Chinese New Year Thinking

Even though my mum is in Heaven now, I praise her for her business mind that had everything well planned for us, her children. We have an easy journey on her sleeping and things went pretty smoothly as we learn step by step on what we have to do after her Return to The Lord!!! She is a great blessing to us! Glory Glory!!!

The only thing that comfort me is she is in Heaven now, at the Closeness of Abba love and at the same time, after missing my dad for 5 years, they are finally reunited in Heaven!!! I thank Lord for opening a Sunday for them to accept Christ; His Salvation! This is the most important event in their lives, even though their after thought felt that I had cheated them to accept Christ.

Now that they are back to The Lord, they finally can see for themselves the Truth!!! Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!

Lord is good to me, He knows that I would be alone to celebrate Reunion Diner that He sent Jc to be here with me for the Reunion Dinner to be meaningful to me. Lord taught me to do butterfly prawn and they were the highlight of the dinner! Jc and me both enjoyed it so much!!!

However, due to slow and intermittent of the internet connection on the mifi that ex had brought to kill her boredom was not good enough and she had went home today!!! Even I did play with her, she still find me boring!!!

I have trained myself not to get into the worldly excitement but to remain in the peace of Jesus but to Jc, it's boring!!!

She prefers to stay with her daddy and I am fine with this arrangement! Glory to Jesus Shalom Peace!!!

In this Chinese New Year, I believe the Greater Glory will manifest as church is restarting the Bible Study in Feb 2014. This means my training should be ending soon. Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!

Thank you, reader, all over the world for interested in what Lord is doing in my life!!! If not for Him, I would be in Heaven long ago but He is faithful to keep me alive; especially evil is send spirt to suck me dry, to suck dry my brain and to keep planting all kinds of sicknesses to kill me, to bend my neck and to build a hump on the back of my neck, also to build a goiter and make me cripple but Lord is Faithful God!!!

When He want to use me, His Grace has been opening the doors for me to start my journey and when I was drained, He boosted me up to continue walking till today. If His Grace has carried me all these years, I believe He will deliver me through!

It's all about Him and not about me!!! Even this walk to realise what mum had gone through; I could only thank Lord for His Finished Work at the Cross that delivers my mum to a better place alive, not dead! Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen! For Lord said He IS a God of Abraham, Ixacc and Jacob! He didn't say He was...so they are still alive and mum and dad is still alive!!! Glory Glory!! Amen Amen!!!

After knowing about the Truth of Heaven, I could only envy them that they have gone back to Lord to enjoy His Love!!! But I still have work down here to do!!! Hallelujah!!! Amen Amen!!!

Abba Father, I thank You for taking good care of Your Beloved! Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!

The World need Jesus

I come to realise, the world need Jesus!!!

Those who curse me, who take my things, who comment about me, who do all kinds of things to affect my mood, who tried to receive pleasure for doing something against their own hearts, they all need the Love of Jesus!

I was read a school Facebook and the school told the pupils to try their best! It's this I must win over someone, over myself, that it gets man to focus on themselves and become proud.

One could out of a moment of folly commit a sin, the solution given by Lord Jesus is to come to His Finished Work at the Cross and Thank Him for carrying the Sin for you and you are forgiven freely.

However, when one do not know what Jesus had accomplished for them, they would try their best to reach there! Many a time, the thoughts of man are negative and this would lead to Endless Works to reach their goals. But Jesus said that He had put you on the Finished Line, and now enjoy the Blessedness!

Why would anyone come against me? Basically, they are carrying their sin in their heart all these years! The result of carrying this guilt is to find ways to hide the Truth of the Sin. If you cast it to The Lord and thank Him for carrying the Sin on His Back and each Stripes on His Back has redeemed all the moments of wrong, this Shalom Peace that only Jesus could give, you will reign in it.

The works of darkness is to get one fall deeper and deeper into doing even more wrong to cover a lesser wrong doing! It is a spiral downward and endless spin that one would wonder where they are heading to!

