Blessed Hope

My original plan to have reunion dinner with a member here is cancelled due to cost of dinner is to high for this member.

However, Lord opens door that my close friend's mum invites me over to eat with them. Glory Glory!!!

My friend still have sucidal thoughts especially when she looks out of her window at home but she no longer entertain the thoughts. Glory Glory!!!

The increase in medicines is stabilizing her.

For my siblings, I will only be seeing them in the CNY weekend to gather for food and red packets for the children.

For me, I am looking forward to Lord's blessing and for Him to bless me with a man whose heart is with the Lord.

I want to have him with me, serving the Lord in future as what most western pastors have. Their spouses are always with them in their oversea trips.

As a woman, I love to have him by my side to support me in my calling of the Lord.

Money won't be an issue if I am highly blessed and he too will be highly blessed.

As this calling is going to last a life time so it is not important for him to move into this supportive role immediately as I will be under training to rise up to handle issues of the Lord.

At least, I have to go hospital visiting as a first hand training.

And Lord previously revealed that I will station in house for 3 years before move around the world as His Calling.

I will abide with His Calling and do His Work as an empty vessel for His Use.

As the Chinese New Year is approaching, I wish you readers of my blog a Happy and Prosperous Year ahead of you. Amen Amen!!!

Suicidal

Through talking with my friend's mum, then I realized she did not swallow 20 mental pills but sleeping pills!!!

She had gone through a few rounds of killing herself. What I know is she jumped down a flat at 2nd level and her foot has bone protruding out.

She actually contemplating jumping down from her kitchen window but Lord showed her vision of her mum would be very heart broken that she did not do. 

She was traumatized by the violent act of 1 patient in IMH Acu Ward and saw another patient with cut marks on both her wrists.

She told me she is not that stupid to take pills and get admitted again. 

She said I don't understand what she had gone through since young. 

I taught her to cast her problems to the Lord and to receive His Shalom Peace. 

During her stay in IMH, Lord showed her another vision of His Big Arms carrying her like a baby being cuddled. 

Lord revealed if she doesn't trust Him for Delivance, her next attempt will be successful. Lord is using her and don't want her to die. Her mum is 71 years old might not be able to take it.

I didn't know her conditions till she revealed she is overwhelmingly hopeless. 

But in the mid of all these, she is still seeking prayer, which is a good sight she has not lost all hope. She asked the Paster here to pray for her.

After yesterday dialogue with her, I was troubled and I prayed a few prayers for her and hope she will get out of her depression!

No wonder Lord send her to be my friend. I thank Lord for this opening. 

I have a feeling that she will be helping me in my healing ministry as she is very devoted helper in the fellowship here. She used to play the piano for them.

Amen Amen!!!

Lonely Life

This Chinese New Year is the most Lonely moment for me. None of my siblings willing to invite me to join them for the reunion.

Eldest and Su will be going to their in laws home while 2nd said her food is going to be what offered to idols and not going to invite me and brother said he has other plan.

2nd even blame me for getting myself into this situation.

They value their own family much and refer my divorce as a situation I got by my choice to void of family. But I am also being led to this divorce not by choice.

How worse can life be?

However, thank God there are some celebrations at the centre that cusion the loneliness.

I am also not the only one with no home to go.

Thank God that I have Abba with me and the worse moment is going to turn to the best moments months later. I just need to be patient.

My siblings have give up hope that I will be bless but I have not. I know God cannot lie and His Word last forever. When in hopeless situation, there is a door of hope in the valley and bible hope is the expectation of good!!!

As this year is Possessing our Possessions so I believe my Harvest in the Milk and Honey land has come. And I am waiting for my youth to be renew so that I could have a new lease of life.

In the worse moment of Father Abraham life, Lord Jesus provided Himself as the Lamb of God to be Sacrificed. So that Issac need not die as an offering.

In Father Abraham worse moment of wife, Sarah, being taken by kings, Lord not only rescued her but gave Father Abraham riches.

He is a Faithful God and In my lack of a home to house me and my property and a lack of family, Lord will surely restore me 120%. I claim it in JESUS Name. Amen Amen!!!

PS 23/01/2016:
I have managed to find another member here that has no where to go for reunion. I will eat with her that day!

Also, as usual, there will be a gathering for the 5 of us during 1st week of the CNY!

