For some moments on and off, I was thinking how can my ex be one of them? As I know him inside out. How he will be good to me I also know.
After know his good and very nasty, do I still want him in my life again? No, what for?
I thought it would be loop sided since the choice is obvious.
I thought I would never like any guy physically as I never had such feeling.
Until this bait appeared, looking into his emotions I saw his control, authority, and how he hold himself.
I was drawn to his overall. Even though I didn’t look at him that detail but overall, I found myself drawn without knowing why.
His voice has power but he is a silent person. The fact that he can be shocking when I asked if he was discharged show that his social skill, with people high ok but general everyone is questioning.
S, through the years, had shown me he is caring.
When I was in IMH, having a huge tomboy looking at me whenever I was around her compound was bad enough.
Thank Jesus, he sent 2 young ladies to be with me. They gave me moments of joy and happiness in that locked up environment.
His disappointment to see me in such is so acceptable.
He was naughty at LKY funeral when he shouted about me.
Even when I was drawn, back in my mind S was such a gentle guy to be. This control my emotions from flowing much. As I viewed S is a easier guy to live with.
But at this moment, it’s still too early as I don’t know both of them yet.
When I am blessed and my status is risen up, then I will see where should I be.
Lord give both of them equal ground. But I wonder how I will get to know their good and bad.
Anyway I will have lots of time. Thousand year is a long time, so no hurry.