If power and status could bring a person to reach the Shalom Peace of Jesus, then trying to do all that to maintain the position of power and status is justified.

But as the Shalom Peace only come from the Prince of Peace, Jesus Himself, fighting to maintain by own self will only result in stress and guilt and condemnation.

Even the joy of letting others suffer lost and make sure joy get out of them will not be great happiness, the laugh of a great work done has a bad after taste that cannot shake off or hide, worst of it all would be ignorance by it.

Abba, by the Grace of Jesus, I pray that not by power, not by might but by your Spirit, You break the veil covering their eyes and their spirit of bondage out of each and everyone of them; to see the Goodness of Jesus Finished Work for them that they need not strive to cover their wrong doing nor need to maintain their position of power and status!

Let them see only through Jesus that they could be blessed as Jesus is willing and faithful God!!! Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!! I pray on behalf of them all in the Name of Jesus!!! Amen Amen!!!

My Life

I don't know what so special of my life that spiritually Lord anointed me to be His 2nd Coming that nobody could understand and when I told them, it brought great puzzle to them while siblings thought I am dreaming and ex said I out of mind!

I also don't know why, a big group of people so interested in me, to see how I deal with all the spirits they ordered for my training, and where I go they will make sure to comment on why I choose my way of life.

Even though for myself I thought I was a small fly and on Christ, He said I am the eagle that slide above the current, the sheep that my Shepheard carries on His Shoulder and I am His Great Love that His Beloved Son, Lord Jesus Christ to go to the Cross to die for me so that I could get His Resurrected Life; made the Righteousness of God, my Abba, in Christ Jesus!!!

I thought I want a happily married life but the man looks at younger girls and said bye bye!!!

I thought I have a cute daughter but she prefers daddy than mummy.  But partly is due to ex put me down in her presence since P2 till now that her opinion of me is not good.

Lord rising me so highly up that everyone is clueless! Only Lord Himself know!!! I saw in the bible it's a secret hidden in 1 Cor 15:51 and Rev 20:4-5....it's still a secret and everyone is clueless how it is going to happen. Lord rise me for this purpose, but guess people would ask is why me? Even I also asked!!!

I do hope when Lord tested me till I could not take it, I should have dig a hole and hide in it and never surface!!! I hope that when Lord pushed me to the undesirable I should turn and run away! But I didn't and just go where He put me!!!

He loves me so much that I let Him pushed me to wherever He wants me to go!!! Do I have a choice??? He Almighty God and I am just His Temple!!! How can He goes there and I don't follow???

Abba, my Father!!!! Lord Jesus, my Beloved Lord Jesus!!!! Holy Spirit, my Lord!!!! I want my Freedom!!! Young time no one bothers but now everyone seem to bother!!! Maybe You are training me to reach that Day where You in me in Great Glory, I will be the talk of the town that you are leading me to get used to the talk!!! Actually I don't bother much but just wonder why they must talk it out? Wonder what is the purpose of this. Anyway, I have to let the dog bark and bark but the moon still shines!!!

Thank You, ABBA, for selecting me to be the Heir of the World!!! Glory Glory!!!

In Temporary Hold

Life still goes on in this home of old. Even though it is not much of a change of me, but the new environment helps me to move on with life n not hold on to the past.

Jc came for an overnight n she enjoyed looking at my younger days n commented I looked like an air stewardess in my younger days, why I turned so ugly now!!! With what was attacking me, what to do?

I realised I in my suspicious, I had misunderstood ex. He honored the 4 yrs he promised and even give me 2 weeks on extra for compassion ground, which is good!

Only this unwilling to come place, Lord purpose  let me be here to get tested even more! I know I live in no security of home as mum had told me all that about her! So I was not surprised when it happens.

But since Lord want them to see that I have nothing against anybody, I am prepared to be checked!!

But I treasured all that I have be it small or big but if things not mean to be mine, I just don't have the choice!!!

