Father's Love

Yesterday, I went to Patricia King site and listen to 3 pastors talking about their fathers.

One said the father loves her so much and another said that the father told her that she could do all things she wanted. I was most touched by the man talking about his father took a suitcase and walk out of their home when he was young!

He said from that day on, the mum had to take on both the role of mother and father and he said life is never the same again.

Even though his mum and grandma loved them so much, he said there is something about the mum that was lost forever. He said at 40+ and the mum 70+, they knew something is missing from her being just a mum previously!!!

He was made fun of in school and even in church, the words that mean well was hurtful to him. He has no clue on how to be a man. He had to look at friend's father and other role model around to learn how to be a man!!!

He lost his dad from 7-14 yrs old and at 14, while playing outside the house, he saw his dad's old pickup truck drove near and stopped in front of their house, with him was his current wife.

This pastor had a burning question to ask him but never got the chance. His dad is dead now and he got no chance to ask!!!

He want to know why his dad left them. He want to know, when situation become impossible, why can't he tried work things out for the sake of the kids. He missed those time the dad spent time alone with him, he misses a dad to tell him, son, you are okay!!! The affirmation from a dad is so important to his growth!!! Till now, this part is void in him forever!!!

As I listened to him, I wondered me as a mom, being missing from Jc's life, what is the implication. What I noticed was the hook on her skirts wouldn't properly sow! And her uniform was not ironed. She was telling me it's okay but I know she appreciated that I helped her to fix her problem of loose hook!!!

Father and mother hold different role!! Dad's role is to affirm and mum's role is to nurture, to care for their needs and their comforts. Each of the role cannot take over by the other parent as man and woman are mould to be different!!!

Even though Jc said that she is used to it, apparently, she is not!!! At least, her school result is the tell tale sign that she does not have the motivation to work hard for herself. So far life is wasting away!!! It has to take a great effort for her to turn to study!!! And I am not sure she want to put in the effort when life is sucks!!! She wants to see how sucks she could go!!! That's her currently!!!

If there is anything that could break the brokenness, only Jesus and His Finished Work, His Much More Abundance of Grace and His Mercy!!!

I do care for her wellness but ex, I have no more heart to return to him!!! It's a end of path for me!!! If things going to happen, Lord has to clear everything he is unhappy with me out of me and enhance me. Lord also have to do likewise to him. Also the Love needed for the relationship to work!!!

Do I forseen such? No, I am not looking forward to it at all!!! God bless!!!

Abba, thank You for Your insight of things of family!!! I thank You for Your Teaching!!! Glory Glory!!! Amen!!! Amen!!!

The Full Cycle of Divorce

Divorce, plainly explain, is when a couple sealed in a covenant of marriage decided to break fully this commitment to each other. But actually this commitment never fully broke even after.

The implication usually both side of the union were affected. Even for those that goes for other person. It is about guilt and to cure the guilt, defense and anger is shown!!!

For the one suffering, it's regret, pain and even depressed.

Children produced in the union are the most hurt! For their idea of a family is gone! They gone through blaming themselves for the parents problem. They went through fear, don't know who will still love them, who will still care for them and they will see where they want to trust and commit the security.

What I don't get it is why Jc reacted differently to her daddy and to me.

Her daddy, she just accept whoever come along and reacted if that person could establish a relationship with her. If yes, she could place her loyalty with her and forget totally about me!!! Maybe also she knew by default, she could turn to me as and when she needed.

However, in the recent trick played on me, when she thought I am going for someone else, her default fall back is gone and she felt betrayal and lost her trust in me and lost her hope of any reunion of her parents!! She distanced herself from me!!!!

Her decision put me in a trap!!! It's either I remain single and she happier or I find someone and totally lost her!!! Either choice, it won't make me happy!!! Why father and daughter likes to give me choice that is not a choice at all!!!

Lord leads me to see the full cycle of the divorce and I read that it had no added value to the teen for the parent to remarry as it involve them having to accept a stranger that the teen have no clue of. Also, seeing parent intimacy with the new partner and how the parent treat them now, all are new areas to look into!!!

She had told me she don't want to get marry sometime back in the early stage of the divorce!!!

Then from all these, then I understand what ex went through and why he is not into marriage!!! With so much soul wounds in him, no wonder!!!

Recently, with the understanding, I prayed for him to be loosen from all those soul wounds that he had been carrying all these years!!!

I thank Abba for leading me see the full cycle!!! No wonder He don't want couple to break off!!! Now I finally understands what it causes to each of the family members!!! I thank Jesus is the Redeemer and whatever the locust has stolen, he is able to restore with even better deal!!!

I thank Jesus for His Finished Work that Nothing is Impossible with Him!!! Glory Glory!!!