I have done no hurt."
Then the King was exceeding glad for him and commanded that they should take Daniel up out of the Den. So Daniel was taken up out of the Den and no manner of hurt was found on him, because he Believed in his God.
And the King commanded and they brought those men Who Has Accused Daniel and they cast Them, Their Children and Their Wives, and the Lions had the Mastery of them, and broke all their bones in pieces before they came to the bottom of the Den.
Then King Darius wrote to all peoples, nations, and languages that dwell in all the earth, Peace be multiplied to you.
I make a decree, that in every dominion of my Kingdom, men tremble and fear before the God of Daniel, for He is the Living God and Steadfast Forever and His Kingdom, which Will Not be Destroyed, and His Dominion Will Be even to The End.
He Delivers and Rescues and He Works Signs and Wonders in Heaven and in Earth, who Has Delivered Daniel from the Power of the Lions.'
I thank You, Abba Father, for taking good care of me!!! I pray for the Peace of their hearts on their days of consequences!!! I pray in the Name of Jesus!!! Amen Amen!!!
And the Traditional Chinese Teaching Lecturer shared that if you yet to see the consequences, it just a matter of the time is not yet here, it does not mean no consequences!!!
For no reason, these 8 years, I was being thrown to the Lion Den but each time Lord delivered me. Praise Jesus!!! He is telling me the time is coming for them to face the Lion too!!! Glory Glory!!!
This is what I shared in Traditional Chinese Learning, about what one punch out, they will receive the equal forces punch back at them!!! Many teachers in the Traditional Chinese Teaching told the testimonies of what they went through and it really, no more and no less!!!! Hallelujah!!! Amen Amen!!!
In Daniel 6, those that did not like Daniel got the King to passed a law that if anyone prayed to deity or man, instead of the King, they had to be thrown into the Lion Den!!!
The King loved Daniel much but had no choice but to throw him into the Lion Den.
Daniel 6:20-28
'Then the King rose very early in the morning and went in haste to the Den of the Lions.
And when He came to the Den, he cried with a lamentable voice to Daniel:
The King spoke and said to Daniel, "O Daniel, servant of the Living God, is your God, whom you serve continually, able to deliver you from the Lions?"
Then Daniel said to the King, "O King, live forever! My God has sent His Angel and has shut the Lions' mouths, so they have not hurt me: for as much as Innocence Was Found in me before Him and also before you, O King, I have done no hurt."
Then the King was exceeding glad for him and commanded that they should take Daniel up out of the Den. So Daniel was taken up out of the Den and no manner of hurt was found on him, because he Believed in his God.
And the King commanded and they brought those men Who Has Accused Daniel and they cast Them, Their Children and Their Wives, and the Lions had the Mastery of them, and broke all their bones in pieces before they came to the bottom of the Den.
Then King Darius wrote to all peoples, nations, and languages that dwell in all the earth, Peace be multiplied to you.
I make a decree, that in every dominion of my Kingdom, men tremble and fear before the God of Daniel, for He is the Living God and Steadfast Forever and His Kingdom, which Will Not be Destroyed, and His Dominion Will Be even to The End.
He Delivers and Rescues and He Works Signs and Wonders in Heaven and in Earth, who Has Delivered Daniel from the Power of the Lions.'
I thank You, Abba Father, for taking good care of me!!! I pray for the Peace of their hearts on their days of consequences!!! I pray in the Name of Jesus!!! Amen Amen!!!
And the Traditional Chinese Teaching Lecturer shared that if you yet to see the consequences, it just a matter of the time is not yet here, it does not mean no consequences!!!
Friday, May 23, 2014
The Robe of Many Colours
I praise Jesus that while I was enjoying the Love of Jesus yesterday morning, Lord clothed me with the Robe of Many Colours! The crown was colourful too!!! With them was the Golden Sword and a Big Pot of Manna!!!
Just as Joseph in the bible dream of that, I saw that in a clear vision!!! Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!
Guess it is the significant of the Time, even though I don't know how long it will manifest!!! Joseph took many years and gone through many hardship before arriving there, the man below the Pharaoh.
Well, I also been through a lot spiritually!!! But if all these is enough, I don't know!!! As Lord will not reveal anything that is worrying before its time!!!
I walk long enough to know that!!! For things uncomfortable, He will just let it come and let me experience!!! Glory Glory!!!
I will have to let Him lead me day by day and see how it goes!!!
Forever, I will trust my Lord!!! Even for relationship as we supposed to draw the Love and the Strength from The Lord to love our spouse and not draw it from him to dry him up!!! With man, it's more fun to give and with God, we draw!!! Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!
It's with the Joy of The Lord that things sustained, so Focus should always remain with The Lord!!! Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!
Just as Joseph in the bible dream of that, I saw that in a clear vision!!! Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!
Guess it is the significant of the Time, even though I don't know how long it will manifest!!! Joseph took many years and gone through many hardship before arriving there, the man below the Pharaoh.
Well, I also been through a lot spiritually!!! But if all these is enough, I don't know!!! As Lord will not reveal anything that is worrying before its time!!!
I walk long enough to know that!!! For things uncomfortable, He will just let it come and let me experience!!! Glory Glory!!!
I will have to let Him lead me day by day and see how it goes!!!
Forever, I will trust my Lord!!! Even for relationship as we supposed to draw the Love and the Strength from The Lord to love our spouse and not draw it from him to dry him up!!! With man, it's more fun to give and with God, we draw!!! Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!
It's with the Joy of The Lord that things sustained, so Focus should always remain with The Lord!!! Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!
Wednesday, May 21, 2014
Life or Death
Morning I was woken up at 4:30am from a strong attack on my head that lasted from late afternoon. On off wake up and sleep under the power!!!
As I mediated upon waking up, I saw this parable told by Lord Jesus about a man so happy that his investments are yielding results and time to harvest. The following two verse is one from his own thought and one God talking!!!
Luke 12:19-20
'And I will say to my being, "Self, you have many good possessions being stored up for many years to come: you must continually rest (aka take a break), you must right now eat, drink enjoy yourself."'
Then God said to him, "Foolish man, on This Night they are Demanding Back Your Life from you: but what you have prepared to whom will it be given?"'
As I read this verse about the Devil demanding the Life of man, suddenly I realised that this is happening on those who has yet to Receive Christ!!! As what the father of a girl from NCC saw, he said 2 men was trying to pull him to join a bus load of people!!! He was unconscious in the ICU and had just pray to Jesus in his unconsciousness that afternoon and the Demand came for His Life that night!!!
He had to struggled with them about he had accepted Christ that afternoon before finally they let him go!!! He was out of ICU that week and told his daughter after he was transferred to the Normal ward!!!
Those who had accepted Christ, a doctor, who was in-charged of near death patients shared that the moment for them to go, there always a Glory Light will appear and he saw peace in the patients, no matter what sickness were killing them. It just like both my parents, it's like in joyful sleep!!!
This doctor shared that for those who didn't accept Christ, darkness came and then that patient died!!!
He was so convicted that he accepted Christ!!!
No wonder those who didn't accept Christ, when they go, their face is never at peace! Because they had they lives being forcefully pulled away from them, how to be happy??? It's a DEMAND for your life from the darkness!!!
Personally I encountered once with ex as I felt his coldness body and prayed to Lord to pump the Blood of Jesus into him!!! When darkness came, I could not see my hand nor him!!! But as I continued to pray for him, darkness had no choice but to leave!!! Glory to Jesus!!!
That's why I am very assured of Heaven exist the bible way and not what darkness tried to fool people on other stories of spiritual as the darkness don't want man to encounter the Real God!!!
My heart is to see as many as possible to get salvation!!! As I always told my relatives, if man way could work, God the Father, need not send God the Son, Lord Jesus to die for all people!!! But man have to make his personal choice to accept Jesus, no one could do that for him or her!!!
Have you accepted Jesus?
As I mediated upon waking up, I saw this parable told by Lord Jesus about a man so happy that his investments are yielding results and time to harvest. The following two verse is one from his own thought and one God talking!!!
Luke 12:19-20
'And I will say to my being, "Self, you have many good possessions being stored up for many years to come: you must continually rest (aka take a break), you must right now eat, drink enjoy yourself."'
Then God said to him, "Foolish man, on This Night they are Demanding Back Your Life from you: but what you have prepared to whom will it be given?"'
As I read this verse about the Devil demanding the Life of man, suddenly I realised that this is happening on those who has yet to Receive Christ!!! As what the father of a girl from NCC saw, he said 2 men was trying to pull him to join a bus load of people!!! He was unconscious in the ICU and had just pray to Jesus in his unconsciousness that afternoon and the Demand came for His Life that night!!!
He had to struggled with them about he had accepted Christ that afternoon before finally they let him go!!! He was out of ICU that week and told his daughter after he was transferred to the Normal ward!!!
Those who had accepted Christ, a doctor, who was in-charged of near death patients shared that the moment for them to go, there always a Glory Light will appear and he saw peace in the patients, no matter what sickness were killing them. It just like both my parents, it's like in joyful sleep!!!
This doctor shared that for those who didn't accept Christ, darkness came and then that patient died!!!
He was so convicted that he accepted Christ!!!
No wonder those who didn't accept Christ, when they go, their face is never at peace! Because they had they lives being forcefully pulled away from them, how to be happy??? It's a DEMAND for your life from the darkness!!!
Personally I encountered once with ex as I felt his coldness body and prayed to Lord to pump the Blood of Jesus into him!!! When darkness came, I could not see my hand nor him!!! But as I continued to pray for him, darkness had no choice but to leave!!! Glory to Jesus!!!
That's why I am very assured of Heaven exist the bible way and not what darkness tried to fool people on other stories of spiritual as the darkness don't want man to encounter the Real God!!!
My heart is to see as many as possible to get salvation!!! As I always told my relatives, if man way could work, God the Father, need not send God the Son, Lord Jesus to die for all people!!! But man have to make his personal choice to accept Jesus, no one could do that for him or her!!!
Have you accepted Jesus?
Tuesday, May 20, 2014
Commandment of Love
1 I APPEAL to you therefore, brethren, and
beg of you in view of [all] the Mercies of God, to make a decisive
dedication of your bodies [presenting all your members and faculties] as
a living sacrifice, holy (devoted, consecrated) and well pleasing to
God, which is your reasonable (rational, intelligent) service and spiritual worship.
2
Do not be conformed to this world (this age), [fashioned after and
adapted to its external, superficial customs], but be transformed
(changed) by the [entire] renewal of your mind [by its new ideals and
its new attitude], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what is the
good and acceptable and perfect will of God, even the thing which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His sight for you].
3 For by the Grace (unmerited favor of God) given to me I warn everyone among you not to estimate and
think of himself more highly than he ought [not to have an exaggerated
opinion of his own importance], but to rate his ability with sober
judgment, each according to the degree of faith apportioned by God to
him.
9
[Let your] love be sincere (a real thing); hate what is evil [loathe
all ungodliness, turn in horror from wickedness], but hold fast to that
which is good.
10 Love one another with brotherly affection [as members of one family], giving precedence and showing honor to one another.
11 Never lag in zeal and in earnest endeavor; be aglow and burning with the Spirit, serving the Lord.
12 Rejoice and exult in hope; be steadfast and patient in suffering and tribulation; be constant in prayer.
13 Contribute to the needs of God's people [sharing in the necessities of the saints]; pursue the practice of hospitality.
14 Bless those who persecute you [who are cruel in their attitude toward you]; bless and do not curse them.
15 Rejoice with those who rejoice [sharing others' joy], and weep with those who weep [sharing others' grief].
16
Live in harmony with one another; do not be haughty (snobbish,
high-minded, exclusive), but readily adjust yourself to [people, things]
and give yourselves to humble tasks. Never overestimate yourself or be wise in your own conceits. [Prov. 3:7.]
17 Repay no one evil for evil, but take thought for what is honest and proper and noble [aiming to be above reproach] in the sight of everyone. [Prov. 20:22.]
18 If possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
19
Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave the way open for [God's]
wrath; for it is written, Vengeance is Mine, I will repay (requite),
says the Lord. [Deut. 32:35.]
20
But if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him
drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals upon his head. [Prov.
25:21, 22.]
