Recent encounter in life, let me realise how great is the LOVE of JESUS. Since young, I am always fighting with boys. Young time, my fighting partner was my brother, because mum loves him much and he need not do housework at all. I feel that it was unfair. In my marriage, I also make sure my hubby take charge of certain house work. I do not want to be the only one doing.
My relationship with hubby actually had gone down the hill to hit the pit. I am glad that in this low moment, Lord is there to uphold me. He leads me to be the submissive wife, taking care of hubby's needs, from daily needs to sexual satisfaction. To serve him as I would serving a lover and looking for his love. Tempting him to come home for dinner. After 2 weeks of being a submissive wife, I am reaching my burn out point. In the natural, hard to put myself into serving an able body. But to save this marriage, I have to do it.
As bad mood takes over me today, I am feeling sick of it. Just as I was wallowing myself, Lord leads me to think of Jesus. I for 2 weeks, bring my hubby drinks, fondle him, offer all sex services to please him. I was thinking, what the hack that I must do all these and where is the part of satisfying myself? I was listening to the worship song, 'Gospel Revolution'. As I think of Lord Jesus, Abba father, I realised what a Great Saviour cum Lover is He. Praise the Lord!
Before I even know him, Lord Jesus walked a righteous life for me and went to the cross for me so that I could get His Righteousness and receive His Great Grace and Mercy to live a victorious life. He demonstrated His Love to me and waited patiently for me to come close to Him. At each step of coming close, He blessed the walk with him that I might keep in interest to walk closer. Praise the Lord!
I was looking at how much I did and how far hubby has responded. The do so much for so little feeling leads to my frustration. It was through this that I realise, Abba Father is very patient. Each day He resides in me, He waits there for me to talk to Him and worship him. Sometime out of bad mood, I don't bother much about His Love, but He is still there loving me. His patience and endurance to wait for me to response to His love is great! He never complain nor has he move away. He is always there to comfort me and lead me close to Him. Compare to Him, I am a nothing. I was just showing love for 2 weeks and I am tired. But Lord is still faithfully waiting for all His children to walk closely with him.
Just now after doing jc's pizza and hubby's, I really so tired in the heart that I did not want to do my own pizza any more. While sitting on my chair, Lord strengthened me up to prepare my own pizza, praise the Lord!
Abba father, you are so faithful and patient. We, all your children of God, guess your neck has grown very long, waiting for us to call on you and rest in you. Abba father, thank you for walking closely with me and lift up my head each time I fell off. Glory to Lord Jesus! Amen & Amen!
PS: My marriage is in recovery stage now. We are no more strangers in this marriage. We have move to friendship level. The breakdown of the marriage is due to Christianity. I for and He against. Praise the Lord that He is my Saviour! Amen & Amen!
4 comments:
Praise Jesus!
"And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to [His] purpose." Rom 8:28
"What then shall we say to these things? If God [is] for us, who [can be] against us? " Rom 8:31
Geri has been posting the Love Dare notes on her site. Take a look sometime when you're free :)
Also, i've left a reply after your comment on my blogsite. tks for dropping by again and hope to fellowship with you in person one day Steph. :)
What I didn't pen in this blog is each of the pit my hubby fell into, lead by the son of devil, I suffered great pain and each of them was a good enough reason to kick him out of my life.
When he feel guilt and become defensive, what me as his wife tell him? I told him I forgiven all that he had done and only look ahead for the good.
Even when he throw me aside and go for the green pasture, I still say I forgive him and don't look to it. I only look to the good of future. No condemnation No condemnation.
I praise Lord that He give me the strength to walk thru each pit that he fell.
Glory Glory, each pit, Lord's Mighty hand pulled him back. Lord give me lots of Grace to love him again. To serve his sexual needs even I did not get any.
Grace Grace and lots of Grace!
Yesterday I just agreed with my sis. If I am not in Christ and did not know Lord could change him, I would have kick him out of my life many times over.
But in Grace, I continue to love him very very much. I did not realise that I love him so much till thru this few trials.
Lord said hubby had gone thru his last prosecution. Now that He is out. We shall head towards the Good.
Hallelujah!!! Praise the Lord!!!
Praise Jesus!!
"But thanks [be] to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ." 1 Cor 15:57
I wrote a draft in my blog which i haven't posted. In it, i mentioned that we know we're spiritual men & women when Jesus = Everything. With Jesus, no weapons formed against us shall prosper. When we take God's word as final, simply nothing, even ourselves can cause a reversal of His promises! ;)
I'm looking forward to hearing more testimonies on God's goodness in you & your family's life.
shalom!
Hi Angie,
I thank you for your words of God that sharpen my stand in faith for this marriage.
Thank you very much!!!
Shalom,
Stephanie
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