NLT version of Rom 12:2 said, "Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God's will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect."
As a new believer in 2006, I was so absorbed by the good news of the Gospel in New Creation Church, Singapore, that I was like a sponge swallowed the news all and held tight to it. I was so strong in the words that I was flowing in joy then. I don't know when it started, but in the mid of receive revelation by revelation, Lord came to teach me. To correct me of wrong believes and to let me renewed my believes about Him.
It was much later, after I won my war on the darkness disturb that about 1-2 months later, Lord revealed His new post for me. A 20+years Christian was ministering to me. She could see vision and while chatting with me in msn, Lord gave her a vision of me laying hand on the sick. The house that Lord wanted to bless me was revealed then too.
I received the acknowledgement and continued my swallowing of the Gospel, the Goodness of Jesus. As I was pretty full after that, Lord through a old care group member, show him vision of me evangelising. This has come to past as wherever I went, even at driving centre waiting for my lesson, Lord also sent me people to minister, even when I went to Israel, Lord led me to minister to fellow tour members. All these I viewed it as Lord came through me to do the job. I did not claim any credit. All the Glory I passed to the Lord. Praise Jesus! I was in the mid of bible reading and into meditation by then.
As I remained faithful to Him, continued to listen to His Words from various pastors but mainly Pastor Prince, Lord led me deeper and deeper to be with Him. I have never doubt about He has came through me fully and I never questioned that if I or He is the one talking. I assume He is, for the one who get ministered flow in joy.
As a young Christian, I was eager to share the news and eager to pray for strangers. But as I walked closer and closer to Lord, I rest in His Peace and only as and when His Anointing came through, I will be ministering to people. Glory Glory!
When trials began, Lord started with testing how I stand in faith in Him. He also test about my obedience; if I am willing to do what He said, it's another training on humiliation, to let go of self. In the mids of this, He also trained me to let go of looking to His blessing, but to concentrate on Him alone.
Then it's test of letting go of things dearest, first is money aka my saving, then letting go of ex, then let me grow strong in trusting Him to fight devil. Then the different types of devil, Tb Joshua was also a form of learning for me. And finally tested me on what I care most, my girl. All these is purely for 1 goal, to see if I continue to look to Him for deliverance. That is why knowing how Good He is in the begining is important. Without a good opinion of Him, there is no way to win any battle. Glory Glory!
With the conclusion of my girl's test, Lord said I completed His test. Actually Lord told me plenty of times about completion of His test. It's mainly to lead me on in trusting Him and not to be in despair nor doubt.
It was through the years of walking with Him that I could conclude that He is faithful. For, without anybody to verify what I went through, I could only look at His deliverance and believe He is faithful. That is why it is important to walk through the paths with Lord. Without all these training, in times of doubt, where things are unclear, what am I going to believe? It was His forever Faithful that I could in times of blurness that I still look to His Goodness. All these could only come from spending time with Him. Glory Glory!
I won't know when is the exact date of His Arrival, I could only rest in Him and let Him bring it all to past. As you know, from the happenings around the world, time is short, so surely Jesus Arrival is soon, soon, and soon! And how I know Jesus is coming through me fully? It's through walking closely with Him that Lord reveals His Secret to me! Glory Glory! Amen Amen!
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Monday, July 25, 2011
The Price of being used by Lord
I was watching ‘Jewish Voice' hosted by Jonathan Bernis. He said that to come close to Lord and to be used by Him, one would lose everything. If months ago I watch that, I won’t believe a word of what he said. But Jesus said that you who lost everything found everything and you who keep everything will not have anything. So, what he said is according to the scripture. Glory Glory!
In these 4 years walk with Jesus; the closer Lord led me to walk with Him, the more trials it comes. I thought I am getting lesser, but there are strong forces that come against me from rising up; such that I never see in my life. I never know that I have to dig deeper into the Grace of Jesus to trust Him for deliverance. Each level of trust in this deliverance is a greater knowledge of Him is the Greatest in All in All. Glory Glory!
I thought that ex being led like a bull into different pits of darkness was hard enough to stomach, but by the Grace of Jesus I could remain in His Shalom Peace. But ex is someone that my feeling had gone pretty low. So, the degree of pain is still ok, I am still me, wholesome and good.
This year for my girl, Jc, is on a downhill slide. From the great fear from afraid daddy being led away by other lady to now, fearful of each teachers shouting and scolding in class, her emotional turmoil is on high. This was translated to do not want to go to school, totally immobilized.
It became I had to dress her up like a doll, to see her cry so desperately shouting for mummy at the gate of her school. Form teacher at her wit end, Chinese teacher at her wit end, school counsellor at his wit end, even security officers also at their wit end. Mummy is also at my wit end. There is nothing I could move her. I need a crane!!!