It's about check it all, even though I am a very private person. Just like long ago when I don't want anyone to see my home my privacy, Lord purposely had a bright sun shine that afternoon even though I prayed for fine weather. So out of no choice, have to invite the mums to my home to enjoy the air conditioning that they were amazed by what I lived in. This was a prelude to this greater test of bare all that I have to be seen!!!

Every one of us likes our own privacy! But Lord gets me to do the opposite! To bare the fullness of my soul!!! Who dare to walk such path? By His Grace that I am doing this! If Jesus in His Love for Abba, the Almighty God, willingly went to the Cross, this is a lesser will by Father God!

I don't know the intention but it's a fearfully agree to do so for His Sake!!!

Lord promised it won't be long! If the Jews in walking away had to endure the Holocaust, being naked, being killed, everything they had was ripped from them, this is a lot less cause that Lord putting me through! Only He knows the reason behind it! Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!

I know in future I will have all the money to buy all that I want and cannot finish spending it even for the 1500 yrs, but it's still no joke to walk through this all!! That's why Lord never really warned me about moving here but waited for the last moment. I know there were signs as this is the only place available to me!!

I didn't know about 7+ yrs ago, when I prayed to Lord that I don't want my shitty life, and I wanted His Gloriously risen life, I have to walk through a greater shit!!! As if His Promised of I will have all that I want and much more left over can compensate anything. Guess I have to let go everything!!!

As you can see, if I could shit tears of blood I would go through it! It's asking me such a private person to open my door n allow all things to be touch, feel, see etc etc!!! It's this intrude of privacy that I have to let go n let it be done with!!

Abba, I need a Stronger portion of Grace to walk through all!!! Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!

My Journey with the Lord

I thought, tested since 2008 till now, I thought I have it all. But yesterday, I was told that I am to go to my mum home for a couple of months to continue being tested again. It does not sound good especially I woke up this morning with a dark shadow walked off my bedroom after all the sucking of my life.

Basically, even this is the year of Greater Glory, I am suffering more!!! Lord promised me of the blessed life seem hard to get. I wondered if Lord Jesus gone through all that as He was tested for and fasted for 40 days in the desert.

Basically Lord is putting me to walk the path that my mum walk through and now she is in Heaven. Praise Jesus! Maybe to show a different result???

Deserted by a man, deserted by my own child and now push to where I don't want to go, even just for a couple of months, it's as if I am ripped open to be examined inside out!!! With no security in her house, I just leave it to the Lord what He aim to be....

I thought trusting Him is easy, but as He pushed me deeper to be tested, I just have to accept it and move on.

Su messaged me to fight with ex for the half share of my entitlement of this house, but I rather look to the Lord for provision. Why get into the strife of this world? I rather flow with the Lord! As it is, isn't there enough of trouble each day, Lord said do not pick up Trouble nor to fear!!!

I don't know why Lord want me to walk this path. Now I am like the Children of Israel; I wondered tortured in the loveless marriage better or now in the current state of my girl rather stick with her dad and dad want me to get out of this house today.

It sounded like the most cursed life of sell and no one want to buy!!! But Lord want me to go in a live a life out of it for a couple of months. It's like the bride of Israel must soaked in living water for a couple of months to purify them for their great day. But where I go, guess is a further purification of my soul to walk with the Lord in humility and in understanding of the suffering of people!

Am I at the worst of worst, I guess not! As Lord at the Cross did a Perfect Work for me, how can I in deep shit!!! As He is, so am I in this world. I am called to reign through Him, not to be a chicken, but an eagle!!!

Lord promised it shall not be long and I believe in Him. After all, my mum house has to be sold. I am just temporary taking a cover there for the time being. Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen

This will be my last post here. What I have shared is enough for those who wants to walk with the Lord to read and learn. What has to be said is said. Lord has impressed me to stop posting. I might not sign up a internet access and so, this will be next few months of going deeper into the Lord. Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!

Hiaz!

For he who wants to take advantage of my kindness in not fighting with him for half of the share of this house, instead of being grateful, he is actually have it all in his mind!!!