(Romans 12:2, 3, 9-12 AMP)
Sunday, May 18, 2014
My Life
I decided to write one more post to show you when life is bad, it's not so bad actually!!!
Young time, when I went kindergarten, for no reason, I would fell down and cut myself!! Much too often till mum said, 'don't know how you walk flatten road that you could fall!!!'
At the same time, I had a uncle that would wanted to beat my grandma for his mental illness. If grandma ran off to neighbour house to hide, he would come with metal rod to try to force our bedroom door opened, I was still very young then, yet to attend kindergarten! So I was fearful of him!!!
When my family shifted out of that house, he came to where we were and hoped to find us!!! Those were the fearful time of all of us!!!
Then around teenage year, spirit came pressed on my neck that I decided not to believe the idol, my parents believe as it did not protect me! But even so, I have this knowing that spiritual problem still have to rely on God!!!
In my 20s, I encountered a few events of bad happened to me and my soul that I went into depression that I looked scary to my colleagues as I smiled to cover my inabilities while they took that smile as crazy!!!
So, many looked down on me! But there was some colleagues that emailed me positive outlook to life and also, there was a male colleague that showed special care and my family also always voiced cares about me!!!
Devil was pumping very negative thoughts in me that he told me I was a outcast and cannot fit into the society!!!! At that time, I was wondering if I should kill myself!!! But, everytime, when I had such thoughts, I would also think of 'if I die, my parents and siblings will be very sad' and in order not to break their hearts, I decided to live!
Then I thought I was already at the rock bottom of darkness, I won't get any woser!!! So, the only way was to climb out of this dark tunnel! And I believed 'I will see light at the end of the dark tunnel!!! So every negative thought I changed to positive before accepting into me!!! I used 2-3 years to get out of that!!! When I was out, I became very positive!!! Glory to Jesus!!!
I know Lord was with me all those years as He did speak to me. Even twice when I was face to face with approaching car, the car stopped for me to cross the road!!! I had came out between buses!!! The car driver would not had seen me but Lord preserved my life!!!
Even though my depression didn't kill me, I faced stress that bust my brain when I tried to think deep!!!
I was not confident of marriage but ex said what's there to worry as his side of the family also had their problem. That's why he gave me lots of assurance that eventually, I married him!!
Well, even though I had to faced the PC every day, as he faced it every day too, out of no choice, I had to be like him!!! Originally I was just living the life he wanted and catered to all his diet and need!! When Jc came, then quarrels began as every problem about Jc, was my problem! I got all the blame and all the I must do this and do that!!!
This is why I appreciated Grace of Jesus so much!!! As I was weighed down by all his laws that he even tried to twist illogical events to his logic!!! That's why Lord said I don't know what is true love!!! Basically life under law is hard to live!!!
Then satan came to disturb me!!! As parents Chinese temple, the person that let the spirit used her body died and for one year, I had no choice but to suffer the nightly terror that punched me to prevent me to sleep! But when parent's temple found someone to hold the spirit, I only could get one day of unreal peace!!!
Subsequently, I went to different spiritual outlet to get my help but Lama n Fengshui said nothing wrong with my house!!! Those that said had problem could not help me clear all!! Eventually as I wonder which other God I could go to help, 'Jesus' was whispered to me!!!
With Christ fear and intimidating spirit was gone!!! But came the spirits that tried to kill me in which ever ways possible after Lord tested me to stretch me emotionally till the end!!! Lord tested me for one year I think, but spiritual attack came from 2008 till now!!!
So, all those years of endurance from one case to another are all for me to endure even more!!!
When Lord said it's ending soon, I find myself finding relieve even in the assurance!!!
It wasn't easy to go through all these but I thank Jesus I need not go through what He went through!!!
So, when you went through any hardship, it wasn't that hard to go through if you see all that I had been through!!! May you find comfort even in suffering!!! Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!
Young time, when I went kindergarten, for no reason, I would fell down and cut myself!! Much too often till mum said, 'don't know how you walk flatten road that you could fall!!!'
At the same time, I had a uncle that would wanted to beat my grandma for his mental illness. If grandma ran off to neighbour house to hide, he would come with metal rod to try to force our bedroom door opened, I was still very young then, yet to attend kindergarten! So I was fearful of him!!!
When my family shifted out of that house, he came to where we were and hoped to find us!!! Those were the fearful time of all of us!!!
Then around teenage year, spirit came pressed on my neck that I decided not to believe the idol, my parents believe as it did not protect me! But even so, I have this knowing that spiritual problem still have to rely on God!!!
In my 20s, I encountered a few events of bad happened to me and my soul that I went into depression that I looked scary to my colleagues as I smiled to cover my inabilities while they took that smile as crazy!!!
So, many looked down on me! But there was some colleagues that emailed me positive outlook to life and also, there was a male colleague that showed special care and my family also always voiced cares about me!!!
Devil was pumping very negative thoughts in me that he told me I was a outcast and cannot fit into the society!!!! At that time, I was wondering if I should kill myself!!! But, everytime, when I had such thoughts, I would also think of 'if I die, my parents and siblings will be very sad' and in order not to break their hearts, I decided to live!
Then I thought I was already at the rock bottom of darkness, I won't get any woser!!! So, the only way was to climb out of this dark tunnel! And I believed 'I will see light at the end of the dark tunnel!!! So every negative thought I changed to positive before accepting into me!!! I used 2-3 years to get out of that!!! When I was out, I became very positive!!! Glory to Jesus!!!
I know Lord was with me all those years as He did speak to me. Even twice when I was face to face with approaching car, the car stopped for me to cross the road!!! I had came out between buses!!! The car driver would not had seen me but Lord preserved my life!!!
Even though my depression didn't kill me, I faced stress that bust my brain when I tried to think deep!!!
I was not confident of marriage but ex said what's there to worry as his side of the family also had their problem. That's why he gave me lots of assurance that eventually, I married him!!
Well, even though I had to faced the PC every day, as he faced it every day too, out of no choice, I had to be like him!!! Originally I was just living the life he wanted and catered to all his diet and need!! When Jc came, then quarrels began as every problem about Jc, was my problem! I got all the blame and all the I must do this and do that!!!
This is why I appreciated Grace of Jesus so much!!! As I was weighed down by all his laws that he even tried to twist illogical events to his logic!!! That's why Lord said I don't know what is true love!!! Basically life under law is hard to live!!!
Then satan came to disturb me!!! As parents Chinese temple, the person that let the spirit used her body died and for one year, I had no choice but to suffer the nightly terror that punched me to prevent me to sleep! But when parent's temple found someone to hold the spirit, I only could get one day of unreal peace!!!
Subsequently, I went to different spiritual outlet to get my help but Lama n Fengshui said nothing wrong with my house!!! Those that said had problem could not help me clear all!! Eventually as I wonder which other God I could go to help, 'Jesus' was whispered to me!!!
With Christ fear and intimidating spirit was gone!!! But came the spirits that tried to kill me in which ever ways possible after Lord tested me to stretch me emotionally till the end!!! Lord tested me for one year I think, but spiritual attack came from 2008 till now!!!
So, all those years of endurance from one case to another are all for me to endure even more!!!
When Lord said it's ending soon, I find myself finding relieve even in the assurance!!!
It wasn't easy to go through all these but I thank Jesus I need not go through what He went through!!!
So, when you went through any hardship, it wasn't that hard to go through if you see all that I had been through!!! May you find comfort even in suffering!!! Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!
Saturday, May 17, 2014
Thank You!
Hi Readers to this blog,
I thank you for reading my blog!!! As the training is completed and the next phase of walking out will depend on the Right Moment, Right Time!!!
I am humbled that you keen to read all that were written here, it mainly is a record of how The Lord has been leading me from a young Christian pride with life in darkness to a mature and humbled down mature Christian walking based on the Grace given by Jesus!!!
I know it's nothing about me!!! Without the Grace and Mercy of Jesus, I won't be able to push through, especially with death threat spiritually often!!! All these are training to see how Big Jesus Finished Work is and also to see my Father is a Almighty God!!!
One thing about each our life, when face with trials, it's always a chance to lift us higher to be a better person!!!
Even Su that used to scold angrily at her sons is a transformed child of God to handle her trials trusting Jesus!!!
Without The Lord, I won't be able to go through the Divorce without hating ex and even be generous to him.
Without The Lord, I won't be able to take the years of spiritual trials and even emotional trials unscarred!!! Even this V thingy Lord allowed it so that my fear of failure marriage and not confident of self as a woman could be healed!!! It is something I did not even know that I had such fear!!!
The last test is emotional and free from love of money!!! Surely Lord is Good, He knows how to tempt me to move ahead with Him. Some is about no choice but have to go through!!! Be it pull or push, Lord lead me through many trials that I can't even count as there were too many!!!
But it's good, whatever He put through, He will give Grace to walk through!!!
Now I know that He only let me go through what I can handle, even all these curses that I complained about, when I was a younger Christian, He will make sure only enough come through, those I can't handle, He will handle!!! Then He lead me through new knowledges and then release more for me to train!!! Surely, nothing is not bearable!!! Suffer is the process to humble down!!! Surely once I went through them, they become nothing to me!!!
So, it's about spiritual growth!!! Of course, He place rewards to our faith in always looking to Him!!! All these is necessary for the job that He is placing! Lesser training, lower level and harder training for higher level positioning!!! Do not complain, look to His Finished Work and walk through!!! These are the different fire that He put us through and whether we get reward or nothing will based on how we walk through each of the trial and not running away!!!
If the trial happen again, likelihood is one did not pass the test and so retest!!! Sometime, it's about to mould us down much!!!
The ultimate goal is to walk like Jesus!!! Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!
I thank you for reading my blog!!! As the training is completed and the next phase of walking out will depend on the Right Moment, Right Time!!!
I am humbled that you keen to read all that were written here, it mainly is a record of how The Lord has been leading me from a young Christian pride with life in darkness to a mature and humbled down mature Christian walking based on the Grace given by Jesus!!!
I know it's nothing about me!!! Without the Grace and Mercy of Jesus, I won't be able to push through, especially with death threat spiritually often!!! All these are training to see how Big Jesus Finished Work is and also to see my Father is a Almighty God!!!
One thing about each our life, when face with trials, it's always a chance to lift us higher to be a better person!!!
Even Su that used to scold angrily at her sons is a transformed child of God to handle her trials trusting Jesus!!!
Without The Lord, I won't be able to go through the Divorce without hating ex and even be generous to him.
Without The Lord, I won't be able to take the years of spiritual trials and even emotional trials unscarred!!! Even this V thingy Lord allowed it so that my fear of failure marriage and not confident of self as a woman could be healed!!! It is something I did not even know that I had such fear!!!
The last test is emotional and free from love of money!!! Surely Lord is Good, He knows how to tempt me to move ahead with Him. Some is about no choice but have to go through!!! Be it pull or push, Lord lead me through many trials that I can't even count as there were too many!!!
But it's good, whatever He put through, He will give Grace to walk through!!!
Now I know that He only let me go through what I can handle, even all these curses that I complained about, when I was a younger Christian, He will make sure only enough come through, those I can't handle, He will handle!!! Then He lead me through new knowledges and then release more for me to train!!! Surely, nothing is not bearable!!! Suffer is the process to humble down!!! Surely once I went through them, they become nothing to me!!!
So, it's about spiritual growth!!! Of course, He place rewards to our faith in always looking to Him!!! All these is necessary for the job that He is placing! Lesser training, lower level and harder training for higher level positioning!!! Do not complain, look to His Finished Work and walk through!!! These are the different fire that He put us through and whether we get reward or nothing will based on how we walk through each of the trial and not running away!!!
If the trial happen again, likelihood is one did not pass the test and so retest!!! Sometime, it's about to mould us down much!!!
The ultimate goal is to walk like Jesus!!! Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!
Friday, May 16, 2014
To be like Christ
Through the years of walking with Jesus, I just lean on Jesus and whatever His Word says, I do.
Like when the word says put your priority on His Kingdom and His Righteousness, I put my heart to learn all about I can learn about Jesus and His Righteousness!!!
When I learn stopping of blessing comes from the root of fear, stress and condemnation, when ever I encounter them, I pray to Lord to bind the spirit of them out of me.
