Family

Just before the CNY, I was talking to my neighbour's maid about family relationship.

She was from a village in Indonesia where everybody knows everybody and in her family, they treat the grandparents with respect n treated her parents with respect and now come to Singapore to work, treat the people she work with with respect.

What I want to talk about here is as society 'process' to look to and run for money, the focus on relationship becomes diluted. One might think, No, my family is still together, but in the process of independent, we have pushed human relationship away!!!

For my family, the maid, M, was saying my mum family still good, as we weekly come back to her; gather with her. She was saying her Ah Mah, her younger days was spent going out with her spouse and told the married children no need to come visit her! In the process, she gave the children no heart to visit her.

Now, she is older and with her spouse returned to earth, the children told her they were busy going somewhere and have no time for her!!!! They only visited her once or more than a month! Only the eldest son visited more often.  Maybe he spent the most time with her and thus have a heart for her!!!

I was telling the maid that this once a week visit was not enough! The parents should not be independent to live their own life!

Look at my parents, they did spend time with my brother a lot more and my mum did spend time with me at my house for about a year or so. When human are put together, by virtue of staying together, relationship occur. So much so that those of us closer to her care more for her! We considered her part of the family.

My eldest sis hardly bring my parents out and had not had mum with her over a period of time. It was due to mum sickness that after much pleading and assurance from us that she finally received mum to her home for that period of time!

Love is time spend with someone, giving that someone undivided and unconditional time. When such an occasion happened love developed.

I was concerned of Jc over all development that I asked her if she really want me n her dad to reconcile eventually when Jesus renewed my youth and I am young again. His complaint about me was old and fat!!!

It is not that I fancy him. But to hear my girl talked about she wants to see how low she could go, it just show her hack care attitude after knowing her dad really do not love her mum at all! She has accepted the fact the situation cannot be restored whatever she might have hope for is dead! It is with this reason she don't bother whatever might happen to her dad or me; she just care about be happy in her own world!!!

It's a protection she draw on herself that might result in being self centred like her dad had been. He was from another broken family that got him to protect his own interest and look to self so much!!!

Well, from writing this post about love, I get to understand Jc and through her, understand ex better!!! I was previously wondered why he so self centred! Now I finally got the answer!!!

Love, Love, Love......time, time, time!!!!

No wonder, God the Father, Jesus the Son and Lord the Holy Spirit, come as the God of Love. He gives us His Undivided and Unconditional Time n Love!!! Hallelujah!!! Amen!!! Amen!!!

PS (3rd Feb 2014):

While talking to ex about understanding his self-centredness, I have a new understanding! When children in divorced case see no hope for their parents and their wish for the relation to reconcile gone, this relying on, drawing on their parents love are also gone. This is a trust on parents, on love one to provide the emotional need is gone. They become so self protective from getting hurt again.

When this happen, even in their grown up years, their trust and rely on their future partner is gone too! With this, they don't know what is fall in love about. They used their brain to control their emotion so as not to be hurt again.

As such, being their partner, one cannot sense their love for them in the long run. They can do things or buy things to please the people they want to impress but behind all these, they guard their heart so well that there is no real love as they did not let themselves fall in love to emotionally needing the lover. As such, it become a loveless marriage!!!