I told him that long ago, I had already found out based on my signing of the divorce paper is not in the presence of the lawyer, the Commission of Oath, but his secretary, the lawyer was not around that evening when I went to sign. It was through talking to another lawyer that this could make the divorce void.

Also, the lawyer has agreed with him that even though under the agreement, he got the care and control of our girl but I am the one looking after her. Lawyer even jokingly said I become the maid with the wife allowance as the salary!!!

Based on what they planned and agreed with full understanding, my lawyer told me this lawyer license could be affected and the marriage made void.

But, as in Christ, I supposed to forgive the enemy, and remain in peace of God, I did not go fight for my girl care and control and half share of this house. I let him have his way after considering he and our girl need a place to stay, and also previously I liked this home, I did not want this home to be sell away.

I took it as my payment of whatever he had spent on me. I want to have a clean bill with him. He was not responding to me in my messaging to him. So, I told him that if he sin against me, cheated away the house from me, then he in sin will get defensive and turned nasty.

But I told him that if he take this half of my entitlement as I am blessing him, he should be grateful to me and not be nasty. After the sms, he finally come here smiling. But he wanted me to move. I didn't take much notice of what he shifted till I see clearly today.

All my bakewares and my pots, he eying them even though he tell me I could have them. These are those that he left behind. The rest of my stuff and my mum stuff that he is not keen off, he shifted them to my mum house.

And he said he will take over the house on Tuesday and I have to hand all my keys to him and out I go. He is even cheekily smiling as he went off just now!!!

He is hoping I without a car, have no ability to shift and he might took over as what his gf had said, to leave behind my things!!!

It seem like those who want to sin against us, no matter if we know who they are or if we even bother to wonder who they are as it happens so long ago and no whatever clue to know who they are at all. Even if we know, it more of my great grandfather fault to not take care of his business then anything. We have even hack the care of such an event as it don't benefit us in any sense.

Now come to Christ, what I look to is Lord's blessed life, not that from any mere man. Lord is the Creator of the Whole Universe and He is in better place to bless me my life than any man could ever compare to GOD and Jesus Finished Work.

It is with this thought that I don't want to sin against God that I don't fight ex on the house as that would put myself under stress and stress is the start of other negative things in life that I do not want to dwell in. I rather trust in Jesus and let Him bless me that any other ways.

As such, my part is to show love and not hatred nor fight the fight which man will do without Christ. Without Christ, man has to strive for his own wants but in Christ, it's about looking to Jesus Finished Work and believe He would bless me.

But to man, they don't understand this view point. They thought that I should sin to get to them but GOD forbid!!! I do not want to sin against Him and go to the devil. I rather remain in love and in peace for Jesus sake! Presenting God as a nasty God by Moses caused him the blessed land. I do not want to wrongly represent Him!!!

Anyway, Only Lord understands me. Only He could bring me out of all the nasty situation. Not that we bother to fight, but it's about what others assumed what we would do based on how themselves is. For a person who don't go into sin purposely won't even bother to think about what others might do to him! Anyway, only Abba would know them and their minds. I don't bother!!!

Just like ex, thinking I am trying to drag his plan to kick me out and whatever I do or don't do, he said it that I am not showing that I am shifting!!!

Anyway, hack to him!!! I will somehow bring my things out and he shall not have them. Since he agree, I have the right to have them. Those things that was given to us or I want to buy, those he wants I left behind! I am not taking. But it seem it is not enough. Hiaz!!!

The Peace before the Storm

With just a day left before the day that ex said will ship me out, I could feel like the Children of Israel before the Promise Land.

After walking with Lord for 7 years, His Countless testing on blessing me, from excited to receive till many many disappointments, what I left now is as if the Israeli having walked 39 years in the desert and Lord said now go possess the Land of Milk and Honey. But 8 leaders said there were giants in the land while only 2 leader said they were bread for us to eat!!!

After so much disappointment, ex threat to ship me out on Saturday sound so loud in me!!! Lord did promise to bring me out. But after His many failure attempt, I am actually pretty disappointed. Partly I associate this blessed home with mum living with me; but now she has gone to be with the Lord!!!