When Lord Jesus says do not pick up trouble and do not fear, I stay away from them and when fearful, I will pray to Lord that He do not give a spirit of fear but of power, love, sound mind and self control.
When He says love your enemy, I forgive whoever want to hurt me or harm me, including ex and those who prosecute me!!!
Whatever come on me I just trust His Finished Work and walk out of it!!!
When Jc gave me rejections, I just let go.
For ex, it took step by step till now, I take him just like someone else, not related!!!
I just continue to walk in His Grace and survive by His Mercy!!! Glory Glory!!!
Yesterday, while listening to Mark Blit interview by a mum and her son, that mum take out the bible and turned to the definition and read out what is love. As I listened to her, I realised by the Grace of Jesus, I have fully walk in this Love!!! Glory Glory!!!
Now my heart is clear and light!!! Glory Glory!!!
Lord said I have graduated from this training!!! Hallelujah Hallelujah!!! Amen Amen!!!
I am so glad and at the same time, humbled by His Grace!!! Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!
Like when the word says put your priority on His Kingdom and His Righteousness, I put my heart to learn all about I can learn about Jesus and His Righteousness!!!
When I learn stopping of blessing comes from the root of fear, stress and condemnation, when ever I encounter them, I pray to Lord to bind the spirit of them out of me.
When Lord Jesus says do not pick up trouble and do not fear, I stay away from them and when fearful, I will pray to Lord that He do not give a spirit of fear but of power, love, sound mind and self control.
When He says love your enemy, I forgive whoever want to hurt me or harm me, including ex and those who prosecute me!!!
Whatever come on me I just trust His Finished Work and walk out of it!!!
When Jc gave me rejections, I just let go.
For ex, it took step by step till now, I take him just like someone else, not related!!!
I just continue to walk in His Grace and survive by His Mercy!!! Glory Glory!!!
Yesterday, while listening to Mark Blit interview by a mum and her son, that mum take out the bible and turned to the definition and read out what is love. As I listened to her, I realised by the Grace of Jesus, I have fully walk in this Love!!! Glory Glory!!!
Now my heart is clear and light!!! Glory Glory!!!
Lord said I have graduated from this training!!! Hallelujah Hallelujah!!! Amen Amen!!!
I am so glad and at the same time, humbled by His Grace!!! Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!
Lord is Faithful
When Lord cut the blood covenant with Abraham long ago. He promised to bless him and his descendant. Through history, He has been a Faithful God!!!
Even ancient Israel wishy washy in trusting Him and got lazy in offering the burnt offering, and turned to other idols that need not offer that often, Lord never forsake them. They might in their departure from Him suffered enemy attack and at time even captured, but when they cried out to their God,
Lord always remembered His Promise to Abraham and also the Sure Mercy of David, and rescued them. He would then destroyed the enemy.
What I could not understand was why He allowed someone to attack His Covenant Children, did all they did on them, but when the children cried for Mercy, He always Judged the enemy and made them worst than what they used to be!!!
Talk about Holocaust and even the present Israel, they could be attacked and even died, but Lord always Judged the enemy and let them lost their power and influence and become nothing. Just look at Germany, Poland. Even the wars that Israel was attacked ever since they returned to the Promised Land, Lord always make sure they got more land in the end!!!
Talking of His People, Lord has prospered them that a lot of them won Novel prize as compared to any race in this world!!! Lord also prospered them to be very rich that they were the envy of others in the country they reside!!!
I am humbled!!! My God, My Abba Father knows who my tribes are even though I have no clue!!!
Spiritual attacks cannot be verified and thus hard to cry for help from the world but Abba Father is monitoring the situation!!! I might have no clue why dad had brain tumor and died but mum's case, Lord led me to go through, to the extend of suffering the spiritual portion that she used to complain to me!!!
But Lord is faithful, I might have no clue but judgment happened on those who prosecuted us even when I didn't know!!!
I know likewise, as the children of Israel went through, whatever forces that was behind Lord will handle! End result is the power and the authority will be lost!!! He is the same yesterday, today and forever!!!
I do not know why I had to suffer much but surely, My God is Faithful to deliver!!! He has done it before and He will continue to do!!! Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!
Even ancient Israel wishy washy in trusting Him and got lazy in offering the burnt offering, and turned to other idols that need not offer that often, Lord never forsake them. They might in their departure from Him suffered enemy attack and at time even captured, but when they cried out to their God,
Lord always remembered His Promise to Abraham and also the Sure Mercy of David, and rescued them. He would then destroyed the enemy.
What I could not understand was why He allowed someone to attack His Covenant Children, did all they did on them, but when the children cried for Mercy, He always Judged the enemy and made them worst than what they used to be!!!
Talk about Holocaust and even the present Israel, they could be attacked and even died, but Lord always Judged the enemy and let them lost their power and influence and become nothing. Just look at Germany, Poland. Even the wars that Israel was attacked ever since they returned to the Promised Land, Lord always make sure they got more land in the end!!!
Talking of His People, Lord has prospered them that a lot of them won Novel prize as compared to any race in this world!!! Lord also prospered them to be very rich that they were the envy of others in the country they reside!!!
I am humbled!!! My God, My Abba Father knows who my tribes are even though I have no clue!!!
Spiritual attacks cannot be verified and thus hard to cry for help from the world but Abba Father is monitoring the situation!!! I might have no clue why dad had brain tumor and died but mum's case, Lord led me to go through, to the extend of suffering the spiritual portion that she used to complain to me!!!
But Lord is faithful, I might have no clue but judgment happened on those who prosecuted us even when I didn't know!!!
I know likewise, as the children of Israel went through, whatever forces that was behind Lord will handle! End result is the power and the authority will be lost!!! He is the same yesterday, today and forever!!!
I do not know why I had to suffer much but surely, My God is Faithful to deliver!!! He has done it before and He will continue to do!!! Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!
Wednesday, May 14, 2014
To realise more about Ex
With the recent love scenario coming to an end on my side, there is one thing that I never really noticed that was absent from my relationship with ex.
In the recent case about V, in the spirit, I was prompted if I like to be fondle!!! When I got this question, through dictionary, I found out it means caressing!!! With this revelation of what is it? Then I realised what I had been missing out from my relationship with ex, as he claimed that he really loves me in the beginning!!!
I realised since day one I met him till I married him, he never fondle me before!!! The only time he did that were those 2 times when he was drunk!!!
Then this truth hit me hard that he never love me at all!!! This was one question I questioned him in frustration at times over the divorce when I found out more about he didn't love me!!! I questioned why did he marry me even though he didn't love me? He claimed he did! I could not validate it till this revelation that he never fondle me at all!!!
What I know is fondling is part of the expression of loving the woman by the man. To be not doing it at all, shows his lack of love and only looking for being his source, especially he claimed man don't have any toys to relieve themselves!!!
The more I know this, then I realise it is out of question to even consider a reunion with him!!! He is not into marriage with any girls, he just want a source of release only, minus all the responsibilities!!! That's why I was the one handling them all and I was feeling lonely then!!! He always used his work, his meeting and even his oversea travel as excuse!!!
With this revelation, I now am sure all that he claimed that I was is not really I was. More of a loveless relationship in manifestation and loneliness is the result!!! He knows all the trick to stir a woman up for his purpose!!! But more than that is emptiness!!!
It were proven even in those other girls that had relationship with him, all ended unhappy!!! And when they were hurt, they can't hurt him as he didn't care, so in the end, the girls tried to hurt Jc and her thing!!!
It is sad, all from he never learn what love is and just selfishly wanted his needs satisfied!!! Emotional department is shut long ago from his parents divorce at age of 5.
If he accepted Christ, Lord can do the miracle as He had done with brother-in-law, whom also had a sad case when he was a kid!!! Lord has grown his love for my sister, Su, that Su claimed he is a changed man now!!! Glory to Jesus!!! Amen Amen!!!
Anyway, now I have decided to wait upon The Lord to renew my body so that it is good!!! I will wait for the blessed man from The Lord and will reject temptation!!!
Now I know how to tell the difference! Lord said I passed the test!!! Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!
In the recent case about V, in the spirit, I was prompted if I like to be fondle!!! When I got this question, through dictionary, I found out it means caressing!!! With this revelation of what is it? Then I realised what I had been missing out from my relationship with ex, as he claimed that he really loves me in the beginning!!!
I realised since day one I met him till I married him, he never fondle me before!!! The only time he did that were those 2 times when he was drunk!!!
Then this truth hit me hard that he never love me at all!!! This was one question I questioned him in frustration at times over the divorce when I found out more about he didn't love me!!! I questioned why did he marry me even though he didn't love me? He claimed he did! I could not validate it till this revelation that he never fondle me at all!!!
What I know is fondling is part of the expression of loving the woman by the man. To be not doing it at all, shows his lack of love and only looking for being his source, especially he claimed man don't have any toys to relieve themselves!!!
The more I know this, then I realise it is out of question to even consider a reunion with him!!! He is not into marriage with any girls, he just want a source of release only, minus all the responsibilities!!! That's why I was the one handling them all and I was feeling lonely then!!! He always used his work, his meeting and even his oversea travel as excuse!!!
With this revelation, I now am sure all that he claimed that I was is not really I was. More of a loveless relationship in manifestation and loneliness is the result!!! He knows all the trick to stir a woman up for his purpose!!! But more than that is emptiness!!!
It were proven even in those other girls that had relationship with him, all ended unhappy!!! And when they were hurt, they can't hurt him as he didn't care, so in the end, the girls tried to hurt Jc and her thing!!!
It is sad, all from he never learn what love is and just selfishly wanted his needs satisfied!!! Emotional department is shut long ago from his parents divorce at age of 5.
If he accepted Christ, Lord can do the miracle as He had done with brother-in-law, whom also had a sad case when he was a kid!!! Lord has grown his love for my sister, Su, that Su claimed he is a changed man now!!! Glory to Jesus!!! Amen Amen!!!
Anyway, now I have decided to wait upon The Lord to renew my body so that it is good!!! I will wait for the blessed man from The Lord and will reject temptation!!!
Now I know how to tell the difference! Lord said I passed the test!!! Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!
The Fruit of Spirit
Lord is telling us if we walk in love, then the Fruit of the Spirit will be with us!!! But it's not by self-effort that you tried to do, but as you trust and walk with Him, He manifest Himself for you to be walking in His Grace!!! Glory Glory!!!
Luke 43:43-45
'"For a Good Tree is Not Making Rotten Fruit,
And again a Rotten Tree is Not Making Good Fruit.
For Each Tree is Known by Its Own Fruit:
For they Do Not gather Figs from Thorn Plants and they Do Not Gather a bunch of Grapes from a Thorn Bush.
The Good Man produce Good from the Good Treasure of his Heart (Holy Spirit),
And the Evil Man produces Evil from the Evil in His Heart (satan): for His Mouth is speaking out from the Abundance of his heart (full manifestation of evil spirit)."'
In this world, we are not as free as what most of us would like to think!!! If one do not yield to God, devil will give them evil thoughts and soon one is walking in the evil spirit manifestation without knowing it!!!
Likewise, one who walk closely to Jesus, Holy Spirit will lead us to walk in the Full Manifestation of the Blessing to walk in Love that the world don't understands as devil will not teach them about this!!! It's exactly the opposite of what the world is!!! Hallelujah Halllujah!!!
This is the blessed Hope from The Lord:
Luke 6:46-49
'"Why do you call ME, 'Lord, Lord!' And Do Not Do what I Say?
For Everyone who Comes to Me and Hears My Words and Does them,
I shall Show you what he is Like:
He is a Man Building a House, who Dug and Made Deep and Placed the Foundation upon the Rock (Jesus Christ):
And when the flood came the river burst upon that House
And it was Not Able to Shake It because it was Well Built.
But the One who Heard and Did Not Do is like
A man who built a house upon the ground without a foundation,
Which the River beat against and it immediately collapsed and there was a great ruin of that house."'
You see, once accepted Christ, Salvation is Done! Thank You for the Finished Work! Lord Jesus!!!
So, no matter how much one suffer in this world, the moment one depart from this body, it's the end of the destruction!!! The blessed Soul and Spirit is whole and young!!! Glory to Jesus!!!
But, look at me whom they think I will suffer the same as mum. Mum didn't walk with Jesus, she return to her god! But Grace is Good Enough that she is now with Jesus and Her Beloved Husband!!!
