The Unlikely Person that God Use

I just read about the above that I felt prompted to share about mine. Before coming to Christ, in primary school I was left alone when the rest of my classmates played in the field at recess. As I grew, in Secondary School, I was still the lone person. In Junior College, I only had 1 friend. In Polytechnics, I had only 1 friend too. Went to work, I didn't have any close friend. Even when become mum, the m4m mums gathering I went for, I was still a loner. Seem nothing for me to share with people.

I was born without the skill of small talk. I don't know how to have small talks. What girls like to talk about shopping, great buys, fashions etc, all not my cup of tea, as such, nothing to talk about. I was left alone by most. People would go for others and when they felt used, then they come back to me. I was the last person that a friend would like to have, nothing great about me.

That is why upon receiving Christ and learn that how Good and Perfect Jesus is, one morning, when I was awoke, but still in bed, I talked to Abba Father. I told Him that I had this lousy personality that nobody likes, I told Him to clear all my characters, personality and anything about me and give me Jesus characters and personality. Thinking of how good Jesus is, I prayed that let my next kid have His Personality and Character too! That's how much I don't want the present me.

Lord heard me. He let me know I will be laying hand and praying for others, He also disclosed that I will be street evangelist, all kinds of people will approach me to be encouraged. With this, I grabbed hold of that verse, I am to look to His Kingdom and His Righteousness, all things I want will be given to me.

As I joy in the Lord, He leads me and changes me. He let me realise I am just a breath.Then He leads me to see nothingness to self. That is why I am trusting the Lord much as there is nothing of self that is worthy. As I fellowship with Lord, He came out of me more and more, till now He could move in and out of me fully.

In the bible, Jesus said that to do His Work, we have to lost ourselves. The more we see nothing of self, He could come fully. Those who cannot let go of self or think highly of self, Lord cannot come through of them. Lord let me see that by self, my voice is weak but trusting in Him took over, I become a good worshiper.

Through this daily worshiping, Lord tested me at time of His Presence not around. I always run to Him when I realised I was alone. He tested many times, to make sure I know by myself, I am weak but with Him coming through, I am strong. This is so that in future, when we walk out, I could let go of myself fully to let Jesus make full use of me. Glory Glory! Amen Amen!

PS:
If you wonder why I am such a loner? Well,Abba Father is going to put me so high up that He told me long ago that my only friends are Su and my husband. These are the only 2 that I could share my secrets, not anyone else. So in future, if any of you tries to get close of me and you see me lukewarm, don't get frustrated!

I am just following order, even though I like to talk and make friends, Lord had showed me all come because of status or power association. Not true friendship!!! Whoever I see as exception, Lord always let me see their truth self that I am convinced by Him. Glory Glory! Amen Amen!

In fact, I am born with this inborn unable to get close to any friends. If someone come too nice/close to me, I would feel uncomfortable and move away. Guess Lord tailored me for His Job long ago! Glory Glory! Amen Amen!