I can't imagine going to a home with just me alone. What fun is there if the joy cannot be shared???

Even I become the heir of the World, with so much money, but what I want is just the love of a family!!! Money is nothing in my eyes, it can't even keep me happy as it is dead!!! Even if I can buy a lot of things but so what, it's still lifeless!!!

I thank Lord that He is a God of Love. I long to go back to Him to enjoy being strike by the thunder of love in it's mega watt that the whole being is exposed in great Love. I love the atmosphere of Love of God is present no matter where in Heaven I am. I like to see the Crystal River and play in the amusement park where flying can be learnt and the roller coaster can roll into air before landing back on track. I like to dive into the waterfall and enjoy the fun of it.

I love everything that the Lord has provided for the Children of God just to have fun. Kids can even slide from 1 cloud to another one! The fun up there is just so wonderful. I am glad mum and dad are there to enjoy life!!!

I love the colourfulness of the Heavens and the perfume that comes from the flowers is what can never found on earth. Every bit of it up that is so good that I long to go up there but have to remain for the Glory of Lord to shine!!!

Lord, I thank You for let me vent all these out!!! I feel much better now. Praise Jesus!!! Amen Amen!!!

I Give Glory to the Finished Work of Christ in Me!

If you read this blog, you will realise throughout the 7 years of walking, there are many times it's about Jesus deliverance of me out of the hand of the evil one.

I give Glory that He knows what has been happening in this country and He is using me to show them whatever they trust to get their fame and their power spiritually, it's not going to work for Jesus as He is the One and Only God that went to the Cross for all who believe and through Him, none shall be wasted. Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!

Ex might wonder why I keep saying Lord is going to blessing me from in marriage to now 4 years in divorce and yet nothing is seen yet. It is because Lord wants me to walk through the darkness and show those trusting darkness that there is no solution in darkness.

Their realm is about you get their service and they ask for your soul in payment. Only Lord and Him alone is the Restorer and the Redeemer as Whatsoever we lack, He has redeemed the lack through His Finished Work that only through Him, His Favour and Anointing, that one is lifted high up, not for us, but for Him and Him alone. Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!

Am I willing to go through all these? No, I have no capacity to go through them, let alone meet all the spiritual darkness. It is through His Grace and Favour that gives me the Strength to face them head on and show them this won't work. They have to try their max and exhaust all their means.

This is what Lord is leading me through. I thank Lord for using me for such purpose and capacity!!! Without Him training and rising me Strength by Strength, I won't be able to face them but all these 7 years of training is to let me meet them in the fullness and still survive to show them Jesus is the only answer!!!

This year of Greater Glory Lord is showing me that His Promise to me still stands and I shall be delivered out of it after all the demonstration of His Grace is over. Hallelujah!!! Amen Amen!!!

Surely, when His Light is raisen, all shall be seen and I praise Jesus that His Return is sure and on Track!!! Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!

I Thank GOD Almighty!

Young time, when I was just a little girl, I used to wonder why my grandfather, great grandfather died so young that my mum didn't even have the chance of meeting my grandfather.

When my dad had his brain tumor, I did not have much revelation on it neither!

It was when my mum gone through her breaking down and eventual died, and now the attack is on me for the same purpose, I finally realise everything even from generations that has gone.

Can you imagine that they could not bring me down and I was in the MRT with two new guys that were asked to do their job. How I know? A inner knowing, I guess!!!

And no need to guess as the attack has risen another level!!! Lord just let me go through them to know what they could do and how they used spiritual attack to get to where they were and how they want it to be.

I thank Lord is with me. After so many generations of my family tree were cursed with short life, Lord leads me to go through them to understand them clearly.

The fact that He purposely rise me up for His Glory, is His Restoration to my family for all that we had been suffering for many generations.

The answer is easy, it's because we have the blood of Jews running in us and devil is not happy.

