My Ex

Thursday evening, ex promised to pick Jc up at 10pm. But he was early at 8-9pm. I was in my shower then!!!

I wondered why he came early. As he is also waiting for my blessing and looking to what he could have from it. He had been very friendly to me of late! Even his allowance to me has never been so prompt!!!

If without meeting the man on Sunday and sense his sweet feeling, the heart to heart transmission, I talked about, I would have buy into his treating me better!!!

However, that sweetness of feeling that came upon me is indescriptable. It is a happy feeling that lasted. So much so that when ex mention there is no other women in his life currently, just him and Jc, I sensed he is telling me that if I am blessed, I can go back to him. I guess this is what he is implying. But even the joke he shared that Jc also flow in line with him, was a negative joke that I can't find anything to laugh at and I sensed an emptiness from him.

With the man's feeling for me, now I can tell a different of the emptiness in his heart for me! No wonder Lord long ago told me that I don't know what is true love. The sweetness of the feeling that lingers in my soul makes me realised when a man loves a woman, the feeling is so pure! There is no way material nor pretendance can fake it out!!!

Praise The Lord that we are created in His Image!!! I heard from those that visited Heaven that words is not spoken even though it is possible!!! Most time, it's a heart to heart transmission that they call it the inner knowing!!! That's why hearts do talk!!!

Ex had previously hope that I would die and all my money be given to Jc so that he could access to it!!! That time he emphasized so much to the extend of accusing I don't love Jc if I don't do so!!!

He has been hiding whatever girl friends he had in those years before divorce to the 4 years after the divorce!!! Guess he wants to remarry me if I am blessed and rich, so that he could get a big share out of it!!!

I guess he did went to church to try to get them to pay something for my heart is with Jesus!!! When He gave Jc access to his iPad, I found Ps Prince phone no and also, he had sideline, meaning beside the girlfriend, he also had other source of woman to play with!!! I saw the remark that he was below her condo and told her to come down to get him!!!

Lord let me saw all these before he eventually deleted them all!!!

Whatever I need to know, I praise Jesus that He impressed me to find them out!!! It's not that I am smart!!! But it's all His Leading!!! Glory Glory!!!

That's why between the 2 men, ex and the new man, my heart is more of seeing what the new could offer instead of doing a u-turn. Lord leads me to know it's a Big No, No to head for this direction!!!

If what the new man is, is acceptable to me, I will gladly take him than go back to ex. All the negativeness even joke on others pain to get joy is just not my cup of tea anymore!!! That 10 years of living with him is enough! I don't want my whole life to waste on him!!!

That's why, even he provide a problemless situation lately, it's an emptiness that I don't want to be associated with.

I taste the sweetness of Love and I want to taste more of it!!! This is why I have a positive feeling for what is ahead!!! Just that I am not sure of his desire!!! From what Lord is preparing me lately, it seem like it is going to jump from a dull and hardly any sex life with ex previously to a super on sex life!!! I hope the newness of what Lord had change me could cope with this as I am not tested out yet!!!

Anyway, I just have to wait patiently and see what Lord bring forth for me!!! Glory Glory!!! Amen!! Amen!!!