Life n Sex

Life now is in constant. Beside the regular disturbing, nothing much except a colleague that I am closed to.

She is in her early 40s but mentally think like a child. She is single and previously I have to deal with her depression and sucidal thought.

Through her, she undressed in front of her doctor before. I did not encounter till this week she did it in the toilet for her counsellor to see and I happened to go to the toilet and saw her in her nakedness.

Today I asked her is her menstruation is coming and she confirmed it.

I told her it's woman sexual desire rising for mating purpose. I told her to masterbate to release the rise in desire so that the urge to be naked would go away.

Her mum being traditional prevented her from masterbating. And she can't let go the desire that is rising the more she tried to control.

I ever heard single woman behave weirdly but personally never encounter one till this lady.

I hope my recommendation works on her. Otherwise, she will be like those men that flash themselves and if caugh will get punishment.

Asian tradition about sex is always hush hush about it that those not exposed do not know how to handle it. Her mum consider masterbation is dirty and so doesn't allowed her daughter to release the tension and thus made matter worse.

She thought her daughter is breaking down mentally and need to see a doctor for relapse!!!

I had been through control and know it won't go away by suppressing it.

That's why for my next-to-be, if he has a need, what he need to do is just to pull me out of what I am doing to attend to his needs; as man and woman are different.

Woman just release egg once per month but man, thousands of sperms daily.

If only woman knows the need of man and man knows how to service woman, I think the divorce rate will drop some what. As sex is a main concern in man's life.

Amen Amen!!!

Possessing Your Possession

Today's Pastor Joseph Prince announced the theme of the year for my church, NCC, is as above title.

It is as what Lord reveal to me. He even explained how the process of how the new man and me will eventually come together. He also described the inbetween scenario that lead to a together from the initial putting his palm on his forehead in a 'oh my God' expression.

Now I know why ex never stir me up in those moments of husband and wife come together.

Lord led me to recall my first trip abroad to Turkey. One of the highlights of that trip was a Turkish massage. The lady that massaged me gave me a good rub all over the body that by the end of it, I felt so good and relax that immediately after dinner, I was sleepy!!!

As there is no love in ex for me, the matter was made worst as I could not sense his love and thus the come together was just work.

Lord said I will feel differently from the one who loves me.

Basically, talking here is easy then face to face talk. I am shy by nature of self.

I will see how the year will turn out for me. If really it's true that he is waiting. As everything is quiet. No more tracing nor checking nor anything anymore!

So I am not sure if everything is just a joke or really there is something.

Anyway, Lord only said I have two choices in the end, either ex or the new man. So I stand in faith that there is 2. Otherwise, when ex change his mind about me getting blessed and renew in youth, he maybe interested.

I leave it to these 2 men as those come after, they just looking at my blessedness and I am not keen in them.

Let see how the year turn out as October is still a long way to walk!!!

Blessed 2016 Everyone

Finally 2015 is gone and 2016 is here! As the months pass, it will get better and better!!! Lord is surely coming back to restore the health and wholeness of His Brides!!!

Personally, as I meditate, Lord is disclosing my new man to me. He will renew my youth and when he is with me, his youth will be renew too!!!

This is the year for the start of the renewal of youth like the eagle. Each one of us, Christian, will drop off our earthly nature and come in line with the Heavenly nature. This is the year of New Beginings!!!!!

People will be able to tell apart who is in Christ who is not!!! Especially for those advanced in age; the difference will be great and they will be a good testimony for the Lord!!!

It's an exciting year for those in Christ.

In the world, things are getting darker as news of Issi approaching Israel is getting more and more realistic.

In the west, the 2 big Jews population in France and in USA will get targeted and the Jews will migrate back to Israel. We are already seeing the jumping up in the number of family who do so from France and Ukraine as reported in the Jerusalem Post.

Surely, the pressure cooker of removing them is getting stronger and the need of the Lord will get stronger.

It's a time of Saul haunting the Christian and then he encountering JESUS and becoming Paul, the radical Grace preacher will happen. And massive salvation of children of the darkness will happen in abundance.

Surely all these End Time movement will come to pass.

Blessed 2016 to all my readers! May you renew in youth like the Eagles and you prosper in your health and may your soul prosper in the Lord. Amen Amen!!!