I thank Lord that even though many of my generation was blur blur being cursed, He, by His Grace, said enough is enough. Did we pray for Him to help? We didn't even know Him. He came to knock my door and lead me and Su to Him. Then through our combined prayer, mum and dad went to Him.

Surely, He is restoring my family tree!!! All the years of suffering of the Israeli as slave in Egypt, just by their cry, Lord remembered His Promise to Abraham and set Moses up to redeem them.

Glory Glory that through my family tree, Lord is doing it again. Hallelujah!!! Amen Amen!!!

It is His Mercy that He removed His Hand of protection to let me go through and understand all that trap that was set. Without, I would be just an ignorance adult. Lord open little by little to build me up in Him. Without training, the spiritual arm could not be strong. This is part of His Training and His Toughening me up.

I am glad that mum and dad is in a better place. What can be seen is temporal and what cannot be seen is eternal!!!

Man leave to themselves could only do evil to push themselves up the sleeves! But when the Almighty Hand of the Lord come to push, Greater Grace and Glory is His Plan. My Part is just to trust to Him and let Him do His Job. It is not me but Him.

By Trusting Him, there will never be lack in my life!!! I noticed as Adam sinned, the ground is cursed and money that come from the ground is cursed too. When we tithed to Lord, He made it Holy for us that all the holes are sealed with His Blood that nothing is wasted!!!

It's through my mum that I understands everything better. All my young time question is finally answered. No wonder Lord is always with me when I was young!!! He leads me always and is my Immanuel!

His Eyes look at the earth and He sees things clearly. Devil tried to hide in the snake but Lord knows his plan and will never let him succeed. Finally situation is turning around by the Grace of Jesus!!!

On my part, I just rest in His Shalom Peace and let Him bring everything through. I have faith in Him that by the Stripes of Jesus and by His Precious Blood and His Nailed Pierced Hands and Legs, my health and wholes laid in His Hand!!! Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!

My Time is Up!

Due to mum death, ex agreed to give me another 2 weeks to stay in this house. Hallelujah!!! He said provided I allowed him to do the necessary installation and I agreed to it.

Praise the Lord, the fridge was changed when I was at mum's funeral and this week, the whole aircon system was redo. But sad to say, the quality of the new air con unit was not as good as what it used to be 10 years ago. It was when I wanted to change the coolness direction that I found the piece that control it was made is such a lousy quality. To pay so much for it, it just pure lousy.

Today is Vision Sunday 2014, church started with a new bang for Lord goodness in this year. This is the Year of Greater Glory for NCC, I guess Jesus coming is soon. Hallelujah!!! Amen Amen!!!

Ex had sounded me that latest I have to start shifting is this Friday.

Ex is being friendly....partly maybe he is finally coming back to this house and finally, I am shifting out. He has been making me down and out that whatever I commented on his facebook he would delete it off and put me down in the heart of Jc and treated me as a maid in his heart.

I thank Lord that today, I learn cursed means taking lightly a person and his words. In refer to such, he really cursing me but at the same time, curious about what the Lord is doing in my life.

Lord is keen to restore this marriage, but I myself really not sure that I want him back. I have seen so much undesirable traits of him that be with him again just sound yucky for me. Even though he has keep his words to let me stay here all these years for our girl sake.

I needed lots of God Grace to accept him again. I prefer to start a new life with someone else but it seem like Lord is keen in restoration!!! Even though it's good for Jc sake, I am not so sure I want it!!!

My bad life is coming to an end and my good life is starting. How it will turn out will see how Lord's plan come into place. I have walked 7 years since 2007 when the bible study was down, it was then I get on the bible and never leave it! It has become part of me! Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!

The Year of Greater Glory!!! I trust Jesus will lifted me up. I saw a bright Cross on the smoky atmosphere in church and I saw the bluish throne of God clearly. I also saw a Golden path being set up to come to me. I also saw Lord burnt my right palm with mana and my left palm with His Sword. Surely this Open Door and Greater Glory is finally moving into place. I pray in the Name of Jesus!!! Amen Amen!!!