Do You Love Me?

In this walk with Lord Jesus, it is all about Lord Jesus and nothing about us. I used to talk to Lord through worship songs, through reading bible and now through meditation.

Recently, Lord test me so much that I became so frustrated that I told Lord don't test me any longer, I trust Him to bless my family health and successful career. Even though Lord said He was shocked to hear that from me and Su, He still continued to test my emotion that last night, I questioned what kind of God He is to play with my emotion. He apologised for going overboard. But today, He tested me some more this morning...till I want to run away from Him and stop my meditation.

I was asking myself, where could I run?!!! The earth is big, but spiritually there are only 2, either stay close to God or under the mercy of darkness. I was despair, I wondered where could I hide. Then Lord told me in Jesus. I cool off a bit and decided not to run away from Lord and let Him test me some more. Before I started meditation, Lord told me that I have not answered if I want to run away from Him. I was almost stumble over His demand for an answer. Then some ding dong with the Lord, then I realised that I need to let Him know how much I trusted Him. This was what He told me through last night meditation on Psalm 63:2

Lord: 'Father want to clear with you: The Human I create, I did give them freedom to think and decide. I do not control their thoughts nor their action. As such, I won't know your thought and your action if you did not pre-think about it. The moment you think, then I know your thought.

As for the heart, I do not know what you believe. I only know what bible verses you store in your heart. Believe is a choice of action. So as long as you do not display any sign of preference, I won't know too. As such, I could only know from testing your re-action.'

This make me realised that Lord need to know my personal level if I trust Him is just like a lady wanting her husband to tell her if he love her. For a man, knowing in the heart is good enough. I thought I know myself is good enough. But Lord disclosed that He don't know me at personal level. Even though my sharing with others, He called it preaching to others. He said must directly tell Him then He knows.

I was still not happy. I told sis, His verse said that I just need to look to Jesus and His Righteousness and He will take care of all I need and wear, it did not say I must say it out!!!

Then Lord get me to meditate again on Psalm 64:10

Lord: 'Father heard you. I did not know you trust this verse so much! You might have tell others to trust me, but I need to know how you feel personally. As such, thanking Me with the verses is important. This is one way of letting me know your heart. Now that you know, I am happy. Now we both understand each other better!

Father God is now happy that all things between you and me are thrash out. I finally can feel peace in you.'

Phew! Through these 2 days of thrashing out with Lord, finally, I understand how He knows how close we are to him. Man, have you tell your wife that you love her? :D

Daddy God, thank You for letting me realise that I need to let you know how I feel for you. Glory to Lord Jesus! Amen & Amen!