For me, since 2008 they have been dumping lots of spirits on me, it really like the river burst and the water rushed against me. But, bless be to Lord Jesus and His Finished Work at the Cross!!!
I am just like a sponge, nothing could affect me. His Grace pull me through!!! Even though I could feel the severity of the spirits, but once it's over, I am still whole!!! Now I could understand John G Lake when he said disease died on his hand!!! I am experience this too!!! Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!
I don't look at things that happens around me as what I used to be. I have total immunity that I don't feel any bad feeling at all!!! In fact, I pitied those that have to work hard to make sure I suffer!!! I praise Jesus for the Joy!!! Think now I could understand Paul in His Suffering!!! Praise Jesus!!! Amen Amen!!!
Luke 43:43-45
'"For a Good Tree is Not Making Rotten Fruit,
And again a Rotten Tree is Not Making Good Fruit.
For Each Tree is Known by Its Own Fruit:
For they Do Not gather Figs from Thorn Plants and they Do Not Gather a bunch of Grapes from a Thorn Bush.
The Good Man produce Good from the Good Treasure of his Heart (Holy Spirit),
And the Evil Man produces Evil from the Evil in His Heart (satan): for His Mouth is speaking out from the Abundance of his heart (full manifestation of evil spirit)."'
In this world, we are not as free as what most of us would like to think!!! If one do not yield to God, devil will give them evil thoughts and soon one is walking in the evil spirit manifestation without knowing it!!!
Likewise, one who walk closely to Jesus, Holy Spirit will lead us to walk in the Full Manifestation of the Blessing to walk in Love that the world don't understands as devil will not teach them about this!!! It's exactly the opposite of what the world is!!! Hallelujah Halllujah!!!
This is the blessed Hope from The Lord:
Luke 6:46-49
'"Why do you call ME, 'Lord, Lord!' And Do Not Do what I Say?
For Everyone who Comes to Me and Hears My Words and Does them,
I shall Show you what he is Like:
He is a Man Building a House, who Dug and Made Deep and Placed the Foundation upon the Rock (Jesus Christ):
And when the flood came the river burst upon that House
And it was Not Able to Shake It because it was Well Built.
But the One who Heard and Did Not Do is like
A man who built a house upon the ground without a foundation,
Which the River beat against and it immediately collapsed and there was a great ruin of that house."'
You see, once accepted Christ, Salvation is Done! Thank You for the Finished Work! Lord Jesus!!!
So, no matter how much one suffer in this world, the moment one depart from this body, it's the end of the destruction!!! The blessed Soul and Spirit is whole and young!!! Glory to Jesus!!!
But, look at me whom they think I will suffer the same as mum. Mum didn't walk with Jesus, she return to her god! But Grace is Good Enough that she is now with Jesus and Her Beloved Husband!!!
For me, since 2008 they have been dumping lots of spirits on me, it really like the river burst and the water rushed against me. But, bless be to Lord Jesus and His Finished Work at the Cross!!!
I am just like a sponge, nothing could affect me. His Grace pull me through!!! Even though I could feel the severity of the spirits, but once it's over, I am still whole!!! Now I could understand John G Lake when he said disease died on his hand!!! I am experience this too!!! Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!
I don't look at things that happens around me as what I used to be. I have total immunity that I don't feel any bad feeling at all!!! In fact, I pitied those that have to work hard to make sure I suffer!!! I praise Jesus for the Joy!!! Think now I could understand Paul in His Suffering!!! Praise Jesus!!! Amen Amen!!!
Disciple 2
Lesson of Love from The Lord:
Luke 6:27-31
Love for Enemies
'But to you Who are Listening I say, "You must constantly LOVE you Enemies, you must do good for those who hate you,
you must continually be praying on behalf of those who abuse you.
To the one who strike you on the cheek you must also offer the other one, and with the one who takes you cloak you should not refuse your tunic.
You must give to everyone who ask you, and from the one who takes your things you must not demand back.
And just as you wish that people would do for you, you must do likewise for them."'
Lord explains that we, the Children of God, shall not behave like the world behave. Otherwise, we are just like them, climb the tree of Good and Evil instead the Tree of Life!
Luke 6:32-34
'"And if you love those who love you, what credit is it to you?
For even sinners would love those who love them.
For even if you would do good things for those who do good things to you,
What credit is that to you? Even the sinners do the same.
And if you would lend to someone from whom you hope to take something in pledge, what sort of credit is it to you?
Even sinners lend to sinners in order that they would take something back."'
Lord continued to teach us to walk like Him!
Luke 6:35-36
'"But you must Love your enemies and you must do Good Things to them and you must Lend expecting Nothing:
Then your Reward will be Great, and you will be Children of The Most High, because He is Kind to the Ungrateful and Evil.
You must become Compassionate, even just as Your Father is Compassionate."'
Luke 6:37-39, 40
'"And if you Do Not Judge, then you Would Not be Judge:
And if you Do Not Condemn, then you Would Not be condemned.
You Must Set Free, then you Will Be Set Free:
You must Give, then it Will be Given to you: they will Give a Good Measure, Pressed down, Shaken, Pour into your bosom:
For, in which measure you measure, it will be measured to you in return.
A Disciple is not above a teacher:
But after he has been prepared, everyone will be like His Teacher (Christ Jesus)!"'
Lord continued to teach us, we, human, are imperfect! So no matter how we walk, you should not judge others as we are equally not perfect!!!!
Luke 6:41-42
'"And what is the Chip you see in your brother's Eye, but you do not Perceive the Beam in your own Eye?
How are you able to say to your brother, 'Brother, you must permit me to remove the Chip in your Eyes,' when you Do Not See the beam in your own Eye? Hypocrite, you must first take the Beam out of your Eye,
And then you will See Clearly to remove the Chip in your brother's Eye. '"'
Thank You, Lord for Your Teaching!!! Now, I understand this, when my beam is being removed, then I could share my experience for my sisters and brothers in Christ to do likewise!!! Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!
Luke 6:27-31
Love for Enemies
'But to you Who are Listening I say, "You must constantly LOVE you Enemies, you must do good for those who hate you,
you must continually be praying on behalf of those who abuse you.
To the one who strike you on the cheek you must also offer the other one, and with the one who takes you cloak you should not refuse your tunic.
You must give to everyone who ask you, and from the one who takes your things you must not demand back.
And just as you wish that people would do for you, you must do likewise for them."'
Lord explains that we, the Children of God, shall not behave like the world behave. Otherwise, we are just like them, climb the tree of Good and Evil instead the Tree of Life!
Luke 6:32-34
'"And if you love those who love you, what credit is it to you?
For even sinners would love those who love them.
For even if you would do good things for those who do good things to you,
What credit is that to you? Even the sinners do the same.
And if you would lend to someone from whom you hope to take something in pledge, what sort of credit is it to you?
Even sinners lend to sinners in order that they would take something back."'
Lord continued to teach us to walk like Him!
Luke 6:35-36
'"But you must Love your enemies and you must do Good Things to them and you must Lend expecting Nothing:
Then your Reward will be Great, and you will be Children of The Most High, because He is Kind to the Ungrateful and Evil.
You must become Compassionate, even just as Your Father is Compassionate."'
Luke 6:37-39, 40
'"And if you Do Not Judge, then you Would Not be Judge:
And if you Do Not Condemn, then you Would Not be condemned.
You Must Set Free, then you Will Be Set Free:
You must Give, then it Will be Given to you: they will Give a Good Measure, Pressed down, Shaken, Pour into your bosom:
For, in which measure you measure, it will be measured to you in return.
A Disciple is not above a teacher:
But after he has been prepared, everyone will be like His Teacher (Christ Jesus)!"'
Lord continued to teach us, we, human, are imperfect! So no matter how we walk, you should not judge others as we are equally not perfect!!!!
Luke 6:41-42
'"And what is the Chip you see in your brother's Eye, but you do not Perceive the Beam in your own Eye?
How are you able to say to your brother, 'Brother, you must permit me to remove the Chip in your Eyes,' when you Do Not See the beam in your own Eye? Hypocrite, you must first take the Beam out of your Eye,
And then you will See Clearly to remove the Chip in your brother's Eye. '"'
Thank You, Lord for Your Teaching!!! Now, I understand this, when my beam is being removed, then I could share my experience for my sisters and brothers in Christ to do likewise!!! Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!
Tuesday, May 13, 2014
My Mum
Of late, sometime I will think of my mum and she always tells me she is happy in Heaven!!!
Lord revealed her last moment for me to see in a private Vision. Dad came to her, woke her and asked if she wanted to Go Heaven with him. She was so full of smile to see him again!!! She got up and they happily went up!!!
No wonder she had a smiling face on her sleep bed when my sis found her dead. She was so full of Joy that they didn't know she was not in her body anymore!!! It was hours later that they found out when she didn't respond.
Heaven is a beautiful place to return home for those who sincerely prayed to Jesus to accept Him. Abba revealed to me that those whose heart are towards bad, even when they pray the sinner's prayer with pride in them, they have not accepted Christ actually!!! His Salvation are for those who truly repented. One don't repent but continue to do evil. He told me.
But I am glad that mum is now with her lovely husband, my dad!!! I am so glad that they come to Jesus!!! Hallelujah!!! Amen Amen!
Lord revealed her last moment for me to see in a private Vision. Dad came to her, woke her and asked if she wanted to Go Heaven with him. She was so full of smile to see him again!!! She got up and they happily went up!!!
No wonder she had a smiling face on her sleep bed when my sis found her dead. She was so full of Joy that they didn't know she was not in her body anymore!!! It was hours later that they found out when she didn't respond.
Heaven is a beautiful place to return home for those who sincerely prayed to Jesus to accept Him. Abba revealed to me that those whose heart are towards bad, even when they pray the sinner's prayer with pride in them, they have not accepted Christ actually!!! His Salvation are for those who truly repented. One don't repent but continue to do evil. He told me.
But I am glad that mum is now with her lovely husband, my dad!!! I am so glad that they come to Jesus!!! Hallelujah!!! Amen Amen!
Monday, May 12, 2014
The Disciple
Whenever I walked thru the verses Luke 9:23-29, Lord always give me a sense of wanting to know more of these scriptures after all, what I am going through is exactly as it said!!! I shall break it down for you to see!!! Hope your spiritual eyes are sealed in the blood of Jesus and are able to see clearly!!!
This is Lord Jesus talking:
Luke 9:23-29
'And He was saying to everyone, "If someone wants to come after me, he must deny himself and he must take his cross at once, and Day by Day he must consistently follow Me."'
Lord want us, His children to walk with Him for His Greater Glory!!! We must not look to self but look to His Finished Work at the Cross and walk out the Grace provided by the Holy Spirit!!!! This is only for those keen to be lead by The Lord!!!
'"For whoever would want to save his life will lose it:
but whoever would lose his life because of Me will save it.
For what does a man benefit if he has gained the whole world,
but Lost or Forfeited himself?'"
We have a choice! Each of us have a choice of what you want to Do with your life!!! You can choose to do the Word of God or you can drift yourself in the chaff of this world!!! No one has the authority to tell you what decision to make! It is a personal decision between you and The Lord!!! And, the choice you make decide your destiny!!!
Many time, we look to our gain of things in this life and we just rejoice in all these and have a false sense of security that life is good and you don't need anything else!!!
But the Word of God, God Himself, is telling you that you are actually lost or has deny yourself of a Greater Glory!!!
'"For whoever would be ashamed of Me and My Messages,
The Son of Man will be ashamed of this one
when He would Come in the Glory of Himself and The Father and the Holy Angels."'
Those who don't bother about Jesus, Lord promised that on the day of Judgement, when you realise you now need Him, He will likewise don't bother about you!!! He heart pain over it? Yes, He does!!! But He is the Word of God and He goes by His Word even though it Pain Him!!! So no matter how you plea to Him by then, He have no choice but to put you with those of the Goat!!!
'"But I Say to you Truly, there are some of those who are standing in this place
who will NOT taste death until they would see the Kingdom of God."'
This is His Promise for those of us who walk with Him in The Finished Work of Christ, in His Glory, in His Way of Life!!! He promise long life!!!
'And it was about Eight days after these messages, and taking Peter and John and Jacob
He went up a mountain to pray for Himself.
