Perfect Prayer

I have just listened to 26/02/2006 – 'Pray Perfect Prayer...' that Lord asked me to write this post. Glory Glory.

When I was a young Christian, I caught hold of this verse, Matthew 6:32-33 '...your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.' I have this verse as the backbone of my life. Glory to Lord Jesus!

Somehow, Lord let me believe that as long I keep my eyes on Jesus and keep learning about Jesus as He revealed through Pastor Prince, all that I need in this world will be given by Him and that is what I have been doing the past 3 years. First started with listening lots of sermons per day. It seem like the more I listen, the greater the appetite I have. I could listen from morning to evening. Praise the Lord!

I was so full with the words that Lord sent different people to me for me to share about Jesus where ever I go. Even in driving center, there was a lady that came to learn about Jesus from me too. Through this keep looking and learning about Jesus, all that I need, Lord takes care! It starts with the lump on my neck to now my divorce and my future life. Glory to Lord Jesus!

I need not worry at all, as I daily walk with Him, Lord automatically come to comfort me when I was sad. When I was threatened by P, Lord would come to tell me that 'don't worry, he will provide.' Even in this marriage. For 10 years, I though P was a good man, my life was pretty free. I could soak myself with the words of Jesus all day long without much complaint from P. I gave him much freedom that I thought he knows how to take care of himself. It was in my greatest trust in the Lord that surely Lord can deliver P from the last 3 years of coming against Christianity that Lord told me to go divorce him.

If your heart is still loving this man and trusting much in the Lord, would you obey Lord and go divorce him? That was what I did. Lord had to cool me off from the strong love by telling me that P will turn back after 1 year. Then when I move closer to Lord, He told me that I could choose P or the new guy he is bringing into my life. At first, I believe the new man is the renewed P. But when I trust in the Lord that He is bringing me a brand new guy, then He revealed more about the guy to me, to tempt me to move towards His promise land and not look to the old man.

Then Lord showed me about all the lacks in this marriage to let me cool off from wanting P. Through each revelation, I have a better understanding about P that last night, I have a shock of my life. It wasn't really a shock, but more of a betrayal. Lord had revealed that P is good in handling women. I did not link it back to me. P will say things that brings trust in him. Before marriage, I had questioned him something and he had given me a good answer. I always remember it as a good opinion of him. Last night, I asked P if he had ever say such to me, he replied that he had never say such!

At that point, it become clear that he had lied to me too. Lord revealed about the story of his ex that at that time of knowing him, I was wondering why he was still concerning of that girl, who had betrayed him. But Lord said it's his guilt, everything and every actions falls into place with the revelation.

The more I know about P, the more I thank Lord for leading me out of this marriage. In the great emotional clinging to P, how would I know he is not the good man I know? He hides it well, and I am not one who seeks and he really secure his moments and his money well. No one could touch them except himself. He will leaks a little info of his movement to the one he wants to attract, to let them feel secure. The more I know about him, the more he become someone, whom I will never want to marry to. How as a mere human am I to know? We could only pray perfect prayer if we know of the situation. Without the knowledge, how to pray?

With this constantly looking to Jesus and has a good opinion of Jesus and Abba father, step by step, Lord leads me out of the nastiness to bless me a good life. As Lord told me in my last night meditation,: 'It is not worth for you such a pure girl to stay with one who play the field.' How would I know P is such when he is good in his covering?

It is in this constant looking to Jesus and learning more about him, the more I walk closely with Lord, He who knows all things leads me to the heaven on earth living that He promise in the bible to us, His kids. Many a time, it's Lord leading in what to pray too. He knows what he wants to bless and lead me to pray it after his revelation.

You can pray for all that you want, but looking to Jesus and let Abba looks after me is even better. I just have to continue believing and learning about Jesus. His blessings flows in abundance. Amen Amen! Glory Glory!