Now I Understand

Psalm 124
'A Song of David.
If it had not been the LORD who was on our side, now Israel say,
If it had not been the LORD who was on our side when men rose up against us,
then they would have swallowed us up alive when their wrath was kindled against us:
then the waters would have overwhelmed us, the stream would have gone over our body:
then the deliberately wicked waters would have gone over our body.

Blessed be the LORD, who has not given us as prey to their teeth.

Our life has escaped like a bird out of the snare of the fowler:
the snare is broken and we have escaped.

Our help is in the name of the LORD, who made Heaven and Earth.'

Long ago, Lord used Su to test me. He acted as a hard task master that was always condemned me and hurt me very deeply that I wanted to dig a hole to hide away from Him forever. But when  realised I could not hide from this Almighty God, after all, the whole earth was created by Him, He could looked through all things to our hearts, He will be able to seek me out, so I cleaned my tears and turn back to Him to be tested again.

At that time, I was wondering why Lord being so nasty towards me!!! With my test from the devil getting stronger and stronger and in my pain, I almost want to dig a hole and hide, I pray to Lord if He is using me then healed me fully, else take me away as I know heaven is a beautiful place where Love of God is everywhere and I long to go there!!!

Lord always led me to shed my tears and fight again for my rest. Glory Glory!!! Devil thought he could take away my brain and let me be under his curse. He even get church not to pray for me. It's more and more like David where everyone turned against him. But like him, God, my Abba Father is with me and it is He that darkness could not shut!!! Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!! All men could fail but God never fail!!! Hallelujah!!! Amen Amen!!!

Recently, when Jc was angry with me, she said, 'I will kill you!!!' Then in her PSLE Oral waiting room, a classmate, a boy, practised his picture conversation. He was describing how he would use a knife to slice opened his classmate body to take the lollipop, which was in his tummy to eat!!!

This two events lead me to think nowadays, kids played too many computer game or see those games played by others and talked killing the opponent as a fun event and I know computer game made killing opponent as a thrilled event. Kids played all these game and see all these games being played and showed in YouTube,  to them, killing someone is fun, is thrilling!!!

We saw some manifestation of these here in Singapore of people got beaten or even injured to death, and all these youth that did it, were so cruel in their attack of strangers they barely know.

In US, there were kids or teenagers that took their parents gun, killed their parents and some even went to school to do some killing before killing themselves. All these are not isolated event. It's the computer games, the movie, the TV shows, that show killing, badly beaten someone as fun and thrilling, the mindset of the youth understand such cruel act as fun and thrilling, they will be more willing to do it.

Even in China, while watching the traditional Chinese teaching, it also talked of young adult kill each other over a quarrel or anything that many of them were caught and sentenced to death.

If society and parents are not going to block such teaching from eroding the youth value towards life, the world is going to be a worse place to live!!! We can watch out for terrorist but the frightening thing is all these youth talked killing as fun or in anger, when such thoughts are manifested into action, how are we to handle??? Catch them to jail is not a long term solution. Long term solution is to prevent wrong teaching from getting into them without much awareness of it effects by the adults!!!

My girl used to watch this game played and recorded in YouTube and the boys playing was laughing and chasing another one in the game and killing him in the game and this one being 'killed' would make some sound and everyone of them laughed. My girl laughed with them too.

I didn't know such fun in killing was getting into her till a recent argument and in her anger, it just came out of her that she wanted to kill me!!! How does that sound when a kid said wanting to kill the parents???

The father had been telling her that when mummy move out, her longing to be with her dad will be fulfilled that she ever told me to get out of the house or get lost!!! As the daddy had promised her that when I leave, he will transfer my name out and put her name in and the house is hers in future!!!

With that, my words was light in her ears while she listened to her dad!!! See, he taught her I am not important and yet, expect me to guide her in her learning!!!

I never felt that alone in life as now!!! Be it church, or family or my siblings!!! Su is even saying that I am insane for staying too long at home!!! She does not understand what I am going through and thought that as long as she don't feel it, that means what I am going through is not real!!!

I am glad that when all things are taken from me, I still have Lord with me that I am not alone. The time is almost there but it is not there yet!!! I have to continue to be patient and continue to walk with Him!!!

The only thing that keep me going is His Promise to me!!! I know what is ahead for me!!! Men can be cruel but they are just puppet by the devil!!! But the blood of Jesus had washed devil from Heaven and now they are on earth. When Jesus fully manifest on earth again, he surely will fallen to hell!!! Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!

I know no one could stop Jesus from manifestation so I just let Him take care of it. Glory Glory!!! Amen Amen!!!