And it happened while He was praying,
The Appearance of His Face was different and His Prayer Shawl was White, gleaming like Lighting.'
Lord promised that we will shine like Him in The Glory Cloud of Goodness when the training is complete!!! He wants us the children of God to walk in His Grace and manifest His Goodness!!!
Many times, when I helped ex to check how he could take over the flat and removed my name, the one on the opposite end of the call was actually not happy that I give Grace and Favour to ex!!! I am just walking in the Glory!!! Not that I have any feeling for him but the world don't understand this Glory!!!
Even the forgiveness I gave to ex and giving to those who prosecute me, they don't understand at all!!! They wondered if it's real or pretendance! But as long as Lord knows my heart will do. The rest, wait till they catch up the revelation of Goodness!!! My Faith level is nothing like any of them and I could only say, 'My Father, forgive them for they don't know what they are doing!'
Thank You, Lord for Your Leading!!! This sheep is only not blur by Your Grace!!! Sheep don't bark and sheep don't bite, we only mehhhhhh!!!! Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!
This is Lord Jesus talking:
Luke 9:23-29
'And He was saying to everyone, "If someone wants to come after me, he must deny himself and he must take his cross at once, and Day by Day he must consistently follow Me."'
Lord want us, His children to walk with Him for His Greater Glory!!! We must not look to self but look to His Finished Work at the Cross and walk out the Grace provided by the Holy Spirit!!!! This is only for those keen to be lead by The Lord!!!
'"For whoever would want to save his life will lose it:
but whoever would lose his life because of Me will save it.
For what does a man benefit if he has gained the whole world,
but Lost or Forfeited himself?'"
We have a choice! Each of us have a choice of what you want to Do with your life!!! You can choose to do the Word of God or you can drift yourself in the chaff of this world!!! No one has the authority to tell you what decision to make! It is a personal decision between you and The Lord!!! And, the choice you make decide your destiny!!!
Many time, we look to our gain of things in this life and we just rejoice in all these and have a false sense of security that life is good and you don't need anything else!!!
But the Word of God, God Himself, is telling you that you are actually lost or has deny yourself of a Greater Glory!!!
'"For whoever would be ashamed of Me and My Messages,
The Son of Man will be ashamed of this one
when He would Come in the Glory of Himself and The Father and the Holy Angels."'
Those who don't bother about Jesus, Lord promised that on the day of Judgement, when you realise you now need Him, He will likewise don't bother about you!!! He heart pain over it? Yes, He does!!! But He is the Word of God and He goes by His Word even though it Pain Him!!! So no matter how you plea to Him by then, He have no choice but to put you with those of the Goat!!!
'"But I Say to you Truly, there are some of those who are standing in this place
who will NOT taste death until they would see the Kingdom of God."'
This is His Promise for those of us who walk with Him in The Finished Work of Christ, in His Glory, in His Way of Life!!! He promise long life!!!
'And it was about Eight days after these messages, and taking Peter and John and Jacob
He went up a mountain to pray for Himself.
And it happened while He was praying,
The Appearance of His Face was different and His Prayer Shawl was White, gleaming like Lighting.'
Lord promised that we will shine like Him in The Glory Cloud of Goodness when the training is complete!!! He wants us the children of God to walk in His Grace and manifest His Goodness!!!
Many times, when I helped ex to check how he could take over the flat and removed my name, the one on the opposite end of the call was actually not happy that I give Grace and Favour to ex!!! I am just walking in the Glory!!! Not that I have any feeling for him but the world don't understand this Glory!!!
Even the forgiveness I gave to ex and giving to those who prosecute me, they don't understand at all!!! They wondered if it's real or pretendance! But as long as Lord knows my heart will do. The rest, wait till they catch up the revelation of Goodness!!! My Faith level is nothing like any of them and I could only say, 'My Father, forgive them for they don't know what they are doing!'
Thank You, Lord for Your Leading!!! This sheep is only not blur by Your Grace!!! Sheep don't bark and sheep don't bite, we only mehhhhhh!!!! Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!
Sunday, May 11, 2014
It's another game!
Now then I realise this V thing is another of the emotional game by them!!! I thought it ended with the hospital and the taxi but they tried another round of it with spirit whispering to make it more realistic!!! But it just another emotional game of theirs!
But Lord led me through to remove my fear of failure marriage and it is good!!! Even now I no more look down on myself anymore! I gained the confident back and it is good!!! Thank you very much, you all who acted so well!!! Applause to you!!!
Lord finally let me know it's not Him after keeping quiet for the whole week!!! Anyway, I thank Him for leading me through! I do have my reserve but I go along to see what's there at the end of path!!! Anyway, I am well!!! Glory Glory!!!
Surely Lord is good no matter the season is good or bad!!! Hallelujah!!! Amen Amen!!!
Frankly speaking, those who played all these games are just perfectly normal people just like you and me!!! Just because of their political stand, they thought everyone that have long distance clueless relatives are all as crazy in politics and would be against them. Actually I am neutral be they the ruling or the opposition!!!
Who I care about is how many could get the salvation finished by Jesus Christ! The rest I don't bother what they stand for in their political stand!!! Not that one party won or another party lost, I would be happy or sad! I just don't bother!!! What I used to bother is people suffering!!!
However, I realised that when one come to hardship, then they will reach out to Jesus, so I never look at someone suffering due to poor financially with the same pity anymore!!! Glory Glory!!!
No wonder Jesus said, 'the poor you will always have, but what she does for my bury is good!' It's need a understanding of the Lord's Way to fully understand sometime, hardship of a person life is good, otherwise they won't look for a God who can help!!! Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!
And when bullying a person can get the person to your side? It's when you show love for people and touch people's heart that pulls people to your side!!! Human nature is just so!!!
Have anyone cane a kid and the kid will love the parents? No, they dislike!!! Law strengthen sin aka wrong doing!!! Only those who really read the bible would realise only forgiveness works!!! Otherwise, how am I still talking to ex today? It's about forgiveness!!!
But Lord led me through to remove my fear of failure marriage and it is good!!! Even now I no more look down on myself anymore! I gained the confident back and it is good!!! Thank you very much, you all who acted so well!!! Applause to you!!!
Lord finally let me know it's not Him after keeping quiet for the whole week!!! Anyway, I thank Him for leading me through! I do have my reserve but I go along to see what's there at the end of path!!! Anyway, I am well!!! Glory Glory!!!
Surely Lord is good no matter the season is good or bad!!! Hallelujah!!! Amen Amen!!!
Frankly speaking, those who played all these games are just perfectly normal people just like you and me!!! Just because of their political stand, they thought everyone that have long distance clueless relatives are all as crazy in politics and would be against them. Actually I am neutral be they the ruling or the opposition!!!
Who I care about is how many could get the salvation finished by Jesus Christ! The rest I don't bother what they stand for in their political stand!!! Not that one party won or another party lost, I would be happy or sad! I just don't bother!!! What I used to bother is people suffering!!!
However, I realised that when one come to hardship, then they will reach out to Jesus, so I never look at someone suffering due to poor financially with the same pity anymore!!! Glory Glory!!!
No wonder Jesus said, 'the poor you will always have, but what she does for my bury is good!' It's need a understanding of the Lord's Way to fully understand sometime, hardship of a person life is good, otherwise they won't look for a God who can help!!! Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!
And when bullying a person can get the person to your side? It's when you show love for people and touch people's heart that pulls people to your side!!! Human nature is just so!!!
Have anyone cane a kid and the kid will love the parents? No, they dislike!!! Law strengthen sin aka wrong doing!!! Only those who really read the bible would realise only forgiveness works!!! Otherwise, how am I still talking to ex today? It's about forgiveness!!!
Saturday, May 10, 2014
When a Man Love a Woman
I did talk about the commandment of husband loves wife like Christ love His Bride and Sacrificed on the Cross for her, that means love her more than himself!!! And wife to submit to husband as she submit to Christ being her Saviour!!!
I like to elaborate from a positive prospect of this area!!! I am not a young teenager yet to taste the sweetness of union so please don't judge me like I am one!!!
There is truth in this scripture of asking man not to care about his needs but just care about loving his woman!!! Did Christ ask anything from us before going to The Cross to sacrifice for us? To be our Lamb of God??? NO, He did it willingly loving us and also loving His Father, our God, Abba Father!!!
What lesson is Christ teaching men??? He is showing men not to be selfish!!! To be a generous giver of love to his woman!!! Why He said so?
In New Creation Church, you see people attracted to the Love of Jesus that many all over the world is now looking to Him, His Finished Work at the Cross and His Love for them!!! It's just like honey to bee!!!
Personally, that encounter with V, even he didn't say anything about I love you or I want you, but the overall body language and what he has spoken shows love unknowingly. Glory Glory!!!
The immediate effect from that 1 hour or so talking to him and with this love coming to me and bouncing back to him, the immediate effect is an indescriptable sense of love!!!
What come the next 2 week is I developed this strong feeling of wanting to make this love!!! If he is there and then, I will surely ask him to make out with me!!! This is just sensing his love for me and the ripple effect!!! It remained and grows in me!!
So much so that I could not take it that I want to turn to ex for a fulfillment of a bodily need. At that time, I thought I should avoid V as he is not God's Plan for me. But ex rejected me. So, out of no choice I self serviced and the pleasure was not satisfying but doable.
When this few days I feed on his love for me, my frequency get to shorter and shorter to now a daily need!!! And to the extend it is not enough by myself!!!
That's why you are seeing my expression of love to him!!!
If every married man is just like Christ giving the selfless love to his wife and look at her as his woman, the element of his love, bible said when man marry a wife, he obtain Favour, so she is also your source of God'a Favour!!!
When you love her just like Christ do, sacrifice self for her, you will see her as God's Favour for you to get all your needs meet!!!
Lord lead me to understand V has been loving me for a long time!!! He wants me to be His for don't know how many years, maybe starting from 2008? As such, if you look at the time he has been loving me, to get him to wait even longer for me to know him, is a torture to him as an unfulfilled love!!!
That is why, knowing that we will work out well as a couple, He suggested that I submitted to him from the beginning for my end!!! Bathing in his love for me, it is not difficult to submit as the love arose in me to have a need for him too!!! This is how the circle of love is completed between a man and his woman!!!
Glory to Jesus and Abba Father who created us in His Image of Love!!! Hallelujah!!! Hallelujah!!! Amen Amen!!!
I like to elaborate from a positive prospect of this area!!! I am not a young teenager yet to taste the sweetness of union so please don't judge me like I am one!!!
There is truth in this scripture of asking man not to care about his needs but just care about loving his woman!!! Did Christ ask anything from us before going to The Cross to sacrifice for us? To be our Lamb of God??? NO, He did it willingly loving us and also loving His Father, our God, Abba Father!!!
What lesson is Christ teaching men??? He is showing men not to be selfish!!! To be a generous giver of love to his woman!!! Why He said so?
In New Creation Church, you see people attracted to the Love of Jesus that many all over the world is now looking to Him, His Finished Work at the Cross and His Love for them!!! It's just like honey to bee!!!
Personally, that encounter with V, even he didn't say anything about I love you or I want you, but the overall body language and what he has spoken shows love unknowingly. Glory Glory!!!
The immediate effect from that 1 hour or so talking to him and with this love coming to me and bouncing back to him, the immediate effect is an indescriptable sense of love!!!
What come the next 2 week is I developed this strong feeling of wanting to make this love!!! If he is there and then, I will surely ask him to make out with me!!! This is just sensing his love for me and the ripple effect!!! It remained and grows in me!!
So much so that I could not take it that I want to turn to ex for a fulfillment of a bodily need. At that time, I thought I should avoid V as he is not God's Plan for me. But ex rejected me. So, out of no choice I self serviced and the pleasure was not satisfying but doable.
When this few days I feed on his love for me, my frequency get to shorter and shorter to now a daily need!!! And to the extend it is not enough by myself!!!
That's why you are seeing my expression of love to him!!!
If every married man is just like Christ giving the selfless love to his wife and look at her as his woman, the element of his love, bible said when man marry a wife, he obtain Favour, so she is also your source of God'a Favour!!!
When you love her just like Christ do, sacrifice self for her, you will see her as God's Favour for you to get all your needs meet!!!
