I like to talk about this topic again since Su only received the full revelation recently. Let talk from the normal daily life that what most couple did.
Take note of what you talk daily to your spouse. Do you demand him/her to do something for you. Do you tried to see if he/she loves you by trying to decode his/hers daily action/reaction to you?
Isn't it weird? During dating, we think more about satisfying our partner then ourselves. But once married, we focus on our partner to see what they do is up to our satisfaction or not. This demand for partner to satisfy our view of things can put strain, stress to the marriage.
Su has a quick temper. Whatever she not happy, she would shoot it out. After all the scolding, her heart cleared and she is happy again with whoever she shot at. But she didn't realise was, each of this demands/accusation, fill into the emotional bank of her husband, and filled up so much, overflow with the accusations that he easily shoot a fiery dart back at her when provoked. I ever received such dart from Su before and I know it wasn't pleasant to be in the receiving end.
Recently, when she learnt from me about no condemnation, she thought after pouring her anger on her husband, then she sms him telling him no condemnation. She told me she applied it but he still unhappy. She puzzled. I told her, once dart is out, shot straight into the heart of the receiving party and cause the injury, then apologise, the damage is done.
How to put Christ in the mid? Putting Christ in the mid is about when some unpleasant feeling comes to you, cast it to Lord's nail-pierced hand first. With the peace of God, then go to talk to your spouse, give Grace, not condemnation. Su told me she prayed to Lord to remove unpleasant feeling, but it did not go off on first prayer. Well, if after casting to Lord's hand and you still feel something, cast again, still you get your peaceful heart.
Finally, Su prayed to Lord to cleared all the pleasantries from her. With the peace of God, she managed to give Grace to spouse. The next morning, Lord showed her that through the years of condemnation, the emotional tub of spouse was so overflowing with guilt/condemnations. Su came to end of self and apologised to spouse for causing so much pain in him.
Lord also shared that the favour she received from dh is out of duty/responsibility of the spouse, if she give Grace, she would receive love in action. Praise the Lord! Su finally gets it and the giving of Grace resulted her husband to love her more. Glory Glory! Finally Su realise the mighty power of this Grace. Glory Glory!
Devil programmed this world for wife to look to husband for love. By daily demand from husband, wife is pushing the husband away and away. That is how devil cause marriage to break. So, don't go by the normal worldly way. Start looking to Jesus finish work on the cross and cast the unhappiness to Lord nail-pierced hand. With a peaceful heart, talk Grace to spouse. If cannot, get Lord to help you give Grace. Overtime, surely, you will see your partner loving you more.
I was counseling an old internet friend today that I think a detail posting is necessary to draw a better understanding on how to put Jesus in the midst of marriage. Glory Glory! May you see His Grace at work! Hallelujah! Amen Amen!
No comments:
Post a Comment