Lately, with the surge of gas, water and electricity into my apartment, partly due to old age of the home appliances, my toilet lamp interior need to be change and last night, the aircon die on me too. So cost is rising!!!
As I have just changed the bulb and the starter of the lamp, I am wondering why it gone off again. The new grocery shop that open here, the shop people, told me that a metal part might be faulty.
As I am not an electrician, even though I am clueless, I am trying to change it even thou it involved a few wires that is unknown to me. The man, was asking me to buy the whole new set of the lamp with everything included to save the trouble!
Well, in the process, I disclosed my divorce term and my soon to move out, as I do not want to waste too much of my limited funds on things that will soon not be mine! The man on hearing the unfair divorce term, was suggesting ways I could do to change it!
As I am not looking to what I have but to His Provision, I told him that 'it's okay as I am looking to Jesus blessing'. As he is not a believer in Christ, he swept off the idea.
On reaching home, after another trip to the shop and buying dinner, I saw a woman that looked like a casual police woman. She was asking for donation and as I am yet to start on Lord's given job, I have no income and I reject it.
Then, it occurred to me, it's another check on my income again!!! Through these 3.5 years after divorce, I do get different form of asking me about if I have any income. They are wondering how I manage to survive, I guess!!! Well, even my siblings also worry for me and had been pushing me to go find a job!!! They look to my lack and yet, have no intention to supply me that they are pushing me out.
It's not I don't want to go to look for a job, but as Lord is rising me to do His Job, I have to wait upon Him. But as God is invisible, no one could see Him and they could not believe He is so good!!!
I mean, long ago, I did feel poor due to the lack of income!!! But as I changed my opinion on myself to see over my fence to look into Lord's Provision, I see myself rich instead. The bible taught us to ask and speak before we see it!!! Opposite of what the world knows!!!
As I had disclosed here before, Lord led me to cash an insurance that He had impressed me to get when Jc was a baby and I did have a sum of money, which I thought I will spent in 2 years!!!
However, Glory to the Power of Lord 5 Loaves 2 Fish miracle!!! As I spent time on His Words, He prospered me in the fund for a few months, think about 6-8 months, He maintained the amount that I only realised of His Miracle on my saving account!!! Then about last year, I guess His Blessing manifesting soon, this fund had been declining on a gentle speed!!!
How did I survive these 3.5 years since 2010 till now without an income, I don't know!!! I just know I could buy whatever I need without going into lack!!! This Miracle on my spending is amazing. I don't bother about how it happens, but even those checking on me was wondering if I have an income!!! Glory Glory to His Provision!!! Amen Amen!!!
Even myself also wonder how I still have a comfortable amount to go by. Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!
Recently, even though I see myself not looking great, Lord brought men to sit beside me or facing me showing interest in me!!! I am surprised by their smile or the SMRT staff that opened his legs and hands and in pretend sleep act. I was embarrassed sitting right across him in that almost empty cabin!!!
Today, the man that sat next to me was speaking to me as Ps Prince told us to speak blessing to our neighbour!!! He would turn to me to say before turning to his wife. Even when time to go off, he lingered and gave me a smile before going off with his wife!!!
Lord is showing me man of my age group is interested in me, to show me I am not as bad as I think of myself!!! Even though I felt through whatever the devil is doing, I thought I am ugly!!! But Lord told me otherwise!!! He said I am younger than most of my age group!!! Amazing!!! Amen Amen!!!
Now that my bad feeling for P is gone, He is telling me that eventually he will be tempted to move back. Lord is still on the heart of bringing him back!!!
These 2 weekends, P is starting to take picture of this apartment and designing the enhancement that he wants to put in here after I leave. The due date is end this year. But if I move off any earlier, he could start the renovation. Thus, he is finally drawing plans to improve the design of this home!!! Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!
To see he so keen on it, it also mean my due time reaching, thus I was a bit into the reality of things happening. So, I am also waiting more eagerly for Lord manifestation of His Blessing!!! Glory Glory!!!
Even though time is bad, even for me, but Lord is good in encouraging me that I could still survive each day!!! Even when I was weak, He kept me alive and to continue the next day!!! Time just runs!!! It was just the start of July and now July ending soon!!!
Many times, I prayed to die, I pray to Lord to take my spirit but Lord kept me alive!!! He let me went through so much that He is not wasting time training another to go through all these!!! So, you could understand what I went through that even death looks more attractive to me than live!!!
That's why I told you here it's not by my power nor by my strength, but by His Spirit and His Amazing Grace!!! Even when I was too tired to pray, He still kept me alive!!! So, how to die???? Not possible!!!
He just want to see if I will still look to Him even when I face such situation. Yes, I did give Him a condition. I told Him that if He really need me to stay alive for His Glory, then healed me as Christ at the Cross had finished everything!!! Otherwise, take me home!!! He always keep me alive for His Glory!!! How I get strong again, it's also His Grace!!!
Did Job die when he went to his worst state??? Even his wife told him to pray to Lord and die!!! Did David die when enemy surrounded him??? No, Lord raised them up again when they look to Him for deliverance. It's character molding that He put us through!!! Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!
It's not easy to stand on His Glory!!! He has to make sure that I don't fail in my success that He is putting me through all these!!! It's all about His Grace and nothing about me!!! Even when I become very pretty and sexy and rich, it is still His Grace and nothing about me. I must always remembers through His Grace!!! Glory Glory!!!
This is why this not look to money is important training too!!! The world will wonder why I not keen to fight for money like all of them did. This is also Lord leading me through since young so that my focus will only be on Him and Him alone!!!
One might chase the little and lost the big!!! He is the Author and the Provider of all the oils, gold, silver and minerals in the earth for His Children to find. Men don't know He is the provider and thus look to it as what they could seek themselves!!! But, the greater Glory is looking to Him as the Provider and enjoy the peace of spending whatever one need and have enough to last!!! Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!
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