Lord lead me to understand V has been loving me for a long time!!! He wants me to be His for don't know how many years, maybe starting from 2008? As such, if you look at the time he has been loving me, to get him to wait even longer for me to know him, is a torture to him as an unfulfilled love!!!
That is why, knowing that we will work out well as a couple, He suggested that I submitted to him from the beginning for my end!!! Bathing in his love for me, it is not difficult to submit as the love arose in me to have a need for him too!!! This is how the circle of love is completed between a man and his woman!!!
Glory to Jesus and Abba Father who created us in His Image of Love!!! Hallelujah!!! Hallelujah!!! Amen Amen!!!
The inbetween, at a time of birthing
The other day, thinking that I might be moving to the next phrase of my life, partly in joy, looking for someone to share, I called Jc to ask about her opinion.
Her answer to me is 'I don't know!'. Even to question that is it she don't want to see me anymore! Further question again give an answer 'maybe'. With so many 'I don't know?' And maybe not seeing me again, I asked her 'am I still your mother?' At first a soft 'yes' that I could hardly catch and on question again, she gave a slightly louder 'yes'.
She who is closer to man, her dad, looking at my possible future was thinking about if mum with another man that she no clue of, as she likes her dad so much, is an unknown future to her!!!
Previously when the dad brought the girlfriends to show her, it's more of she like or fear!!!
I am never an issue for her to let go as since 8 years old, ex had breathed into her that when mummy get out of the house, we will be together!!! So this thought grow with her through the years and now fulfilled, she got her wish fulfilled as she likes the dad more!!!
But she knows I will be always there as I am always at home or go to church!!! I was never not around the house, she practically had me with her most the time in those 4 years!!!
This divorce made her choose her royalty with daddy and let go of mummy!!!
I don't know how the future pan out for me!!! At one hand, she is my daughter, but the heart pain and rudeness of not taking my word seriously and believe every single word from daddy, to even okay to share food with her pet hamster, made me faint!!! I am okay of she giving a bit of her food to the pet, but not let the pet bite what she was going to bite or eat what her is going to eat!!! Her dad wasn't taught about higiene between human and animal is amazing!!!
But she is breathing so much in his freedom of life that my life is not attractive to her at all!!!
Maybe for future sake Lord is shutting this door!!! It was so much so that emotionally I don't feel much, even a tiny bit for her! But no matter what, she is still my daughter!
Lord promises that I will have 2 boys and 2 girls in this new union! Is it His Way of compensation me for losing this 1 girl to her daddy? I don't know! Time will tell...Lord did not let me move into regret as regret will open door to darkness!!!
I know how the spiritual realm shift as how we think or thought or feel or speak!!! I am not going to give power to the darkness to operand through this!
Well, I will just walk in the Path Lord provided and how this mother and child linking will cast it to The Lord to handle!!! Will I be so busy with 4 kids in the future that I forget her??? I don't know? In Heaven she is still linked by blood to me! Her dad didn't accept Christ, so he won't be there!!!
Guess I have to let this go and see how my relation works out with V. I won't mind if she will visit me or whatever, is still far fetch at this moment!!!
With her 'I don't know' and 'maybe' about not seeing me again, it seem only time will tell!!!
Any way, looking at Benny Prasad life, being condemned in family for very sick and can't perform in branded school to be like his dad, school rejected him at 15, to be broken down physically, no music talent,
but Lord led him to play a unique guitar, fly all over all nations in the world playing music and sharing the Gospel and his testimony, broke the shortest time around the world record! With just a starting of US$25, met many presidents and important people, even been to the coldest nation, the same teacher who condemned him praised him in the end!!! The embassy of Pakistan officer told him he would not get the Pakistan visa, had to process his Indian passport within 5min and Lord sponsored his trips around the world!!! He did not borrow, beg nor loan any money!!! He told Lord He wanted Him to do all that, He must provide!!! Lord is Faithful to him for 20 years!!! He is 36 from the videos I watched!!!
If Lord could do all that to him, He could do all that is needed to me too!!! After all, it is Him whom plan this life for me, I am just the willing vessel, sometime He took longer to convince me of His Plan, sometime, it's as easy as ABC!!!
Like the Plan for me and V, it was a hoo haa issue of my heart but His Grace and Mercy watered me down and down till now almost manifested time He gives me a heart of no issue!!! Isn't He amazing!!!
Those that I talked to, said God won't do such thing!!! They told me to join care group, maybe to shift to worldly issue!!! That's what I find of care group, it's about leader reconfirming what Pasters had shared in the pullpit but after testimonies and time to fellowship, it's about where got offer and what is good but etc, hardly about The Lord!!!
Guess they box Lord in humanly aspect! But Lord knows the heart of man and He knows what works and what don't works!!! Even about me and V, he told me I have the experience, what he desire is nothing new that I need to worry!!! Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!
Her answer to me is 'I don't know!'. Even to question that is it she don't want to see me anymore! Further question again give an answer 'maybe'. With so many 'I don't know?' And maybe not seeing me again, I asked her 'am I still your mother?' At first a soft 'yes' that I could hardly catch and on question again, she gave a slightly louder 'yes'.
She who is closer to man, her dad, looking at my possible future was thinking about if mum with another man that she no clue of, as she likes her dad so much, is an unknown future to her!!!
Previously when the dad brought the girlfriends to show her, it's more of she like or fear!!!
I am never an issue for her to let go as since 8 years old, ex had breathed into her that when mummy get out of the house, we will be together!!! So this thought grow with her through the years and now fulfilled, she got her wish fulfilled as she likes the dad more!!!
But she knows I will be always there as I am always at home or go to church!!! I was never not around the house, she practically had me with her most the time in those 4 years!!!
This divorce made her choose her royalty with daddy and let go of mummy!!!
I don't know how the future pan out for me!!! At one hand, she is my daughter, but the heart pain and rudeness of not taking my word seriously and believe every single word from daddy, to even okay to share food with her pet hamster, made me faint!!! I am okay of she giving a bit of her food to the pet, but not let the pet bite what she was going to bite or eat what her is going to eat!!! Her dad wasn't taught about higiene between human and animal is amazing!!!
But she is breathing so much in his freedom of life that my life is not attractive to her at all!!!
Maybe for future sake Lord is shutting this door!!! It was so much so that emotionally I don't feel much, even a tiny bit for her! But no matter what, she is still my daughter!
Lord promises that I will have 2 boys and 2 girls in this new union! Is it His Way of compensation me for losing this 1 girl to her daddy? I don't know! Time will tell...Lord did not let me move into regret as regret will open door to darkness!!!
I know how the spiritual realm shift as how we think or thought or feel or speak!!! I am not going to give power to the darkness to operand through this!
Well, I will just walk in the Path Lord provided and how this mother and child linking will cast it to The Lord to handle!!! Will I be so busy with 4 kids in the future that I forget her??? I don't know? In Heaven she is still linked by blood to me! Her dad didn't accept Christ, so he won't be there!!!
Guess I have to let this go and see how my relation works out with V. I won't mind if she will visit me or whatever, is still far fetch at this moment!!!
With her 'I don't know' and 'maybe' about not seeing me again, it seem only time will tell!!!
Any way, looking at Benny Prasad life, being condemned in family for very sick and can't perform in branded school to be like his dad, school rejected him at 15, to be broken down physically, no music talent,
but Lord led him to play a unique guitar, fly all over all nations in the world playing music and sharing the Gospel and his testimony, broke the shortest time around the world record! With just a starting of US$25, met many presidents and important people, even been to the coldest nation, the same teacher who condemned him praised him in the end!!! The embassy of Pakistan officer told him he would not get the Pakistan visa, had to process his Indian passport within 5min and Lord sponsored his trips around the world!!! He did not borrow, beg nor loan any money!!! He told Lord He wanted Him to do all that, He must provide!!! Lord is Faithful to him for 20 years!!! He is 36 from the videos I watched!!!
If Lord could do all that to him, He could do all that is needed to me too!!! After all, it is Him whom plan this life for me, I am just the willing vessel, sometime He took longer to convince me of His Plan, sometime, it's as easy as ABC!!!
Like the Plan for me and V, it was a hoo haa issue of my heart but His Grace and Mercy watered me down and down till now almost manifested time He gives me a heart of no issue!!! Isn't He amazing!!!
Those that I talked to, said God won't do such thing!!! They told me to join care group, maybe to shift to worldly issue!!! That's what I find of care group, it's about leader reconfirming what Pasters had shared in the pullpit but after testimonies and time to fellowship, it's about where got offer and what is good but etc, hardly about The Lord!!!
Guess they box Lord in humanly aspect! But Lord knows the heart of man and He knows what works and what don't works!!! Even about me and V, he told me I have the experience, what he desire is nothing new that I need to worry!!! Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!
Friday, May 9, 2014
Lord, thank You!
Lord has been leading me to watch Benny Prasad to listen to his testimony and his walk with Jesus through faith. He was having 60% of his lungs damaged and a 6 month life to live at 16 when Jesus spoke to him and the rest of his life is a walking miracle!!!
Lord, I thank You for keeping me alive even though the attack was longer from evening last night till 5am. I didn't even have my dinner but were fallen asleep under the attack!!! This morning took 2 eggs and a glass of vegetable drinks but attacks is still coming on. I guess there might be something this weekends that they want to make sure I am dead before that! I praise Jesus for keeping me alive!!! All Glory to His Name!!!
Lord, even though I am just an ordinary girl, thank You for keeping me alive for your Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!
Thank You, Father! Forever, I shall live for The Glory of Jesus to be demonstrated!!! I pass my life to You and if You want me to remain for the Glory of Jesus, I give You the Authority to keep me alive and made me whole!!! After all, all that I lacked Jesus had taken at the Cross and by His Stripes, I am healed and I will live for Your Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!
Lord, I thank You for keeping me alive even though the attack was longer from evening last night till 5am. I didn't even have my dinner but were fallen asleep under the attack!!! This morning took 2 eggs and a glass of vegetable drinks but attacks is still coming on. I guess there might be something this weekends that they want to make sure I am dead before that! I praise Jesus for keeping me alive!!! All Glory to His Name!!!
Lord, even though I am just an ordinary girl, thank You for keeping me alive for your Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!
Thank You, Father! Forever, I shall live for The Glory of Jesus to be demonstrated!!! I pass my life to You and if You want me to remain for the Glory of Jesus, I give You the Authority to keep me alive and made me whole!!! After all, all that I lacked Jesus had taken at the Cross and by His Stripes, I am healed and I will live for Your Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!
Wednesday, May 7, 2014
How Lord changed me!
Ever since I read the Virtuous Woman in Proverb 31, Lord gave me strong desire to be one but in an Asia culture, this 'virtuous' mean in the English word, I have no clue what is it!
As my desire was in my heart for many months, Lord finally led me to learn the Traditional Chinese Culture that based their understanding from the Book of Proverb!!! It's not ancient people are smarter but more about they trusted the God of Israel and learnt about the Book of Proverb and Lord gave wisdom for them to write into something understandable by people, so they could apply to their daily life!!!
When I learn Xian Hui, from what it describe of a woman, then I realise what the word 'virtuous' better!!!
You remember I post about the Blessed Man and the Blessed Woman, when I heard their testimony walking in their own role defined by God!!! He was highly blessed and at that time, I complained to Lord the blessed woman has been obeying her father at home and after marriage obeyed the husband, that's natural for her!!!
For me, who fight for the woman's right in my family, how to submit like her?
Lord heard my complaint and led me to another testimony by another lady who is of stronger in Will power that I finally submitted based on her way!!!
Little did I know that Lord is moulding me down to be like the Blessed Woman!!! I mean, how me who stand strong on protecting myself, could so easily submit myself to the man who love me on the 1st day of dating without growing the trust first???
All these are with great assurance from The Lord day by day!!! Painting scenario that could raise the emotion into wanting a good love making!!!! He even promised that He will open His Love realm, the Mighty Strong Powerful Love that He opened to me as a young Christian seeking His Love!!!
He created such a happy occasion and even promised me that the strike of Lighting of Love that Kat Kerr described will happen in the process!!! He tempted me with Goodness that made me looking forward to all these!!! His Abundance of Grace and Sure Mercy of David!!!