What could I do? Nothing, except cry out to Abba Father…. Knowing He loves me and loves my girl. Jesus had done the Finished Work at the Cross! There is nothing else I could do except cried out to Daddy God. I told Him I don’t know what to do! I don’t know how to be a parent. I asked Him to be the Greater Parent to her. Glory Glory! I am tired of all her outbreak of cry at the school gate, as if she is being led to slaughter. It’s no joke! But My Daddy is good! Glory Glory! Amen Amen!
Last night, she cried of private part pain, I thought is UTI and kept praying against it and even let her take Holy Communion and even sprayed anointed water into her mouth, body and the private area. Satan came to disturb her that she was in great pain till 11pm then finally fallen asleep. At 1am she woke up and on 3am she woke up again. This morning at 7am she could not wake up. Even when she finally up, she was in pain and didn’t want to go school.
I cried to Lord, I called ex to take over, he rejected. But on crying out to Lord, ex called to talk to me about her and advise me to apply nappy rash on her after I told him where the pain came from. He called again to talk to Jc.
After talking to Jc, she was agreeable to go school. I even tell her that if she going to cry out loud, it’s better for her to stay home. I don’t want to face it anymore. I am at my wit end. But, when I am at my end, Lord rise up high. He gave her Grace and now she is in school, about an hour later and missed almost 2 periods of lesson. Glory Glory!
Is there price to pay? Yes, it is scripture, Job went through losing all, but when he looked to Lord, he was blessed double back. Yesterday Pastor Lian preached a good sermon. God wants to restore whatever the locust had stolen. She said if 1 goat is stolen, 5 goats Lord will restore. If 1 sheep is lost, 4 sheep will be restored.
I am looking to my restoration. I know Abba Father is a Great God; whenever He blesses, it is always abundantly. I am looking to this great harvest where the former rain meets the latter rain. Glory Glory! Amen Amen! Lord let Pastor Lian preached this sermon so that I could grab on to Lord’s promise and not be shaken in despair. Glory Glory! Amen Amen!
In these 4 years walk with Jesus; the closer Lord led me to walk with Him, the more trials it comes. I thought I am getting lesser, but there are strong forces that come against me from rising up; such that I never see in my life. I never know that I have to dig deeper into the Grace of Jesus to trust Him for deliverance. Each level of trust in this deliverance is a greater knowledge of Him is the Greatest in All in All. Glory Glory!
I thought that ex being led like a bull into different pits of darkness was hard enough to stomach, but by the Grace of Jesus I could remain in His Shalom Peace. But ex is someone that my feeling had gone pretty low. So, the degree of pain is still ok, I am still me, wholesome and good.
This year for my girl, Jc, is on a downhill slide. From the great fear from afraid daddy being led away by other lady to now, fearful of each teachers shouting and scolding in class, her emotional turmoil is on high. This was translated to do not want to go to school, totally immobilized.
It became I had to dress her up like a doll, to see her cry so desperately shouting for mummy at the gate of her school. Form teacher at her wit end, Chinese teacher at her wit end, school counsellor at his wit end, even security officers also at their wit end. Mummy is also at my wit end. There is nothing I could move her. I need a crane!!!
What could I do? Nothing, except cry out to Abba Father…. Knowing He loves me and loves my girl. Jesus had done the Finished Work at the Cross! There is nothing else I could do except cried out to Daddy God. I told Him I don’t know what to do! I don’t know how to be a parent. I asked Him to be the Greater Parent to her. Glory Glory! I am tired of all her outbreak of cry at the school gate, as if she is being led to slaughter. It’s no joke! But My Daddy is good! Glory Glory! Amen Amen!
Last night, she cried of private part pain, I thought is UTI and kept praying against it and even let her take Holy Communion and even sprayed anointed water into her mouth, body and the private area. Satan came to disturb her that she was in great pain till 11pm then finally fallen asleep. At 1am she woke up and on 3am she woke up again. This morning at 7am she could not wake up. Even when she finally up, she was in pain and didn’t want to go school.
I cried to Lord, I called ex to take over, he rejected. But on crying out to Lord, ex called to talk to me about her and advise me to apply nappy rash on her after I told him where the pain came from. He called again to talk to Jc.
After talking to Jc, she was agreeable to go school. I even tell her that if she going to cry out loud, it’s better for her to stay home. I don’t want to face it anymore. I am at my wit end. But, when I am at my end, Lord rise up high. He gave her Grace and now she is in school, about an hour later and missed almost 2 periods of lesson. Glory Glory!
Is there price to pay? Yes, it is scripture, Job went through losing all, but when he looked to Lord, he was blessed double back. Yesterday Pastor Lian preached a good sermon. God wants to restore whatever the locust had stolen. She said if 1 goat is stolen, 5 goats Lord will restore. If 1 sheep is lost, 4 sheep will be restored.
I am looking to my restoration. I know Abba Father is a Great God; whenever He blesses, it is always abundantly. I am looking to this great harvest where the former rain meets the latter rain. Glory Glory! Amen Amen! Lord let Pastor Lian preached this sermon so that I could grab on to Lord’s promise and not be shaken in despair. Glory Glory! Amen Amen!
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