It's no joke to have my fight with SF all these years since 2008 or 2009. I was thinking, why this fight have not come to an end yet. Even though Lord came through and always answered my prayer, in the natural, I do not like to fight at all. I am an unwilling fighter. Glory Glory! Amen Amen!
Long ago, as I always fight lose to my brother, he was from the student soldier unit in school and had learnt Tae Kwon Do and there was no way for me to win him in our sparing. I decided to join the Tae Kwon Do club in my Junior College days. But, usually come to sparing, I always in defense, I do not like to be offensive. As my brother had a higher belt level, I could not win him anyway, so I stopped this TKD practice after my College days. Glory Glory!
Lately, this unwilling to fight kick in again. I was asking Lord how long more must I fight. Praise Jesus! Lord answered me in today sermon by Pastor Prince. Lord said that all these shaking is necessary. If no shaking, I would not know what ex was doing out there. It was a chain of happenings, where his fall from 1 pit to the next pit till I given up praying for him.
These chain of events eventually led to the final divorce and the past 2 years, the more I learnt about him, the more my heart died that I no more want him to be back to me. I was toggling between he is bad and Lord had changed him to bring him back till Lord showed me the new man.
From that moment on, I no more toggling. Now I can firmly believe Lord want me to move on to the new man. Ex is beyond all hope of coming to Him. Glory Glory!
It was this fighting with SF and he unable to do it to win me over sending devil from a distant that I saw ex involvement in it. Whatever I doubted, Lord showed me clear evidents that I praise Him for all the revelation. With all these revelation, my heart could be dead to him that even when Lord removed all my anger and unhappiness about him, I do not want him anymore. Glory Glory! Amen Amen!
Lord also uses this encounter with the devil to show me what kind of tricks they could play. I am glad that even though I suffered some pain, some itchiness, some lost consciousness, some weak and no strength and not enough blood etc...Lord is always faithful, He never let me die under their evil tricks. When I could not, He came in to revive me to continue playing and learning again. Glory Glory!
Next time you see Lord raise up mightily through me, don't envy me. I have to go through all these fire to reach there. It's not rosy rosy walk. But Lord is faithful nevertheless. The more I grow in Him, the more I see what He is able to do. It's through all these revelation that I know that I know, He is always here and whatever I face, is just a prayer away. Glory Glory! Amen Amen!
Lord:
'My Beloved, My Love, My Darling, Abba is so glad that you understand My Pain to bring you through all these to build you up to be usable by Me! Glory Glory! Abba loves you dearly. You are such a amazing daughter! Your faithfully stay closely to Me to let Me bring all forms of test to you is just amazing. Glory Glory! Surely, you are seeing the end of this learning. Glory Glory! Amen Amen!'
Thank You, Abba Father! I receive all these in Jesus Name! Amen Amen!
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