This is how He leads me to submit!!! Only a Mighty God with the Finished Work of Jesus, who had opened the Floodgate to me could do it and willing to do it!!! Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!
He knows once I submitted, I will take him as my man and whatever he request, I am willing to submit to him!!! I am born to please man that even with ex, I hoped to give to all his needs so that no outsourcing was needed! But alas, his heart is/was not with me!!!
That's why when Lord came to ask what I want, I won't know for my heart is in pleasing those I loved!!! I don't see myself in it!!!
That's why my heart is with The Lord and doing all that He wants of me as He Loves me!!!
This is why shifting in with him is not really a problem if he got me!!! The problem is in if I am willing to submit in the early of the relationship!!!
Even ex when I loved him 6 months into the virtual relationship, he came and I went to welcome him to Singapore! I was not ready to submit even then!!! He tried to bull dozed his way but I cried!!! Then he stopped at entrance. Then he got me comfortable for a few more months and eventually the engagement then I allowed him.
That's why this request for me to submit in 1-2 times of knowing V is just too early for anything to happen in the natural!!! It took Lord 4 years talking to me, opening my mind and giving me lots of Grace!!! Even with 1 marriage, it does not mean now I could let go! No, I can't!!!
That's why when ex asked me to go find any man to satisfy myself and they also provided me with many men to tempt me!!! But I just can't!!!
That's why only by Grace could I give my body for his pleasure and mine!!! It's all by His Grace and nothing else!!!
So V, never ever jealous about my spending time with The Lord! It is necessary for my work for Him!!! In fact, I like you to spend more time to fellowship with Him for He Loves you!!! When you walk closely with Him, you might at time don't understand but by His Grace He will lead you to accomplish greater things!!! Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!
As my desire was in my heart for many months, Lord finally led me to learn the Traditional Chinese Culture that based their understanding from the Book of Proverb!!! It's not ancient people are smarter but more about they trusted the God of Israel and learnt about the Book of Proverb and Lord gave wisdom for them to write into something understandable by people, so they could apply to their daily life!!!
When I learn Xian Hui, from what it describe of a woman, then I realise what the word 'virtuous' better!!!
You remember I post about the Blessed Man and the Blessed Woman, when I heard their testimony walking in their own role defined by God!!! He was highly blessed and at that time, I complained to Lord the blessed woman has been obeying her father at home and after marriage obeyed the husband, that's natural for her!!!
For me, who fight for the woman's right in my family, how to submit like her?
Lord heard my complaint and led me to another testimony by another lady who is of stronger in Will power that I finally submitted based on her way!!!
Little did I know that Lord is moulding me down to be like the Blessed Woman!!! I mean, how me who stand strong on protecting myself, could so easily submit myself to the man who love me on the 1st day of dating without growing the trust first???
All these are with great assurance from The Lord day by day!!! Painting scenario that could raise the emotion into wanting a good love making!!!! He even promised that He will open His Love realm, the Mighty Strong Powerful Love that He opened to me as a young Christian seeking His Love!!!
He created such a happy occasion and even promised me that the strike of Lighting of Love that Kat Kerr described will happen in the process!!! He tempted me with Goodness that made me looking forward to all these!!! His Abundance of Grace and Sure Mercy of David!!!
This is how He leads me to submit!!! Only a Mighty God with the Finished Work of Jesus, who had opened the Floodgate to me could do it and willing to do it!!! Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!
He knows once I submitted, I will take him as my man and whatever he request, I am willing to submit to him!!! I am born to please man that even with ex, I hoped to give to all his needs so that no outsourcing was needed! But alas, his heart is/was not with me!!!
That's why when Lord came to ask what I want, I won't know for my heart is in pleasing those I loved!!! I don't see myself in it!!!
That's why my heart is with The Lord and doing all that He wants of me as He Loves me!!!
This is why shifting in with him is not really a problem if he got me!!! The problem is in if I am willing to submit in the early of the relationship!!!
Even ex when I loved him 6 months into the virtual relationship, he came and I went to welcome him to Singapore! I was not ready to submit even then!!! He tried to bull dozed his way but I cried!!! Then he stopped at entrance. Then he got me comfortable for a few more months and eventually the engagement then I allowed him.
That's why this request for me to submit in 1-2 times of knowing V is just too early for anything to happen in the natural!!! It took Lord 4 years talking to me, opening my mind and giving me lots of Grace!!! Even with 1 marriage, it does not mean now I could let go! No, I can't!!!
That's why when ex asked me to go find any man to satisfy myself and they also provided me with many men to tempt me!!! But I just can't!!!
That's why only by Grace could I give my body for his pleasure and mine!!! It's all by His Grace and nothing else!!!
So V, never ever jealous about my spending time with The Lord! It is necessary for my work for Him!!! In fact, I like you to spend more time to fellowship with Him for He Loves you!!! When you walk closely with Him, you might at time don't understand but by His Grace He will lead you to accomplish greater things!!! Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!
Tuesday, May 6, 2014
Passing the Baton
Praise Jesus!!! Lord impressed me to watch Kenneth E Hagin 1997 sermon, 'The Spirit of Seeing and Knowing', and just now his mantle was transferred to me!!! Glory Glory!!!
It soon to walk in His Anointing to heal the sick, raise the dead and renew youth of His Children!!! Glory Glory!!!
Abba made all things available to walk out the Path He has set for me! He said this will start after the marriage!!! Everything is coming to place!!! Hallelujah!! Amen Amen!!!
Surely I proclaim everything will work out well, it is well, it is well!!! Amen Amen!!!
It soon to walk in His Anointing to heal the sick, raise the dead and renew youth of His Children!!! Glory Glory!!!
Abba made all things available to walk out the Path He has set for me! He said this will start after the marriage!!! Everything is coming to place!!! Hallelujah!! Amen Amen!!!
Surely I proclaim everything will work out well, it is well, it is well!!! Amen Amen!!!
Monday, May 5, 2014
Life as at now
While thinking through my life as at now and from the start of January till now, even though my daily life is about spending time with The Lord, cooking my meals and clean myself, in such a routine work daily, doors has opened and doors has been shut like nobody business!!!
Yes, I did not do anything special to promote myself or make myself like or dislike!!! It just a normal me spending time with The Lord!!! It has been so since 2007 when The Lord saw my heart is for Him and He leads me into greater fellowship with Him and I had been so all these years!!!
And what happen when I just sit at His Feet to fellowship with Him only!!! What you have seen happened in my life??? Sometime, there is fore warning, sometime there is none!!! It depends if I am fearful of the situation or not!!! For those He knows I might be uncomfortable, Lord just pushed me in to let me see there is nothing to fear!!! Shifting to mum's home is one example!!!
Through all these years of walks, He shut doors to my marriage, to me as a mother for Jc! He let Jc likes her dad so much that with me she is just entertaining and when the daddy comes, is all hugs and kisses!!! Lord even let me let go of worrying for her and stop being a mother to her!!! So much so that I wondered should I stand up to receive the prayer for Mother's Day and feel weird to go collect the card to redeem the gift two weeks later!!!
Even at the first blood moon approaching, His Festival of Passover, He led me to meet V for the first time!!! Then come so many postings depends on what I seen or heard from The Lord! Lord was working on my comfortability at the same time!!!
He give Grace to come in and come through to do His Work, right! And that's what He did!!!
Imagine the week by week, as and when I go to church! Different things are happening to me under my nose!!! It is not what I could control or don't control! It just Happened!!!
Based on my comfortability, Lord is putting V with me again that I do wonder if the Word spoken was from Him or not that I prayed to Lord to remove all of the imposter voices!!!
But it seem to be still the same voice of V and me!!! Looking at the situation of whom I met, presumed his sister last week and presumed his mum this Sunday, and sometime back, that MacDonald delivery old man presumed was his grandpa, seem like door is opening in this direction!!!
I am mellowed down and work down by Lord to accept this might be a reality!!! From a self-righteous heart at my divorce that He let me let go of self-dignity and further working down my uncomfortability, that at this point, anything is possible!!! I have His Shalom Peace!!! Glory Glory!!!
Anyway, I will still sit and wait, just like Naomi told Ruth, on how Lord, the Greater Boaz, will bring things through!!! I give all Glory and Praise to His Name!!!
It's not by power, not by strength but by His Spirit and His Anointing that brings all things through for His Glory and for the Name of Jesus to be Magnified and Glorified to the North, South, East and West of This World!!! I pray in the Name of JESUS!!! Amen Amen!!
PS:
On a lighter note, just as I posted this post, I noticed today is 5th May!!! Noah found Grace, Ruth received Favor! And I shall have all the Grace and All the Favour in the Name of JESUS!!! Grace upon Grace!!!
Yes, I did not do anything special to promote myself or make myself like or dislike!!! It just a normal me spending time with The Lord!!! It has been so since 2007 when The Lord saw my heart is for Him and He leads me into greater fellowship with Him and I had been so all these years!!!
And what happen when I just sit at His Feet to fellowship with Him only!!! What you have seen happened in my life??? Sometime, there is fore warning, sometime there is none!!! It depends if I am fearful of the situation or not!!! For those He knows I might be uncomfortable, Lord just pushed me in to let me see there is nothing to fear!!! Shifting to mum's home is one example!!!
Through all these years of walks, He shut doors to my marriage, to me as a mother for Jc! He let Jc likes her dad so much that with me she is just entertaining and when the daddy comes, is all hugs and kisses!!! Lord even let me let go of worrying for her and stop being a mother to her!!! So much so that I wondered should I stand up to receive the prayer for Mother's Day and feel weird to go collect the card to redeem the gift two weeks later!!!
Even at the first blood moon approaching, His Festival of Passover, He led me to meet V for the first time!!! Then come so many postings depends on what I seen or heard from The Lord! Lord was working on my comfortability at the same time!!!
He give Grace to come in and come through to do His Work, right! And that's what He did!!!
Imagine the week by week, as and when I go to church! Different things are happening to me under my nose!!! It is not what I could control or don't control! It just Happened!!!
Based on my comfortability, Lord is putting V with me again that I do wonder if the Word spoken was from Him or not that I prayed to Lord to remove all of the imposter voices!!!
But it seem to be still the same voice of V and me!!! Looking at the situation of whom I met, presumed his sister last week and presumed his mum this Sunday, and sometime back, that MacDonald delivery old man presumed was his grandpa, seem like door is opening in this direction!!!
I am mellowed down and work down by Lord to accept this might be a reality!!! From a self-righteous heart at my divorce that He let me let go of self-dignity and further working down my uncomfortability, that at this point, anything is possible!!! I have His Shalom Peace!!! Glory Glory!!!
Anyway, I will still sit and wait, just like Naomi told Ruth, on how Lord, the Greater Boaz, will bring things through!!! I give all Glory and Praise to His Name!!!
It's not by power, not by strength but by His Spirit and His Anointing that brings all things through for His Glory and for the Name of Jesus to be Magnified and Glorified to the North, South, East and West of This World!!! I pray in the Name of JESUS!!! Amen Amen!!
PS:
On a lighter note, just as I posted this post, I noticed today is 5th May!!! Noah found Grace, Ruth received Favor! And I shall have all the Grace and All the Favour in the Name of JESUS!!! Grace upon Grace!!!
Sunday, May 4, 2014
Jc younger days!
Today church was singing about a mother's love for her child! It let me recalls about Jc!!!
She is the love of my life even though it was a hard job to rise her!
I used to buy her little sunglasses for her to shade the sun when we went out! I even make sure she had pretty hat on her head for the sun.
When I learn of massaging the spine is good, I used to do it for Jc whenever she went to sleep!!! Till these days, she still says mummy massage is so good that what daddy did is never good enough!!!
She even did it on her friends and they like it too. But when she did on me, I said it's too ticklish!!!
Those were the days I loved her but nowadays, hiaz, she don't even bother to come by if not for her daddy sake!!! Only need is when she wants to buy something then she would be coming for me!!! Hiaz!!!
She even forgets my birthday and ex was the only one that wish me that day!!! Hiaz!!!
She is the love of my life even though it was a hard job to rise her!
I used to buy her little sunglasses for her to shade the sun when we went out! I even make sure she had pretty hat on her head for the sun.
