Nothingness

Last night, as I went checking a few other blogs, I saw the name, Jacelyn Tay, in rootss blog and decided to read her story and come across this nothingness a monk told her. It let me realise that devil knows God so well that every step of the child of God's walk, he pervert it into a religion that is so difficult to attain....into the unknown. Man being wanting to find some worthiness of one self, is easy to lead them astray. Hiaz...

In my early days as Christian, I was fresh from receiving my king's food and was thinking about all glory to be given to Jesus and nothing for myself. I was strong in self then and had wondered...if all glory goes to Jesus, then there is nothing left for me! Self like to show worthiness in the presence of others. As this pondering goes into the late afternoon, Lord revealed that my glory will be store in heaven, not on earth. I go Oh! OK!!! store in heaven and not lost is better than store in here and be gone. So I told Lord, 'Ok, you can have the glory here. Mine is stored in heaven. Hehe...

Then I heard another time fresh from another king's food that whatever I do, Jesus wants to do for me. I had forgotten how I receive this about Lord wants to be me. But I was wondering....if Lord be me, where should I go then? Hehe...then I told Lord, 'Ok, I let you be me!' This was a scary trust then..for I didn't know where will I go, will I disappear into nowhere? But as I let Lord be me, I become a stronger me. Praise the Lord!!!! I rejoice!!!

Lord said wanted to anoint me to be a healer. I just bochap, don't care. You are the one doing the job, not me, I reasoned. So no matter how many times Lord came to anoint me, I just let him anoint me and concentrate on his words instead. At first I thought that I will have a power coming out of my hands to heal the sick. So each anointing, I am waiting for the power to get stronger. Hehe

Somehow, I expect that if the healing power is with me, I should be like Jesus in the bible, whoever he prayed get healed. As long as I have yet to reach there, I have not had the fullness of the power yet. Instead of sitting around doing nothing, I continued feeding my spirit man. In fact, since then till now, I am still doing the same feeding the spirit. I am at this resting position, but Lord in me become a mighty man with all these feeding.

You might wonder Lord is all almighty, he need no feeding, he knows all that, after all, He is Jesus, himself that is in me. But, what I learn is our mind have to keep on renewing. What you know, the spirit can come inline with you. What you don't know, Lord cannot come through you in that area.

As My Spirit Man grow stronger and stronger, or as I feed more and more words of Christ, He could come fully out with me. Lord don't wait till fully out to tell me He is 3 in 1 with me. He told me countless times to encourage me to continue feeding. Nowadays, he is so full in me that when I am speaking, could be he speaking, I typing, could be He typing. I could recognise that it was him especially when he revealed to others things that I don't know or I could feel His Presence.

After much munching on the book of Psalms and Proverbs, Lord revealed that I am nothingness. All the strong me is HIM! He even let me encounter the feeling of he totally gone to see my weak self. With this revelation of nothingness, Lord brings me to realise I am just a breath. The whole being of me is Him. I am just a breath. This is the NoThingNess that Lord wants His child of God to be. When you reach there, you are Christ and Christ is you. This is all that Christian wants to move to, to be like Christ. It's not by your effort, but by the grace and mercy of Lord Jesus, Lord fully manifested in you!

It is not when you are strong that Lord reveal about himself. As more you know about him through all those preaching by Lord in Joseph Prince, that you could see the mightiness of Him. In His presence, you will then realise there really is nothing in you to talk about. As you continue to look to him, nothing of you but all of Him, Lord could then come out of you to do his work. Praise the Lord! You are nothingness, yet you are so powerful in the eyes of man. But it is not you who is powerful but Lord in you.

When you realise this, you will not idolise any of the pastors. You will know it's Lord in them that is doing the powerful preaching and healing. Glory Glory! Amen Amen!