Given Up?

No wonder at church like no large group of people tracing nor in mrt. And at taxi stand also no special arranged cab.

I just returned home and Lord told me you have given up!!!

Don't know why, even though I tried to hold my emotions so as not to fall crazily in love without a man but to hear from the Lord he has given up, I am down cast!!! Not a good feeling for me who guard my heart from hurting just in case it is an hoax!!!

Through the year, so many tricks were played on me that even sincerity could be a game on their end of pretendance, that when the Favour of cabs come, I dare not stretch out and let all go just in case it was an hoax.

But I love the attention given. To see all come to an end, yes, it does hurt me, but not as much as ex did!! As I yet to see you and I dare not let go my emotions.

As I am a woman and I need to respond to a man when my emotion is up!!! It's not easy to do that as, as much as I need you and want you, with you not turning up and I could not do it to anyone else, controlling my emotion is important, not that I don't want you!!! Just that I need to control!!!

You won't get it as you are not a emotional being but I am!!! How to love a man when I can't even see him and know him?

But if you want to let go, so be it, no point carrying on at this point, even though I want you very much!!! I need your presence, I need a real man!!!

Maybe it would be better when my body is renewed and I am highly blessed. Till that day come, if you not comfortable with the current me, I understand too!!!

What I goes through who could understand??? But I am not complaining and I just take it as a test!!!

It would be better if the Lord take me and I go be with Him but He wants me to remain to do His Job!!!

Well, till that day come, maybe the Fall Festival whom He yet to fulfill, till that day, when I am fully transformed, maybe till that day come then we see how things goes!!!

You will stay in my heart at the meantime!!!

Thank you for your care and concern!!! JESUS loves you!!!

PS: How I dream having you with me for the CNY, for the February 14th but alas, it just a dream!!!