The Life of Christ

Recently, through Lord's leading, I realised that I must give up my focus in love. To me, life is about love, without love, nothing matters. This is why through the Grace of Jesus, I do not focus on power and status. But love, it's an area I hold on tightly.

I am a middle child among the 5 of us. Young time, I felt that my 2 elder sisters took care of my younger sister and brother. Me in the middle, nobody cares. This great desired to be love was satisfied by hubby when he came into my life 10 yrs ago. Just past my wedding anniversary. About 3 years ago, when I came to know Abba father, I desired so strongly to know his love too. I was seeking and seeking and one day, by the Grace of Lord Jesus, Abba father opened his heaven to show me that mighty power of Love. That morning, as I laze in bed upon woke up, I was meditating on his love and WOW, that was so wonderful! that even now, I still wanting to hold on to that love.

Thank you Abba father for stabling me in His love. He leads me to cast my focus of love to Lord Jesus' nail pierced hand. Then Lord revealed all about hubby to me. Through this meditation, whatever Lord told me, I did go and questioned hubby. As there are no physical proof, it's hard to argue with him. He always said that it's all imagination from my head!

He has all his documents locked up. Lord led him to did not lock the drawer once, but I did nothing. Recently, Lord led me to check on all his visa statements. From there, I gather whatever Lord told me is the truth! Praise the Lord!

When things are not proven, it's harder to believe it's real. The reality hit me hard, very hard indeed. All these months of trusting in hubby and what he had done, I could not forgive him, nor could I forgive myself for believing in him so much. By the Grace of Lord Jesus, Lord told me to look at him as the Righteousness of God in Christ and all his sins were washed by the blood of Jesus.

For others, I had no problem seeing so, but for my husband, involving my trust in him and his doing become reality, I had a hard time seeing pass his sins to Lord's Righteousness....more of I could not believe I believe so much in him.

Last night, Lord led me into a long talk with him. Even into revealing how a wife miss out in serving the husband as Lord is. This talk let me understand how the professionals could capture men heart to return to them again and again. It's about service, about attentiveness, about willingness. This become an enriching learning experience for me instead of condemning him.

This morning service, Pastor Mark preached about the society lots of influence on sex, bombarding in daily life. If love not shown at home, kids goes elsewhere to find love. It leads me to think of hubby and how much I had neglected him. With that, I forgiven myself and Lord told me to tell him that I had forgiven him of all that he had done. I gave him a tight hug and told him that I forgive him and he is still my beloved husband. Praise the Lord!

Do I still feel bitter? No, I am now flowing in the peace of Lord! Glory to Lord Jesus in leading me in this marriage turmoil. He is the Redeemer for my marriage and for my relationship with hubby. Glory to Lord Jesus! Forever and ever! Amen and Amen!