How are you?

This was the question posed to me by ex yesterday. It was the coldest question that I ever received. It is like after so many years of sending lots of curses to me, and now he is asking, are you any where nearer to death or not!!!

When Lord told me about bringing him back to me, there was thousands of NO from me. I have enough of all his shit that to receive him again is like coating myself with the dung!!! It was a repelling NO that I am in no sense going to have him back!!!

Even though I said no, Lord still painted good picture of his return. But deep in my heart I am not willing, but since He said so, I have to obey somewhat. Even though I am not keen at all!!!

Lord got him to send me n Jc home after marketing and even that, there was a sense of repel in me that I deemed myself out of that equation of togetherness. The sudden quick shake of Jc by him as we got off the car sent a distaste to me. Jc was blurred why he did it!!!

Finally, at night, Lord told me this test to see if I am still interested in him passed His test!!! My heart finally felt relieved!!! Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!

All these tests really amazed me!!! Even such is also a test!!! That is even the greatest disbelieve!!! Anyway, I am glad it is so and I have no more heart to let him come any nearer. What I could see of him is an ugly man trying to make sure I get out of this home be it alive or dead!!!

He has all planned; how to do with that apartment and all things of Jc he is holding tight!!!

Yes, I am left with an empty shell and the Lord!!! I thank God that in this darkest moment of my life, He is with me. 2.5 months more and I am supposed to be out of here!!! Only Lord could do His Miracle!!! I need a place to go to and a home that feels warmth!!! Surely, My Abba Father will take good care of me!!!

Surely, the world reject me, but Lord loves me!!! Darkness is making me sure that my daily search of food is hard too. Everything is caving in!!! Only His Light is with me that I will not die for His Glory sake!!!

All these shaking will only bring me closer to Him and His Provision!!! I want that slice of Heaven to live my life!!! His Glory will shine high!!! Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!