The Heart of God

Many a times, children of God looks at Abba from a distance and judge how, who He is. They look at certain bible verses to support their views and hold strong to their own conviction. When Abba said in the bible, we are made in His Image, how many believe? Yes, Lord has our feeling and our tenderness too. Many did not walk close enough to feel His heart beat but look to the darkness of the world and believes in the lies. Do you know, whether your thinking is good or bad, in the eyes of God, it is still bad? Why? Because it is the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil that you are climbing and believing, which is a choice of your thoughts and actions.

Lets use my life to show some examples. Like my divorce, many people would quote bible verses to say that God do not support divorce. But once you walk closely to Lord, you will know He moves based on what you need in your life to reach a certain goal that receive his blessings. Glory to Jesus!

When I was holding to 'Lord will definitely change my ex', I did not realise that daily, I still cared a lot for him. I would buy his drinks and his titbits for him. And even cooking dinner for him. This still carried on the 9 months of suffering in and out and even in divorce and even after divorce. Lord saw my faithfulness was preventing Him to change ex. Finally, he knew he had to intervene. Praise the Lord!

He let me built a hedge of protection around me and Jc. Usually, when this hedge is built, it will get the intended partner to show their true ugly self. Daily most of us hide in our social mask. The hedge revealed the true heart of man sin.

With that, ex was in great anger over jc for not answering to his query face to face. Lord knew I would intervene and ex was in greater anger. Through Jc's passport issue, we had the greatest verbal fight and out came his threat to call the police and I was deeply hurt! With that, whatever little cares I left for him flew out of the window.

When I combined prayer with my sis, Su, the next day to clear the guilt, fear, grief, trauma etc from each of our family members life, Lord impressed me to pray for ex, for he had great hatred for his dad, that even in his dad's death, he wanted nothing from him. This hatred from the age of 5 had resulted in the manifestation of devilish behaviour and strong keenness in seeing porno pictures.

By the Grace of Jesus, after prayer, ex no more surf those sites. Glory Glory! Lord has planned how we will be back together again. This is a miracle of water into wine that He, my beloved Abba will perform on our marriage. We will surely be happily married again. All by the Grace of Jesus! Amen Amen!

Previously, I had a saving of S$80K that I saved in the bank for old age use. As I accepted Christ, I told Lord, since he is a great God and want to bless me much, I need not touch this amount. Hehe...but I did not realise I was looking at the comfort of having this amount and not looking intensely at Lord's provision. He wants to bless me much because He sees my faithfulness. But my heart was closed tightly that He could not pour even a grain into my life.

As such, in the right time, that time ex had already stopped giving me allowance and I was spending on this saving. Lord told me to tithe 10% of this saving to One North, New Creation Church new building. I obeyed but was heart pain over it. In my wallet, there was 3 compartments, one for $50 notes, one for $10 notes and the outer one for $5 and $2 notes. I was so heart pain over this, my life dependence, that I put the cheque in the $50 notes compartment. Then Lord let me recalled a sermon that said we should not look at what we have but to look to Lord's provision, over the fence of our safety net. I decided to look to the richness of Lord provision instead of my tiny amount. Then I decided that this 10% is ikan billis, and put in the $5 and $2 note compartment. Hehe..

When Lord saw my heart was opened a little, and looked to Him for provision, He challenged me to tithe another 40% of it. With my future provision unsure, this round I walked in faith and gladly tithe it to the New Kingdom of God.

I thought that's all, but the remainder, Lord planned Israel trip and I paid for myself, sis and her husband. I bought a near thousand camera and paid a iphone (to store sermons and worship songs for Israel use) that cost me a lot too. Plus allowance to my mum monthly and other expenses, Lord led me to fully finished it. NO MORE SAVING left!!!!

With that, finally I looked to Abba and proclaim, Abba, Lord Jesus, you surely will bless me and have been looking to him for provision. Lord is faithful, He got ex to keep topping up the joint account for my daily expenses that I does not feel lack. I have even take cabs to church and when visiting my mum weekly! Feeling rich (walk by faith), hehe!

While patiently and believing that Lord big turnaround will happen, I rest in Him and faithfully listen to his sermon and talk to Lord daily.

Hope you can see the heart of God through this post. When He leads, it's a peaceful flowing in his shalom peace no matter what the situation is. Glory Glory! Amen Amen!