When I learn of massaging the spine is good, I used to do it for Jc whenever she went to sleep!!! Till these days, she still says mummy massage is so good that what daddy did is never good enough!!!
She even did it on her friends and they like it too. But when she did on me, I said it's too ticklish!!!
Those were the days I loved her but nowadays, hiaz, she don't even bother to come by if not for her daddy sake!!! Only need is when she wants to buy something then she would be coming for me!!! Hiaz!!!
She even forgets my birthday and ex was the only one that wish me that day!!! Hiaz!!!
Saturday, May 3, 2014
I Forgive You!
To you whom cause my marriage to breakdown:
Do not carry the guilt of what you did to my family! Guilt could lead to sickness or bad behavior, I do not want you to dwell in them!!!
What done could not be undone!!! Forgive and have a Peace of Heart!!!
Even though divorce is not what I am looking for, in a way, I am glad that it ended in this way!!!
Not that I love divorce! But to be trapped in a loveless marriage is a empty heart of sadness!!! So, getting out of it brings relieves!!! Praise Jesus!!!
I do not hate anybody as hatred is of the devil! I choose to Forgive and remain in the Shalom Peace of Jesus!!! Glory Glory!!!
But that does not mean I want to associate with any of you! I have no hard feelings but I keep my distance for peace sake! A pastor ever said if you go near the devil, his dog will bite you!!! So I keep my distance!!!
I thank Lord for all the up heave has settled in peacefulness! Glory Glory!!!
My stand with The Lord is clear now!!! I will walk in His Holiness and I shall not sin by the Grace of Jesus!!!! Hallelujah Hallelujah!!!! Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!
Thank you all for your interest in this episode. I am thankful my mind is clear now!!! Glory Glory!!!Amen Amen!!!
Do not carry the guilt of what you did to my family! Guilt could lead to sickness or bad behavior, I do not want you to dwell in them!!!
What done could not be undone!!! Forgive and have a Peace of Heart!!!
Even though divorce is not what I am looking for, in a way, I am glad that it ended in this way!!!
Not that I love divorce! But to be trapped in a loveless marriage is a empty heart of sadness!!! So, getting out of it brings relieves!!! Praise Jesus!!!
I do not hate anybody as hatred is of the devil! I choose to Forgive and remain in the Shalom Peace of Jesus!!! Glory Glory!!!
But that does not mean I want to associate with any of you! I have no hard feelings but I keep my distance for peace sake! A pastor ever said if you go near the devil, his dog will bite you!!! So I keep my distance!!!
I thank Lord for all the up heave has settled in peacefulness! Glory Glory!!!
My stand with The Lord is clear now!!! I will walk in His Holiness and I shall not sin by the Grace of Jesus!!!! Hallelujah Hallelujah!!!! Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!
Thank you all for your interest in this episode. I am thankful my mind is clear now!!! Glory Glory!!!Amen Amen!!!
Friday, May 2, 2014
Men
Men, be they young or old, they have an ego, they want to conquer!
But in this fallen world, men put their ego into conquering women. For those man that are faithful, I thank you for your faithfulness.
For others, this is a weak point that the devil uses to lead men away from their families!!!
Ex used to be a homely guy till his colleague, with a family name 'Lee' tempted him to spend the night out, first with the drinking and next a long list supply of women for him to play!!! He was led like a donkey!!!
I as his wife then prayed for 9 months endlessly for him to break from their control!!! After 9 months, I and my sister, Su, were so tired of this daily prayer to counter the attack that we decided to let him go and eventually, the divorce surfaced!!!
God said in Gensis that when man marry wife, they left their parents and joined the wife to become 1 new man!!!
But devil pervert this tactics to let men left their family to join with the new love!!! The feeling for wife and kid was gone totally when they joined with woman out there!!!!
Lies become normal that occasionally, the truth will be out that wife won't know what being said is the truth!!! Then, distrust arise and breakup happens!!!
I saw this tactic used often, by providing a temptation and expect the one being tempted to eat the hook and being led away!!!
That's how people fall from their high ground and bring shame to the families!!! One very common tactic used from the olden days till now!!!
This is the word of God in Proverb 5:1-6
'My son, pay attention to my wisdom, bend your ear to my understanding
so you can heed discretion and so your Lips can keep knowledge.
For the lips of strange woman drop like a honeycomb and her mouth is smoother then oil,
But Her End is Bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword.
Her Feet go down to Death. Her Steps Take Hold of the GRAVE.
She does not find the level path of life, her ways being unsteady and she does not know it.'
Why I wary of someone might somewhat be the same as ex, I don't want caught in such hopelessness again!!! Seeing himself killing himself softly pains my heart! Just look at King David and King Solomon, one is God's beloved, as he ran after God's heart and the other was highly blessed by The Lord.
There is one common trait in both of them; they like women!!! I was wondering why they highly blessed and yet both only live 60 years of age!!! The bible word on playing with women lead to the grave is the Truth!!!
I heard a testimony of a pastor friend of a well known pastor when he came to NCC!!! He said his pastor friend was into womanizing! He had a good supply of girls in his ministry that he refused to quit! He died in his 56!!!
I am also tired of all those lies ex used to get time off!!! As one lies, there would be things that one normally do won't be there! So it was easy to tell!!!
Lord always led me see so many lies used that I am sick and tired of all these lies!!!
I just want a simple life with a simple man. I need not all these complications that makes life hard!!!
Plus those black magic that led ex to walk the life of darkness, how can a man who did not walk closely with Lord pray himself out of them?
That's why, I am wary!!! In whom I know and in whom I eventually marry!!!
But in this fallen world, men put their ego into conquering women. For those man that are faithful, I thank you for your faithfulness.
For others, this is a weak point that the devil uses to lead men away from their families!!!
Ex used to be a homely guy till his colleague, with a family name 'Lee' tempted him to spend the night out, first with the drinking and next a long list supply of women for him to play!!! He was led like a donkey!!!
I as his wife then prayed for 9 months endlessly for him to break from their control!!! After 9 months, I and my sister, Su, were so tired of this daily prayer to counter the attack that we decided to let him go and eventually, the divorce surfaced!!!
God said in Gensis that when man marry wife, they left their parents and joined the wife to become 1 new man!!!
But devil pervert this tactics to let men left their family to join with the new love!!! The feeling for wife and kid was gone totally when they joined with woman out there!!!!
Lies become normal that occasionally, the truth will be out that wife won't know what being said is the truth!!! Then, distrust arise and breakup happens!!!
I saw this tactic used often, by providing a temptation and expect the one being tempted to eat the hook and being led away!!!
That's how people fall from their high ground and bring shame to the families!!! One very common tactic used from the olden days till now!!!
This is the word of God in Proverb 5:1-6
'My son, pay attention to my wisdom, bend your ear to my understanding
so you can heed discretion and so your Lips can keep knowledge.
For the lips of strange woman drop like a honeycomb and her mouth is smoother then oil,
But Her End is Bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword.
Her Feet go down to Death. Her Steps Take Hold of the GRAVE.
She does not find the level path of life, her ways being unsteady and she does not know it.'
Why I wary of someone might somewhat be the same as ex, I don't want caught in such hopelessness again!!! Seeing himself killing himself softly pains my heart! Just look at King David and King Solomon, one is God's beloved, as he ran after God's heart and the other was highly blessed by The Lord.
There is one common trait in both of them; they like women!!! I was wondering why they highly blessed and yet both only live 60 years of age!!! The bible word on playing with women lead to the grave is the Truth!!!
I heard a testimony of a pastor friend of a well known pastor when he came to NCC!!! He said his pastor friend was into womanizing! He had a good supply of girls in his ministry that he refused to quit! He died in his 56!!!
I am also tired of all those lies ex used to get time off!!! As one lies, there would be things that one normally do won't be there! So it was easy to tell!!!
Lord always led me see so many lies used that I am sick and tired of all these lies!!!
I just want a simple life with a simple man. I need not all these complications that makes life hard!!!
Plus those black magic that led ex to walk the life of darkness, how can a man who did not walk closely with Lord pray himself out of them?
That's why, I am wary!!! In whom I know and in whom I eventually marry!!!
It's Good to Have LORD in me
In this world, I would trade nothing for Taking Lord away in me; He is so precious!!!!
In the natural, a lot of things people might hide from us or we might have no clue of, but in Christ, is where the Answer is!!!
Just like ex, practically his life with me was a lie I lived but without Lord, I won't know and would be thinking I really because of Christianity, was the fault of the marriage broke down. But Lord revealed the truth, then I realised ex is just using it as an excuse as he did not want me to use the reason of his unfaithfulness!!!
Now, even know someone might like me much, but when Lord gives me the family background, it does not affected me directly as such, it is still permissible!!!
However, when Lord revealed he is somewhat like ex, then it direct impacted me that I pull my distant further away!!! Lord said it will be a waste of time to be with him. I had already suffered much under ex that I won't want another round of the same thing. The poor thing is the kid, the emotion breakdown they went through. Even after so many years, to hear that I might have a future with someone else, Jc asked, 'what about her?' Even she, who didn't bother much about me!!!
As such, I need Lord's wisdom for the right man!!!
Basically, the last man is pleasing to the eyes and if no interference, I won't mind try him out! But with Lord, He told me the ending before the start that He stopped me from moving forward immediately!!!
I know of what they did to try to prevent me from going to the Star! But without a valid reason, I was wondering why they are blocking? Even though not successful in blocking!!! Praise The Lord, who is the God Most High, El Shadia!!!! Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!
When Lord give me the reason to move away, I obeyed and moved!!! To their surprise of why I shift my location!!! They use transport, people and even internet and curses to prevent me from booking to going to the Star!!! It might cause some inconvient but it didn't stop me!!!
However, Lord just tell me that he not suit me and wanted me to avoid, I just obeyed!!! See how man vs God!!! His Yoke is easy and His Burden is light!!!
Even in convincing my heart to stop for him, by telling me that he is somewhat like ex is enough to send a big Alarm rising in me that whatever I had in my heart, just flew off!!! Lord's way easier right?!!! He knows what works and what don't!!!
This is why I always listen to Him as I know He has the best interest for me!!! Glory!!! Glory!!!
That's why, I only listen to Lord but not anyone else!!! Glory!!! Glory!!! Amen!!! Amen!!!
In the natural, a lot of things people might hide from us or we might have no clue of, but in Christ, is where the Answer is!!!
Just like ex, practically his life with me was a lie I lived but without Lord, I won't know and would be thinking I really because of Christianity, was the fault of the marriage broke down. But Lord revealed the truth, then I realised ex is just using it as an excuse as he did not want me to use the reason of his unfaithfulness!!!
Now, even know someone might like me much, but when Lord gives me the family background, it does not affected me directly as such, it is still permissible!!!
However, when Lord revealed he is somewhat like ex, then it direct impacted me that I pull my distant further away!!! Lord said it will be a waste of time to be with him. I had already suffered much under ex that I won't want another round of the same thing. The poor thing is the kid, the emotion breakdown they went through. Even after so many years, to hear that I might have a future with someone else, Jc asked, 'what about her?' Even she, who didn't bother much about me!!!
As such, I need Lord's wisdom for the right man!!!
Basically, the last man is pleasing to the eyes and if no interference, I won't mind try him out! But with Lord, He told me the ending before the start that He stopped me from moving forward immediately!!!
I know of what they did to try to prevent me from going to the Star! But without a valid reason, I was wondering why they are blocking? Even though not successful in blocking!!! Praise The Lord, who is the God Most High, El Shadia!!!! Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!
When Lord give me the reason to move away, I obeyed and moved!!! To their surprise of why I shift my location!!! They use transport, people and even internet and curses to prevent me from booking to going to the Star!!! It might cause some inconvient but it didn't stop me!!!
However, Lord just tell me that he not suit me and wanted me to avoid, I just obeyed!!! See how man vs God!!! His Yoke is easy and His Burden is light!!!
Even in convincing my heart to stop for him, by telling me that he is somewhat like ex is enough to send a big Alarm rising in me that whatever I had in my heart, just flew off!!! Lord's way easier right?!!! He knows what works and what don't!!!
This is why I always listen to Him as I know He has the best interest for me!!! Glory!!! Glory!!!
That's why, I only listen to Lord but not anyone else!!! Glory!!! Glory!!! Amen!!! Amen!!!
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