Lord is good in this arranged match making. Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!
My first impression of C wasn't that good, especially listened to him talking to the girl patient near the window. I saw him as unrefined. But now, if think in term of his shyness, then it is acceptable.
At first, I could not accept his appearance too. But Lord cleared this dislike from my heart. Pastor Lian told us in Church today to open our heart to all that Lord Jesus wanted to pour into us. I opened my heart to receive and the dislike was gone suddenly!!!
Then as I was going to mum hospital, Lord showed me many couples together and made me longed to be like them. He let me know C loves me and get me to long for his love. This is how Lord worked in me by His Grace!!!
Actually, I am not one of those adventurous person. I rather stay with what I know than what I don't know. The unknown brings me discomfort. This is why I took a long time to move ahead.
I was a shy girl previously. Then I reasoned with myself if every one is shy about themselves, then there is nothing to be shy. This was how I convinced myself not to feel shy when I was in my 20s. Glory Glory!!!
Did I regret marrying ex? Yes, many times, especially when he hack care about me. But I just told Lord about it many times and lived with it. Lord had to lead me through many shut the doors for me to let go fully of ex. Mainly because what is familiar is better than what is unknown. Not that I still have feeling for him, I have cleared all that long ago!!!
Even for Jc, Lord also led me through shut the doors so that I as a mum, won't feel pain to let go of her!!! Especially, what I had advised her gone into deaf ears while ex's gf advice of the same thing become very important!!! Disappointment, disappointment!!!
Just now Jc let me play a game that predicted I am going to be very rich. Then she said, 'Mummy, I can get lots of money from you!!!' Her thought is about getting money from daddy or mummy and she need not study hard. I will not spoil her!!! This is ex training by giving her $200 to buy her Christmas gifts each year!!! At time the amount went up to $500. This is why I do not agree with his parenting, but now it's biting him back!!!
Lord said I now open heart to C, He could bring my blessing through and renewed my body!!! Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!
Regarding of this year theme for NCC, the Keys of David, Lord was sharing about Deuteronomy 28:11-13. There are 3 Jesus signature in these 3 verses. When Pastor Prince preached it early this year, I did not get them into my spirit. Even when Pastor Lian first mentioned it today, I also could not receive into my spirit!!!
It was when Pastor Lian narrated her blur mistake of blessing someone a cheque but had forgotten to sign it and she reminded us again Jesus signed His Name 3 times on these blessings and surely I can bank it to receive the blessings. Glory Glory!!!
I received into my spirit and now I hold firmly to the blessings. It is when I did that, that the uncomfortable with C, the longing for his love, the open heart to him took place!!! Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!
I was walking to the LRT station this morning and saw a handsome man on the path to the station. Lord told me he is C's older brother!!! Lord let me sensed the other person in the car as I crossed my road was tracing me too. Anyway, I am okay with this. Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!
Jc previously did not want me to find another man. Now her heart is opened to me going for other man than her daddy!!! She said if the other man is not like daddy, at least he won't scold me so fiercely. She still remembered the scene where ex wanted me to hand her passport to him!!!
That was how bad that struggle was and I could not stopped crying very deeply till Jesus Christ pulled me out of it when I worshipped Him even though I was crying very sadly!!! Guess Lord had changed her thoughts too!!! Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!
Really many thoughts and thinking changed from accepting of Lord's Deuteronomy 28:11-13 blessings!!!! Hallelujah!!! Amen Amen!!!!
At this moment, I am in Peace with myself. I am not thinking I am unworthy of anyone anymore!!! This is one reason I have not been actively searching. I was dying my death with all the attacks spiritually and purely surviving.
Lord promised to clear all that when I receive the fullness of the blessing!!! Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!!
I trusted Him, He will brings all things to past!!! Surely it is good!!! Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!
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