My Thoughts

Since my dad’s death, Lord Jesus has not been calling me for any healing job. When I check with Him, He always said that He is giving me rest.

Last Friday, WK’s uncle had breathing difficulties and was hospitalized. I thought of going to pray for him, but Lord did not give me the desire to go. I asked Su to check with Him, He told me not to worry.

Today, I checked with Lord why I need the rest. Lord told me that my father’s death affected me more than I noticed. Then I realised I have lost my trust in the Lord on His willingness to heal.

This is what happened to me, as I thought about my dad’s death, I wondered if he did not accept Christ, would it be a better choice for Lord to heal him and show him His glory. I wonder if leading dad to accept Christ was a mistake. In a way, I am regretting over not able to heal dad.

Last night, Lord came to anoint my hands. I could feel Him shifting something around my wrists area. After that, He gave me the impression to call WK’s cousin, to share with her about getting her dad to worship Lord for his healing. Her dad, WK’s uncle, his lungs still has the cancer cells. Lately he is suffering some infection on the lungs. When I called WK to inform her to remind her cousin, WK remarked that I still care for her uncle.

This remark had taken me aback. I guess, she might be thinking that my refusal to pray for her uncle showed that I didn’t care. Well, I am just obeying Lord.

Anyway, I was surprised that her uncle’s cancer cells are still around, just like my dad’s brain tumor, instead of healed, it got worst, bleeding tumor.

Today, Lord let me know that in each healing prayer, the faith of the one praying and the faith of the one receiving the prayer, affects the healing result. Lord let me to recall Curry Blake shared about the faith needed in healing. It was then I realised I had doubted Lord in His willingness to heal.

Lord revealed to me that for each time I prayed for my dad, he did not look onto Lord Jesus for the healing. As such, the prayer for healing did not manifest in him. Lord shared that it was this reason that He wanted dad to sing worship song to raise his faith in the Lord. Then I recalled that Lord ever told me that in a congregation, worship songs are necessary to bring believers of different faith level up their faith in the Lord so that they could receive their healing/blessing.

Lord shared that He is asking WK’s uncle to sing worship songs for the same reason. WK’s uncle accepted Christ when he was a young boy. He had rarely been to church all these years; as such he has no knowledge of Lord Jesus’ Grace and Truth. In order to heal him, he need to rise his faith to look onto Lord Jesus as Lord’s blessing only come through when one is in love, joy and peace in the Holy Spirit. I know that when my faith is rise through worshiping Lord, adversary could not disturb, as such receiving blessing is easy.

Today I repent and trusted that Lord Jesus surely willing to heal anyone that turn to Him and trusted Him for deliverance. Praise the Lord for leading me back. Lord is so good to let me go through the process. When I started querying Him, then He revealed to me what I have lacked to do His job.

I will trust in the Lord that He will surely and willingly heal those who turn to Him. Daddy God, thank You for helping me to trust You again. Thank You for letting me realise that I had drift off without noticing it. Praise Your Almighty Name, Lord Jesus! Amen!