I was watching ‘Jewish Voice' hosted by Jonathan Bernis. He said that to come close to Lord and to be used by Him, one would lose everything. If months ago I watch that, I won’t believe a word of what he said. But Jesus said that you who lost everything found everything and you who keep everything will not have anything. So, what he said is according to the scripture. Glory Glory!
In these 4 years walk with Jesus; the closer Lord led me to walk with Him, the more trials it comes. I thought I am getting lesser, but there are strong forces that come against me from rising up; such that I never see in my life. I never know that I have to dig deeper into the Grace of Jesus to trust Him for deliverance. Each level of trust in this deliverance is a greater knowledge of Him is the Greatest in All in All. Glory Glory!
I thought that ex being led like a bull into different pits of darkness was hard enough to stomach, but by the Grace of Jesus I could remain in His Shalom Peace. But ex is someone that my feeling had gone pretty low. So, the degree of pain is still ok, I am still me, wholesome and good.
This year for my girl, Jc, is on a downhill slide. From the great fear from afraid daddy being led away by other lady to now, fearful of each teachers shouting and scolding in class, her emotional turmoil is on high. This was translated to do not want to go to school, totally immobilized.
It became I had to dress her up like a doll, to see her cry so desperately shouting for mummy at the gate of her school. Form teacher at her wit end, Chinese teacher at her wit end, school counsellor at his wit end, even security officers also at their wit end. Mummy is also at my wit end. There is nothing I could move her. I need a crane!!!
What could I do? Nothing, except cry out to Abba Father…. Knowing He loves me and loves my girl. Jesus had done the Finished Work at the Cross! There is nothing else I could do except cried out to Daddy God. I told Him I don’t know what to do! I don’t know how to be a parent. I asked Him to be the Greater Parent to her. Glory Glory! I am tired of all her outbreak of cry at the school gate, as if she is being led to slaughter. It’s no joke! But My Daddy is good! Glory Glory! Amen Amen!
Last night, she cried of private part pain, I thought is UTI and kept praying against it and even let her take Holy Communion and even sprayed anointed water into her mouth, body and the private area. Satan came to disturb her that she was in great pain till 11pm then finally fallen asleep. At 1am she woke up and on 3am she woke up again. This morning at 7am she could not wake up. Even when she finally up, she was in pain and didn’t want to go school.
I cried to Lord, I called ex to take over, he rejected. But on crying out to Lord, ex called to talk to me about her and advise me to apply nappy rash on her after I told him where the pain came from. He called again to talk to Jc.
After talking to Jc, she was agreeable to go school. I even tell her that if she going to cry out loud, it’s better for her to stay home. I don’t want to face it anymore. I am at my wit end. But, when I am at my end, Lord rise up high. He gave her Grace and now she is in school, about an hour later and missed almost 2 periods of lesson. Glory Glory!
Is there price to pay? Yes, it is scripture, Job went through losing all, but when he looked to Lord, he was blessed double back. Yesterday Pastor Lian preached a good sermon. God wants to restore whatever the locust had stolen. She said if 1 goat is stolen, 5 goats Lord will restore. If 1 sheep is lost, 4 sheep will be restored.
I am looking to my restoration. I know Abba Father is a Great God; whenever He blesses, it is always abundantly. I am looking to this great harvest where the former rain meets the latter rain. Glory Glory! Amen Amen! Lord let Pastor Lian preached this sermon so that I could grab on to Lord’s promise and not be shaken in despair. Glory Glory! Amen Amen!
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